


Humanity Is Like A Cockroach

by silentraccoonrave



Series: Moving On Isn't Forgetting [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Past Eating Disorder, M/M, Mostly Everyone Lives, PTSD, Pacific Rim AU, Slow Burn, allura and pidge are significantly older than everyone else xcept coran, also pidge is matt's older sibling instead of younger bc reasons, canon-typical for pacrim tho not voltron, gay reasons, gotta save the world first kiddos, namely allura and pidge being lance's moms, non binary pidge, unsolicited pop culture references, voltron and zarkon are cats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-15 01:58:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 38,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8037745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentraccoonrave/pseuds/silentraccoonrave
Summary: A piece of Shiro’s past hunts him down in a helicopter and drags him back into battle.





	1. Hello, Wherever You Are, Die Fighting In A Paladin Or Working On The Wall?

**Author's Note:**

> behold….the pacrim fic literally no one asked for
> 
> watching pacific rim isn't mandatory (i think), but having seen it will definitely help with visuals
> 
> there is a prequel to this that touches on matt and shiros relationship if you wanna read that first (not necessary to this story if you know the basic plot of pacific rim tho)
> 
> tags and rating subject to change as need be, unbeta’d, ~~and i hope to update this once a week, possibly more if im really on a roll~~ find out when i update by rolling a d20, multiplying that number by 5, going to that line number in the 3rd act of your least favorite shakespeare play and using the 2nd word to summon the antichrist to ask him maybe he knows cause i sure as shit dont

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Allura wants, Allura gets.

Five years after losing Matt, Shiro once again found himself working on humanity's latest and greatest defense against the Galra. Only this time it wasn't revolutionary new combat technology. No, it was a project creatively named the Coastal Wall. Miles and miles of titanium, steel, and concrete wrapped around the Pacific Ocean in a last ditch attempt to keep humanity safe from the Galra.

After washing up in the middle of nowhere on the Alaskan Coast, Shiro had been found by an old man and his grandson. They had called the Garrison, and he’d been rushed to a medical facility back in Anchorage where he was kept for a year while his arm was amputated and outfitted with a cutting edge prosthetic. It was the first of its kind, with the mechanical arm wired directly into his nervous system. And, as one of the doctors pointed out helpfully, an increased compatibility with the Paladin piloting interface.

Shiro had not appreciated that information. Matt's death had scarred him in more ways than just physical, and he had no intention of getting back into a Paladin just to reopen those wounds. He left the Pan-Pacific Garrison medical facility and its mandatory fit-for-service psych evals the moment he had been declared healthy and physically stable. He’d found a job on the Wall and been following shifts ever since.

Due to the harsh conditions and subpar safety regulations, workers died almost daily on the Wall. But the prospect of higher rations meant there were always bodies willing to risk the treacherous conditions to work at the top. Today, Shiro had been one of those bodies.

At the end of his shift, Shiro swung the welding pack off his shoulders and returned it to its rack as the television hanging outside the foreman’s office began the evening news. A pretty young reporter was talking about a Galra attack that had taken place in Sydney, Australia, earlier that day. The screen cut to footage of the attack as the reporter continued talking.

“The Galra, an enormous Category 4, broke through the Coastal Wall in less than an hour, the Wall of Life that had been deemed unbreakable by its builders.”

“Why the hell are we even building this thing?” someone behind Shiro called. “That thing went through the Wall like it was nothing!” The workers around him angrily muttered their assent as the reporter continued.

“Ironically, it was the recently decommissioned Paladin _Balmera Thunder_ , piloted by Shay and Rax Javeeno, that eventually took the beast down.”

Shiro looked up as the report cut to Rax Javeeno’s infuriated features. He glared around as reporters waved microphones and plagued him with questions.

“Look,” Rax growled, clearly mid-rant. “They decommissioned the Paladin program because of mediocre pilots. It is that simple. That was _Balmera Thunder_ ’s tenth kill to date. It is a new record!”

“Are you still going to Hong Kong after what happened?” a reporter yelled over the clamor.

“Orders are orders,” Rax snapped. “What else am I supposed to do?”

The segment ended, and Shiro turned away from the TV. He grabbed his duffle from where he’d stashed it under the equipment racks and pushed his way through the crowd of workers thronging around the television and returning their equipment to its places.

Shiro had heard about the Paladin program getting shut down from Matt’s older sibling, Pidge Gunderson. They hadn't been able to tell him much, but it had been enough to make Shiro worry. The Garrison had lost its UN funding. They had been losing Paladins faster than they could be built. The UN had decided that the Coastal Wall would be a more beneficial investment of resources.

The last time Pidge had been able to get a message through, they'd said that his old Marshal, Allura Pentecost, had been ordered to take all the remaining Paladins to the Hong Kong Shatterdome, where the UN would provide eight more months of resources before the Garrison would be on its own. That had been before Shiro relocated again with the Wall. He hadn't heard anything else from Pidge since.

Shiro stepped out of the equipment warehouse into the elements. He pulled his old army jacket tighter against the wind and snow and looked upwards at the roar of a helicopter overhead.

It was a military chopper with the Pan-Pacific Garrison seal emblazoned on the door. Shiro watched as it touched down outside the warehouse and Allura Pentecost stepped out into the snow. She ducked out from under the whirling helicopter blades and looked around at the workers’ compound built next to the Wall. Her eyes landed on Shiro, so he hoisted his duffle up onto his shoulder and strolled over to her.

“Mr. Shirogane,” Allura greeted him with a nod. Her long silvery-white hair was pulled back in an elaborate braid. She looked as impeccable as ever in full dress uniform under a sturdy overcoat.

“Marshal,” Shiro responded neutrally. He shifted uncomfortably in front of her in his filthy work clothes. “Looking sharp,” he added, hoping she wouldn't notice the grease stains and questionable smudges lurking all over his clothes and body.

“Thanks,” Allura said. Her eyes skated over every stain and smudge and paused on the part of his hair that had been shocked white by the neural overload from piloting a Paladin alone. “It's been a while.”

“Five years, four months,” Shiro said casually, like he hadn't been counting every second of every day since he had last heard Allura's panicked shouts through the comms.

Allura smiled sadly like she knew exactly what he wasn’t saying. “May I have a word, Shiro?”

Shiro stood in front of her for a full minute, the wind whipping their clothes and the snow swirling around them, before shrugging and heading towards the nearest bunkhouse. “Right this way.”

Once inside the bunkhouse, Shiro dumped his duffle in an empty corner and sat down on the nearest bunk. He turned to face Allura as she shrugged out of her overcoat and placed it on the bed next to him. She scanned the decrepit room around them with tired eyes and sighed heavily.

“It took me a while to find you,” she said in a hushed voice. “You've been busy since you left the Corps.”

Shiro shrugged loosely. “A man of my position travels with the wall. I signed up in Anchorage. Been chasing shifts all along the Alaskan coast. It's not much, but it's a life,” he said and looked Allura squarely in the eye. “But you aren't here to catch up on the past few years. What do you want?”

“I’m sure you've heard about my situation,” Allura answered briskly. She began pacing up and down in the space between Shiro's bunk and the wall. “From both the news and-” her mouth twisted sourly, “-other sources. You know what's been going on. But what you don't know is that I’ve spent the last six months activating everything I can get my hands on.”

Shiro nodded passively. His gaze slipped from her pacing form to the floor between his feet. So Allura knew about Pidge. Interesting.

“I recently found myself in possession of an old Paladin,” Allura continued. “A Mark 3. You may know it.”

Shiro's breath caught in his throat and his head jerked up sharply to stare at Allura. “And?” he asked cautiously.

“It needs a pilot,” Allura answered calmly, standing with her back to him.

“No,” Shiro choked out after a long pause. He shook his head furiously. “No. Find someone else. I swore- never again.”

“All the other Mark 3 pilots are dead, Shiro,” Allura said levelly as she turned around to face him. “You are my only option.”

“Then train someone else,” Shiro snapped. “You’ll have to train me a copilot if you haven't already. Just train two instead of one and they can pilot it. I was still connected to- to- to my partner when he died.” Shiro looked away from Allura and blinked furiously, trying to hold back his tears. “I’m sorry, but I can't go through that. Not again.”

“Oh, Shiro,” Allura whispered. She reached out and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You think I would ask this of you if I didn't think it was for the best?”

“No,” Shiro said with a deep shuddering breath. “I don't. But I can't have anyone else in my head, not even for you.”

Allura's hand dropped from Shiro's shoulder, and she backed away from the bunk. There was a long pause as Allura watched Shiro try to pull himself together.

Eventually, Allura drew herself up to her full height and broke the silence. “Haven't you heard, Mr. Shirogane?” she asked, voice as biting as the wind outside. “The world is coming to an end.”

Allura stepped forward, eyes narrowed and lip curling. “Now ask yourself where you would rather die. Here, cowering behind the Wall, or fighting in the cockpit of a Paladin?”


	2. Lance McClain Wishes He Was Cool Enough To Be Mako Mori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance embarrasses himself and Hunk deserves like 30 friendship bracelets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lance as a sputtering blushing bisexual mess makes my soul happy
> 
> also spanish makes an appearance in this chapter, but i make no promises as to its accuracy seeing as i wrangled it together with a combination of spanishdict.com and 3 years of public school spanish classes that i havent used for over a year so im sorry to any native spanish speakers who have to suffer through that. also what i was trying to say is in brackets at the end of the paragraphs cause scrolling down to the end notes to see a translation is Tiring and Pointless

Lance McClain stood on the landing deck of the Hong Kong Shatterdome in the rain. An hour ago, Allura had radioed ahead to say that she would be arriving soon with Takashi Shirogane, the renowned ex-pilot of _Kerberos Rising_ and one of two people on earth who had ever piloted a Paladin singlehandedly. Lance had immediately grabbed his umbrella and sprinted out to the landing deck.

He was regretting that decision now.

No amount of excitement about meeting his lifelong hero could compare to the unpleasantness of standing in to the rain while the wind tried to yank Lance’s massive umbrella out of his hand. He tightened his grip on the umbrella and adjusted his hold on the tablet he’d carried out with him so that it wasn't digging into his side.

A flight controller ran up to him and ducked under the edge of the umbrella. "Mind if I kip here a bit?" she asked.

"My umbrella is always open to anyone who needs it," Lance said with a grin. "Especially anyone as beautiful as you, Jess."

Jess rolled her eyes with a groan. "You took a good pun, and you ruined it with flirting. Also, Allura's chopper just requested permission to land, so you can fix your hair for your crush."

Lance flushed and sputtered indignantly. "What crush? What are you talking about?"

Jess laughed and smoothed down his hair for him. "You don't fool any of us, Lance. But it's cute to watch you try."

"I'm always cute, no matter what," Lance replied haughtily. Then he gently swatted Jess with the tablet as the sounds of the chopper broke through the roar of the rain. "Now get out from my umbrella. Don't you have a job to do?"

"Alright, Lance," Jess laughed and gave him a quick hug. "Good luck with your crush," she called as she darted back out into the rain.

"Shaddup!" Lance shouted after her, then turned around to watch Allura's chopper sink into view below the edge of his umbrella.

Once the helicopter had landed, the door swung open and Allura stepped out, her stride elegant and collected. Lance hurried forward and raised his umbrella so she could slip under the brim. His adoptive mother stepped out of the rain with a nod of thanks. Lance turned with her to watch as the second occupant of the helicopter hopped out into the rain. 

Lance felt his jaw drop.

Takashi Shirogane was everything Lance had imagined and more. He couldn't have been more than a couple years older than Lance’s spry 21, but he carried himself with the same quiet confidence as Allura, who was almost twice his age. Shiro was wearing a massive winter coat that hid most of his body, but the front was hanging open and the rain was doing God's work on his shirt. Lance swallowed dryly as the rain soaked t-shirt clung to the man’s torso. He ran his eyes up the washboard abs and over the glorious pecs to Shiro's face. Thankfully, he hadn't noticed Lance yet, so Lance shamelessly continued to stare. Shiro’s stormy grey eyes swept around the busy loading desk while Lance’s gaze traced over his killer jawline and the large scar across his nose. Lance let his eyes skim over the drenched shock of white hair over Shiro’s forehead and sighed dreamily.

" _Recoge tu mandíbula del suelo_ ," Allura muttered to him before calling Shiro over. Lance felt his earlier blush come back in full force as Shiro turned and looked him dead in the eye. Shiro smiled brightly and gave a dorky little wave, then hefted a duffle bag onto his shoulder and walked over to them. ["Pick your jaw up off the ground."]

 _Shiro's smile could probably cure cancer_ , Lance thought dimly as he tried to force down his blush. But Allura was already introducing them, and Shiro was offering him his hand with a sweet, "Call me Shiro."

Lance swallowed nervously and handed his tablet to Allura so he could take Shiro's hand. "L-L-Lance," he stuttered as Shiro shook his hand. He glanced over at Allura and mumbled, " _No luce como pensé que se vería_." ["He doesn't look like I thought he would look."]

" _¿Mejor o peor?_ " Shiro asked with a smirk. Lance froze, hand still clasped in Shiro's, as Allura chucked softly next to him. ["Better or worse?"]

"This is Lance McClain, one of our brightest. He is in charge of the Mark 3 restoration program with his friend Hunk Garett, the principal engineer. He also personally handpicked your copilot candidates," she said and turned towards the elevator. "Now are you two done holding hands, or would you like to get out of the rain?"

Lance dropped Shiro's hand like it was on fire and stumbled after Allura, making sure to keep the umbrella over her head. He heard a quiet laugh behind him but refused to look back.

Inside the elevator, Lance took his tablet back from Allura and dropped his eyes to the floor to avoid further embarrassing himself by staring at Shiro. He didn't need to hurt his image anymore than he already had.

“We’ll tour the facility first, then Mr. McClain will show you to your Paladin, Mr. Shirogane,” Allura announced. Lance cut her a mournful glare as she smiled blithely back at him. She was enjoying his internal anguish, he could tell.

“Sounds wonderful,” Shiro murmured from her other side. Lance clutched his tablet to his chest and did his best not to melt into the floor at the sound.

"Wait! Hold the lift! Wait!"

Lance's head snapped up, and he lunged forward to hold the doors open for the pair of panting scientists rolling two giant clear containers holding large pieces of Galra biomatter.

"Hunk, my man!" Lance cried happily, jumping into the arms of the larger of the two. "You're back!"

"That I am!" Hunk answered enthusiastically. He was a giant of a man with thick brown hair held back by an orange headband and a large tattoo peeking out from beneath the collar and left sleeve of his shirt. Hunk swept up Lance in a massive hug and spun him around before plopping him back down on the ground.

"You two are disgusting," the other scientist scoffed.

“Your mullet is disgusting,” Lance shot back, because honestly, it was. Keith looked like he’d timewarped from the 90s just to offend Lance with his horrible mullet and atrocious fashion sense.

Keith rolled his eyes. “Wow. Really going for the throat there, Lance.”

Lance, epitome of maturity that he was, stuck his tongue out at him. “Shut up, Keith. It's not my fault you're too emotionally constipated to admit you want in on this,” he snapped, pointing unsubtly at the back of Hunk’s head with the hand that wasn't pinned between his and Hunk's bodies.

“Do not!” Keith sputtered indignantly even as his face flushed scarlet.

Lance pulled himself from Hunk’s embrace and grinned smugly. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” he said with a smirk.

“This, Mr. Shirogane, is our research team,” Allura said behind them, amusement lacing her tone. “Hunk Garett and Keith Kogane.”

Lance froze between Hunk and Keith, all plans of teasing Keith wiped from his mind by the crushing feeling of having embarrassed himself yet again. Lance had completely forgotten about Shiro and Allura standing in the elevator with them. He slowly turned towards them as yet another blush went creeping up his face. 

“I have two PhDs,” Keith muttered under his breath next to him. “I’m a doctor, not the research team.”

But Keith was drowned out by Hunk yelling excitedly. “Holy crow! Hi! I’m Hunk! You're Takashi Shirogane! You're one of the coolest Paladin pilots ever!” Hunk jumped forward and shook Shiro’s hand enthusiastically. Shiro smiled back at him with a nod. 

“It’s so cool to finally meet you! Me and Lance have been working on your Paladin for you! _Kerberos Rising_ , back from the dead!” Hunk rambled happily. “This is a lot to process, isn’t it, Lance?”

Everyone’s eyes turned to Lance, where he still stood red-faced beside Keith. Lance mouthed wordlessly for a couple beats, trying to form coherent thought while Shiro gazed at him curiously.

“I- uh, yeah,” he finally managed to force out after an awkwardly long pause. Lance could see an evil grin spreading across Keith’s face out of the corner of his eye. He braced himself as Keith opened his mouth to make Lance’s life a living hell, but thankfully Hunk cut him off.

“Keith,” Hunk stage whispered, “these are other human beings. Time to practice your social skills. Why don’t you say hello?”

“What?” Keith said blankly.

“Introduce yourself to Mr. Shiro,” Hunk said patiently, guiding Keith forward and stepping in front of Lance. Lance took the save for what it was and moved so that Hunk blocked him entirely from Shiro’s sight. He slowly relaxed his fingers so that he was no longer white-knuckling his poor tablet and tuned back into the conversation going on in the rest of the elevator.

“I’m a Galra researcher?” Keith said slowly. He blinked rapidly, like his brain was struggling to switch gears from Lance-torturing to self-introduction. “I mean, I research Galra? And try to find ways to make Galra more deader better?”

Lance felt his face cool down as everyone’s attention turned to Keith’s stumbling introduction. He looked up at Allura to find her looking right back at him, eyes dancing with laughter. Lance huffed sulkily. Was everyone laughing at his starstruck stuttering? Probably.

Allura winked at him with a smirk as the elevator ground to a stop. “Mr. Shirogane, this is us,” she said as the doors rolled open and Keith’s rambling drifted off into an embarrassed mumble. Shiro smiled politely at Keith and walked through the doors after Allura. Hunk reached out and grabbed Lance before he could follow suit.

“You owe me,” Hunk whispered in his ear. “Big time. I totally saved your ass from Keith back there.”

“I know you did,” Lance whispered back. “I’ll add another tally to the favor board.”

Hunk nodded sharply. “Don’t you forget it,” he whispered, then shoved Lance out between the closing elevator doors. “See you at dinner!”

Lance stumbled out of the elevator and almost crashed into a passing technician. He muttered a quick apology, looking around for Allura and Shiro. They were standing a few feet away talking, so Lance took a deep breath and a moment to compose himself before walking over to Allura’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made keith reference star trek am i cool yet? also his phds are in ~~conspiracy theories~~ biology and astronomy
> 
> i misspelled shiros name as shito so many times that i made a shortcut in my ipad bc i got tired of it happening
> 
> still open to feedback and whatnot and a massive thank you to Berserkered and also everyone whos read and kudo'd this


	3. I Am A Paladin Dealer, Fitting You With Weapons In The Form Of Giant Fucking Robots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to meet the gang! Including but not limited to: the tattooed men, black market arms dealers, and two very friendly cats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> live fast die young bad girls do it well
> 
> i tried to remember to description people in this here thing bc they are humans and not aliens so i hope that is successful and if it doesnt work just do what i did while writing it and imagine them as aliens anyway
> 
> jaeger/paladin stats lifted basically word-for-word from the movie bc i am Not Creative

“That’s your research department?” Shiro asked doubtfully.

“Things have changed,” Allura replied with a shrug. “We aren't the army anymore. We’re the resistance.”

“You say that, but you still won’t let me paint Resistance symbols on all the Paladins,” a voice grumbled from beside Allura’s shoulder. Lance had caught up to them.

Allura suppressed a smile as she turned to her young charge with a raised eyebrow. “Star Wars has no place in this Sharknado world that we live in,” she said gravely while Lance mimicked her sourly. Allura heard a small snort from her other side where Shiro stood with a hand hooked in the strap of his duffle. The slight blush on Lance’s face told her he had heard it too.

“I think you just want to stop me from having fun,” Lance replied tragically, tablet clutched soulfully against his chest.

“You can have fun once we save the world,” Allura replied with a smile, finishing their ritual argument by leaning forward and bopping Lance on the nose with her finger. Lance made a mock offended face and batted her hand away.

“But welcome to your new home,” Allura said as she straightened up and turned back to Shiro. She gestured at the massive chamber around them. “The Shatterdome, our castle of lions.”

Shiro spun slowly in a circle, his eyes flicking around the giant space until they landed on the contraption hanging high on the wall over the elevator. It was a series of numbers reading 000:14:35:45. “What’s that?” he asked curiously.

“War Clock,” Allura answered. “We reset it after every Galra attack. It helps keep everyone focused.”

All three of them watched a couple seconds click past in silence.

000:14:35:55.

000:14:35:56.

000:14:35:57.

“How long until the next reset?” Shiro asked softly.

“Since the Galra have begun coming through more frequently, we have maybe two weeks if we’re lucky,” Allura replied sadly. “But my experts believe there will be an attack even before that.”

Shiro stared resolutely up at the War Clock and asked, “Experts as in Keith or experts as in Pidge?”

000:14:36:13.

Allura froze as she heard Lance inhale sharply next to her.

000:14:36:14.

She tried to keep her own breathing normal, and her mind away from Pidge.

000:14:36:15.

“Keith Kogane is one of the world’s most foremost Galra experts,” Allura responded as levelly as she could. “I trust his predictions, and I expect you to extend him the same courtesy.”

000:14:36:23.

Allura met Shiro’s eyes as he turned slowly to look at her. “Understood?”

000:14:36:24.

She and Shiro stared at each other, one hostile and the other probing, while Lance’s eyes jumped back and forth from face to face.

000:14:36:25.

000:14:36:26.

000:14:36:27.

000:14:36:28.

000:14:36:29.

000:14:36:30.

Shiro dropped his eyes and nodded respectfully. “Yes, ma’am,” he said quietly.

Allura nodded curtly, then jerked her chin towards the nearest Paladin and began walking towards it. She needed to keep moving, keep her mind on the tour. She could cry about Pidge later. Lance and Shiro trailed after her as she started to talk. “This complex used to house 30 Paladins in five bays just like this one. Now we only have four Paladins left.”

“I didn't know it was that bad,” Shiro said apologetically.

“Well, it is,” Allura said, coming to a stop in front of the first Paladin in the row. It was pale green all over with a cutesy horned cartoon character painted dancing on the left side of the torso. “ _Arusian Night_ , from China,” she continued. “One of the greatest. Assembled in Changzhou. Full titanium core, no alloys. Fifty diesel engines per muscle strand. Deadly, precise fighter.”

Allura pointed to three Chinese men playing basketball around the base of the Paladin. They all had dark mahogany-colored hair pulled back into two short ponytails and elaborate flowering vine tattoos crawling up their arms, across their backs, and over their legs. Each man’s tattoos were a different color, but the design was the same. They had gotten them after defeating their first Galra. The tallest of the three men also had a rather large knife hanging from his belt.

“There are the pilots, the Klaizap triplets,” Allura said.

“The one with the knife is the youngest. He operates the Paladin’s third arm and coordinates their attack strategies,” Lance piped up.

Shiro nodded enthusiastically as he looked over _Arusian Night_ and its pilots. “Yeah,” he muttered. “They used the triple-arm technique.”

Allura cut Lance a sharp look, but he was studiously avoiding her eyes as he picked at his fingernails. She knew what he was trying to do, to make himself seem more qualified to be a potential copilot candidate for Shiro by talking about piloting methods. But Allura wasn’t going to let him sacrifice himself like that. Not when she had already lost so much to the Paladin program.

“Very effective,” she agreed, still glaring a hole into the side of Lance’s head. He swallowed nervously and remained silent.

Allura lead their little group over to the next Paladin.

“ _Breezer Alpha_ ,” she announced. “The last of the T-90s, a first generation Mark 1. The heaviest and oldest Paladin in the service, but make no mistake, it’s a brutal war machine.” They looked up at the big chunky Paladin in front of them. It had originally been painted black, but large scores and scratches in the plating left the metal beneath exposed. The scarring was the worst around the head, which was streamlined into a heavy anvil shape with the Conn-Pod located in _Breezer Alpha_ ’s chest instead.

“And there’s Rolo and Nyma,” Allura said, nodding at the two people lounging on crates next to the Paladin’s feet. Rolo was wearing an old fashioned aviator cap with goggles over his choppy bleached blonde hair. Nyma had her head covered by her standard pale yellow hijab. “They aren't backed by any country, but they follow the Russian tradition of no escape hatches in their Conn-Pod. Either they defeat the Galra or die trying.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard about them,” Shiro said respectfully. He waved a Rolo with a smile. Rolo grinned and waved back while Nyma blushed and turned away.

Allura huffed a small laugh as Lance grumbled mutinously under his breath. Lance had, much to the amusement of the entire Shatterdome, spent the better part of the past six months trying to get Nyma to go out with him and here Shiro was charming her with a smile and a wave.

“They ran perimeter patrol on the Siberian Wall,” Allura said helpfully. “Under their watch, it remained unbreached for six years.”

She was interrupted by a loud caterwauling behind them. Shiro whirled around quickly, looking around for signs of danger, while Allura and Lance turned toward the sound at a more sedate pace. All three of them watched as two small blurs streaked across the floor of the Shatterdome towards them.

Shiro shot Allura a worried look, which she ignored, and opened his mouth, but the two blurs had already crashed into Lance’s legs. Allura watched out fo the corner of her eye as Shiro’s expression slipped from concern to astonishment as Lance dropped to his knees and set down his tablet so he could pet the two cats that had just careened into him.

“Hello, Voltron,” Lance laughed, running his hand down the body of a chubby calico. He turned and rubbed his face against the other cat’s, a muscular tortoiseshell. “Hello to you, too, Zarkon,” he cooed happily. “How are you two pretty babies doing today?”

Allura kept watching Shiro throughout the encounter. She had seen Lance interacting with cats before many times and knew how mind-meltingly cute it was. Shiro, on the other hand, had no such preparation. Allura fought to hold in a laugh as she watched Shiro’s jaw drop while a blush flooded his face and his higher brain functions began to shut down. A burst of laughter from below drew her attention back to Lance.

He was laughing happily as Zarkon and Voltron double-teamed him for attention. Zarkon was hunched back on his rear legs happily sharpening his front claws on Lance’s jean-covered butt while Voltron walked all over Lance’s tablet, alternating between licking at Lance’s hair and rubbing their faces together.

“No, Voltron, baby,” Lance laughed helplessly, “Don't step on that! I need that!” He tugged ineffectively on his tablet as Voltron planted all four feet on it and purred loudly.

“Oh, you,” Lance chuckled. He turned around and affectionately poked Zarkon in the side. “You gotta take this ass to dinner before you get to do that, precious,” he said happily. Zarkon broke off his clawing to rush forward and ram his head against Lance’s while Voltron purred loudly and butted his head against Lance’s hand.

Only a lifetime of experience kept Allura from squealing and cooing at her son’s actions. Next to her, Shiro had both hands slapped over his mouth trying to muffle those same noises.

Lucky for Shiro, a shout from direction the the cats had come drew everyone’s attention before any particularly embarrassing sounds could slip out from between his fingers. Allura allowed herself a small smirk as she turned towards the source of the shout.

“Voltron, Zarkon!” Shay Javeeno was jogging across the Shatterdome towards them. She was a tall, buff Black woman with curly black hair shaved in a mohawk and large hoop earrings swinging from her ears. Allura smiled warmly at her as Shay came to a halt in front of her.

“Now, now,” Shay said, crouching down beside Lance. “Do not claw up Mr. McClain.” She shot Lance a look of mock disapproval. “This is what happens when you spoil them.”

“Aunt Shay!” Lance said with a cheer. He lunged forward to hug her from his place on the floor while Allura introduced her to Shiro.

“Shiro, this is Shay Javeeno, an old friend from the Mark 1 days,” she said.

“I remember you, sir,” Shay said, reaching out to shake Shiro’s hand while Lance still had her wrapped in a hug. “Have we not ridden together before?”

“That we did, ma’am,” Shiro answered with a grin. “Six years ago, on a three-Paladin team drop.”

“That is right. It was in Manila,” Shay said fondly as she released Shiro’s hand. She pulled away from Lance and smiled sympathetically at Shiro. “I heard about what happened to your partner. I am sorry.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Shiro said with a tight smile.

“Shay and her brother, Rax, will be piloting _Balmera Thunder_ ,” Allura said quickly, hoping to prevent Shiro’s mood from dropping.

“Yes, the light blue one,” Shay said proudly. “She is the fastest Paladin in the world. It has been an honor to have her.”

“First and last of the Mark 5s,” Allura added. “Australia decommissioned it a day before the Sydney attack.”

“They were lucky we were still around,” Shay said with a nod.

“Now it’s running point for us,” Allura said proudly.

“Wait,” Shiro interrupted. “What is _Balmera Thunder_ running point for? Is that part of why I’m here?”

“Ah,” Allura said delicately. “We are going for the Breach. We are going to strap a 2400-pound thermonuclear warhead onto _Balmera Thunder_ ’s back, then take it out there and detonate the equivalent of 1.2 million tons of TNT. You-” she gestured at Shiro, “-and the two other Paladins will be running defense for them.”

“I thought we were the resistance,” Shiro said wryly. “How did the resistance get their hands on something that big?”

“Remember Rolo and Nyma?” Allura said with a smug grin. “They can get us anything. We don't ask, and they don't tell.”

Shiro just blinked in response.

“And Shay and I are needed elsewhere,” Allura said, checking her watch.

“It is good to have you back,” Shay said earnestly to Shiro.

“Thank you, ma’am,” he said warmly.

“I’ll, uh, show you to your Paladin now,” Lance muttered to a spot a foot to the left of Shiro’s head. Allura patted him consolingly on the shoulder and turned with Shay to go meet with Keith and Hunk.

“But, Allura,” Shiro said quickly. “We've hit the Breach before. It doesn't work. Nothing goes through. What changed?”

“Thanks to Mr. Kogane,” Allura answered pointedly, “I’ve got a plan, and I need you ready. That’s all.”

Shiro nodded his assent and followed Lance off to the last Paladin bay to see _Kerberos Rising_. Allura followed Shay over to the elevator. She had scientists to talk to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everything that voltron and zarkon do to lance has been done to me multiple times by my own cat (singular) (he actually did 3 of these things to me while i was typing this chapter) and while i have never been double team greeted by cats (plural) or even a cat (singular) because it was happy to see me and not bc it just wanted me to feed it, i imagine it must be one of the most magical experiences on earth which is why that encounter might have had a slightly surreal quality to it
> 
> also lance with cats is really fucking cute ok i devoted over 250 words to describing lance and cats its so fucking cute and if youve got a problem with that fucking meet me in the comment section bitch cause its fucking adorable and you can fight me
> 
> also [voltron](https://dncache-mauganscorp.netdna-ssl.com/thumbseg/1237/1237753-bigthumbnail.jpg) is a total cuddle slut of a cat like this bitch walks all over keyboards looking for attention and will roll on your newspaper, anything to sit in a lap
> 
> [zarkon](http://petcarefacts.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Tortoiseshell-Cat.jpg), on the other hand is that asshole cat that knocks over drinks just because he can but he also once almost launched an entire shatterdome of paladins by walking on lances tablet while trying to get his neck scratched
> 
> (also re: rolo and nyma and the no escape pod thing, thats true af like russian jaeger pilots go so fuckin hard yall)
> 
> thank you to everyone who's still reading! hope yallre enjoying it!


	4. And I’m Following The Math That Leads To Total Human Eradication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk predicts The End with the power of math. Keith reveals his Extremely Dangerous Plan (patent pending).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUNK MY MAIN HOE ITS YOUR TIME TO SHINE
> 
> ALSO: when i went through and changed the timeframe on this from what it is in the movie, i forgot to change it in the draft of chapter 3 before i posted it so yeah now allura says that the next attack could be within 2 weeks instead of just 1
> 
> if you think it's weird that a mechanical engineer is also doing population calculations you are probably completely right but ive decided that Hunk Likes Math so he can do whatever he wants tbh
> 
> also for those of you unacquainted with christianity, the revelations that hunk mentions is the book of the bible where (from what ive gathered) the world goes to shit and dragons show up at one point

Hunk ran back and forth in front of the massive holoboard he had constructed on one of the walls in the Garrison laboratory he and Keith shared. He muttered snatches of equations and half-formed thoughts as he dragged values and variables through the air and placed them in different equations. A hole in one of the equations almost broke Hunk’s concentration, but with a few quick flicks of his stylus, he sketched out some variables and slotted them into place with a flourish.

There was a long pause as the computer ran through Hunk’s work and filled in all the steps he skipped. When it finished, the computer flashed a blue value across the middle of the board.

“Tada!” Hunk said happily, flinging his arms wide. “I have finally calculated when the world will probably end.”

He turned grandly to the rest of the room to receive his applause. Its only other occupant just raised an eyebrow at him, then went back to unpacking Galra samples in the designated “Galra Goo Corner.”

“Don't look at me with that tone of eyebrow, Keith,” Hunk huffed at him. “I’m literally out-doomsday-ing Revelations here, and you aren’t even impressed!” Not that Hunk wanted to impress Keith or anything. Nope. Definitely not.

“Oh, Hunk,” Keith simpered sarcastically, fluttering his eyelashes and pretending to swoon. “Talk apocalyptic world endings to me.”

Hunk rolled his eyes while his insides turned to mush at Keith’s display. Keith was already way cuter than he had any right to be, but times like this were what made Hunk scream into his pillow in frustration. It was unfair, to expect Hunk to work with Keith like they were just co-workers when he wanted so much more.

Thankfully, Allura walked in with Shay to save Hunk from his mental turmoil.

“What have you boys got for us?” Allura asked. She and Shay looked expectantly between Keith and Hunk.

Keith sat down on a stool and pulled a tray of Galra samples towards him. “I think Hunk should go first,” he said with a smirk. “He knows when the world’s gonna end.”

“Thank you, Keith,” Hunk sighed. He walked over to the holoboard and swept away all the excess calculations and scribbled notes. “If you ladies could step over here?”

“So it's like Keith’s been saying,” Hunk began once Allura and Shay had walked over. “At first, the Galra attacks were clustered in groups about 32 weeks apart, which is like eight-ish months. There would be like five separate attacks then a lull. But then the clusters were coming only sixteen weeks apart, then only eight weeks, then every four weeks. Okay?”

Allura and Shay nodded.

“Good. Well, the last attack in Sydney was only two weeks after the last cluster,” Hunk explained. He began pointing at different parts of the equation in fornt of him. “So I dug up some old papers by that old Galra doomsdayer Keith studied under, Katie Holt or whatever, and I found this system of equations that basically predicted exactly the pattern that we’ve been seeing with the Galra attacks.” Hunk noticed that Allura had gone a bit tense, but didn't stop to wonder why. “Using that same model to predict future events, we could be seeing a Galra every eight hours in as soon as a week, and from there they would just keep coming until it's a Galra every four minutes.”

“Bye-bye humans,” Keith called from his stool.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Hunk said with a nod. “We should definitely have a double event within ten days.”

“What happened to the eight hours in a week?” Shay asked.

“Oh, that was the original model,” Hunk said dismissively. “I went through and adjusted the equations and added in variables the original thesis hadn't considered and fixed a couple errors. Ten days is probably more realistic.”

“Hunk,” Allura said gently. “I’m planning to drop a 2400 pound nuke in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I need a bit more than your equation and a rough guess.”

“Oh,” Hunk deflated slightly. He looked at Keith for backup, but his lab partner just smiled encouragingly at him.

“Well, you know what they say,” Hunk laughed nervously. “Numbers don't lie. There's gonna be a double event. Then a triple event, then a quadruple event, then-”

“We are dead,” Shay supplied helpfully.

“Y-Yeah,” Hunk said, slightly thrown off. “But I do have some good news!”

He lifted his stylus and began sketching lines of light in the air in front of them. “So here’s our universe.” He drew a circle. “And here’s the Galra universe.” Another circle. “And they're connected by this thing called the Throat.” Some dotted lines connecting the circles. “But the problem we’ve had before is when we throw stuff in, it just bounces back out. It's closed.” A slash through the connection between the circles. “Now, we know the Breach is atomic in nature, so with the increased traffic from the events, the Throat will be forced to stabilize and remain open.” Frantic scribbling between the circles. “And then we'll be able to drop your bomb in there and blow it apart.” The holoboard’s computer helpfully added a little exploding animation in the Throat.

Hunk turned to Allura with a large grin. “There. How's that for more than a prediction?”

“Better,” Allura replied. She gave him a small smile, then turned to the other side of the lab. “Keith, what do you have for us?”

“Oh, uh, here,” Keith stammered as he hopped up from his stool. He picked up a tray with two large Galra samples.

“So, uh, we use the category system to lump Galra together because they're all different, right?” he began as he walked over. “Some have legs, some have fins, and none of them are the same.”

Keith plunked down his tray in front of Allura and Shay. “Well, you would expect that to be reflected in the biostructures and DNA, right?”

Allura nodded slowly. Shay sighed and crossed her arms. “Let me guess,” she said. “They are not different.”

“Not only are they not different,” Keith said excitedly, “they're exactly the same! See for yourself.” He pointed at the two samples on the tray.

Hunk had heard Keith’s spiel before, but he still sidled up next to him to look at the samples anyway. Sure enough, the two pieces looked just like each other.

“This sample, we just collected yesterday in Sydney,” Keith said, pointing at the piece on the right. “And this one is from Manila.” He pointed at the piece in the left. “From six years ago. I've got some DNA tests running, but I’m sure that those are just gonna say the same thing: they're identical.”

“And what do you propose we do with this information?” Allura asked curiously.

“I think the Galra are clones,” Keith said eagerly. “That there's more to them and the Breach than we think. How are they all the same? How are they changing and evolving with the same DNA? Does the matching DNA have something to do with the Breach?” He moved to stand next to one of the giant sample tubes Hunk had helped him roll down earlier. A large chunk of Galra floated peacefully inside of it.

“This is a piece of Galra brain,” Keith explained. “We just collected it, so the brain functions are still pretty well preserved. It's a bit damaged, but it's still alive.”

“You have a living piece of Galra in there?” Shay asked sharply.

“It's not connected to anything!” Keith hurried to soothe her.

“You just said there is more to them than we think!” Shay argued. “How do we know it is safe to have that here?”

“Allura,” Keith said, turning to her pleadingly. “It's okay to have it here, I promise.”

Hunk had no idea how Allura didn't crumple immediately when faced with Keith’s begging face. He sure did, no matter what Keith asked him to do. But Allura clearly possessed more resolve than he as she frowned down at Keith.

“I’m sure the Galra brain won't do any harm to us or the Shatterdome from that tank,” Allura said slowly. “But I'm more concerned about the harm it might do to you, Keith. What do you plan on doing with it?”

Keith shifted his weight nervously. Hunk felt his gut clench uneasily. The only time Keith was quiet about his ideas was when he knew no one would agree, but even then he was hard to silence. Whatever Keith was holding back, Hunk knew it was gonna be bad.

“I want to use Drift technology to connect to the Galra brain,” Keith said in a rush.

The rest of the room stood still. No one moved. Hunk could barely bring himself to breathe in the shocked silence.

“You want to drift with a Galra,” Shay said flatly.

“It's not a whole Galra,” Keith protested. “Just a tiny piece.”

“Doesn't matter,” Shay snapped. “The neural surge would kill you.” Keith’s jaw slammed shut with an audible click. Hunk felt his heart rate skyrocket.

“It wouldn't kill him,” Allura hastened to correct. “But the neural surge is too much for the human brain to handle. It would hurt you in ways we won't be able to fix.”

Keith’s shoulders had pulled further and further in on themselves with each word out of Allura's mouth. But Hunk could also see the defiant jut of Keith’s jaw. He would not be giving up that easily.

“I don't agree,” Keith said stubbornly. “Hunk could help me modify the Drift tech to make it work.”

“No,” Hunk said quietly. Keith turned to look at him with betrayal written across his face. “I’m sorry, Keith, but I’m not going to help you take a risk that might get you killed.”

“I’m a biologist and one of the world’s top Galra experts,” Keith snapped. “You guys are acting like I still pull impulsive shit like running out into the middle of Galra battles to try to get samples! I’ve changed. I know what I'm doing!”

“No, you just think you do,” Shay growled.

“Keith, look at me,” Allura commanded. He grudgingly raised his eyes to hers. “We're not saying this because we don't believe you.” She reached out to wrap an arm around Keith's shoulders. “We just don't want you to do something you might not come back from. And drifting with a Galra? No one’s ever done that before. We don't know what will happen. And it's not a risk we need to take yet.”

Keith sighed and shrugged Allura's arm off his shoulder. Everyone waited with baited breath for him to speak.

“Fine,” he muttered eventually. “I won't try to drift with the Galra.”

A ripple of relief swept through the room. Allura and Shay both relaxed, and Hunk let out a huge sigh.

“But,” Keith continued, “if Hunk is right about the double event that’s coming…” He trailed off with a shrug. “I make no promises.”

“I hope it never comes to that,” Allura said gravely.

“Do not underestimate us, little man,” Shay added with a smiled. “We do not go down so easily.”

Keith smiled weakly back at her.

“Hunk, please send your calculations to my office,” Allura said. She smiled at both Keith and Hunk. “Thank you for your time. See you at dinner.”

Hunk turned to Keith as Allura and Shay walked out the door. “I know you just told Allura you wouldn't drift with the Galra, but please promise me that you won't do anything else reckless either,” he said urgently.

Keith blinked up at him slowly. “I-I can't,” he said quietly.

“Please,” Hunk pleaded. “For me. I don't want to lose you.” He stared into Keith's eyes, hoping the other wouldn't read into what he had said and see the feelings that had slipped out with his words.

“Sure,” Keith said, sounding slightly strangled. “For you.”

Hunk felt a giant wave of happiness crash through him. “Thank you!” he cried. He threw his arms around Keith and hugged him tightly. “I don't know what I would do without my lab buddy!”

“Lab buddy,” he heard Keith repeat faintly. “Right. Just a lab buddy.”

Hunk just hugged him tighter and tried to pretend that was all he thought of Keith as. His lab buddy. Right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love me some keith and his found family dynamics like thats some good shit
> 
> plus shito gained a sibling while i was typing this chapter. say hi to shito and shat, the wonder twins
> 
> (should drift still be capitalized when its being used as a verb and not a noun? also pidge uses “katie” as an alias sometimes, im not deadnaming them)


	5. Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secret, secret. They've all got secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> death comes for us all and school is murdering my happiness
> 
> shiro thinks he is Not Great, an opinion not shared by the author, or anyone else in the story

Shiro followed Lance towards _Balmera Thunder_ and the final Paladin in the row. His companion hadn't spoken a word to him since Allura had left. Instead, Lance had shrunk in on himself and steadfastly avoided Shiro's eyes as they walked.

Shiro examined Lance curiously as he adjusted the duffle bag over his shoulder. Lance was almost as tall as him, but long and lanky where Shiro was a brick shithouse. He was also dressed in casual wear, like the two scientists from the elevator had been, in a baggy green jacket-and-hoodie combo and jeans rather than the uniform Allura wore or the jumpsuits most of the technicians were running around in. And he still had his tablet clutched to his chest like a lifeline. Shiro opened his mouth to ask about it, but a passing technician was waving and running up to them, drawing Lance’s attention instead.

"Hey, Lance!" the technician called. "Jess said you were coming down!"

"She gossips too much," Lance yelled back.

The technician came to a stop in front of Lance and flipped up the welding helmet he was wearing. "She said you had a surprise with you," the smiling Asian man continued eagerly. He didn't seem to notice Shiro standing a few feet behind Lance.

"What surprise?" Lance said, face scrunching up in confusion. "I'm just showing Sh-Shiro-," his face turned slightly pink, "- _Kerberos Rising_."

"Shiro? Who? Why's he get to see _Kerby_?" the technician asked quickly.

"Hi," Shiro said with a small wave. The technician's eyes snapped up to his face.

"Oh," the man gasped. "That Shiro." He stepped forward so he could whisper in Lance's ear, eyes still glued to Shiro's face. Whatever he said, Shiro couldn't hear, but it made Lance jerk backwards and smack him with the tablet.

"I hate you," Lance hissed, but the man just chuckled happily.

"Have fun with the rest of your tour," the technician said with an exaggerated wink. He turned to Shiro. "Nice meeting you, sir."

Shiro nodded in return to the man's mock salute and watched him run away again.

"I'm sorry about that," Lance mumbled. “The rest of the Shatterdome’s gonna know you're here by dinner now.”

“I don't mind,” Shiro replied. Everyone kept talking about dinner. What was the big deal about it?

"By the way, we're here," Lance continued. He raised his arm and pointed above their heads.

Shiro's eyes followed Lance's finger up to see _Kerberos Rising_ looming over them. He craned his head back and smiled up at the giant Paladin.

 _Kerberos Rising_ had truly been returned to her former glory. The armor had been painted a deep green color and both arms had been seamlessly restored. The Conn-Pod gleamed from where it was nestled between the massive shoulders. Sparks flew around the legs and lower torso as technicians made last minute adjustments and calibrations and fitted on the final plates of armor.

Shiro's eyes slid over the familiar curves and edges of his old Paladin, memories of his first time seeing it floating through his mind.

_“Why is the vent in its chest? Doesn't that make it completely vulnerable?” “I'm sure Pidge knew what they were doing when they designed it, Matt.”_

_“Those arms turn into plasma cannons? Are you sure?” “I'm not, but Pidge’s engineering degrees are.”_

_“Your sister is a genius.” “I know.”_

The Paladin looked just like Shiro remembered her, with the exception of the large pink video game character painted across her chest.

“Kirby?” he asked, looking at Lance with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Lance winced. “It's what the techs call her. It was a joke. We can paint it over.”

“Nah,” Shiro laughed. “I think it's funny. You can leave it.”

“Oh, thank God,” Lance sighed. “The techs love that thing. They probably would've cried if you wanted to take it off.”

Shiro snorted softly. “She looks great, don't worry. Did you guys change anything else?”

“Well, Hunk did most of it,” Lance mumbled. “But yeah, we made her one of a kind now.”

“She always was,” Shiro said with a smile, looking back up at the Paladin.

“Yeah,” Lance muttered. “As you can see, the outside is, um, mostly the same. But we revamped the internal systems. Well, Hunk did. Here, I can show you.”

Shiro pulled his eyes away from the Paladin towering over them and looked at Lance. Lance was holding his tablet horizontally while it projected a miniature hologram of _Kerberos Rising_ without its protective armor above the screen.

“Where did you get that?” Shiro asked, amazed. Allura’s unsanctioned operation seemed to have more technology than most sci-fi movies.

“Hmm? Oh, my mom and Hunk made it,” Lance said proudly.

“Smart woman,” Shiro murmured.

“They are,” Lance nodded. All traces of his earlier nerves and blushing vanished as he talked about his family and friends. He flicked his fingers around on the tablet and began to talk. “The main change that we made to _Kerberos Rising_ is that she now has a double core nuclear reactor.” The hologram expanded into just the Paladin’s chest and began flashing different parts of the reactor. “Hunk designed it all by himself. He even got a couple patents out of it, too,” Lance continued happily.

Shiro whistled softly. “That all?” he asked.

“Nah,” Lance said, doing more tricks with his hologram, making the whole Paladin reappear and more sections flash. “She’s got solid iron plating now. No alloys, just pure iron. There are 40 engine blocks per muscle strand and a hyper-torque driver for each limb plus a new fluid synapse system.” Lance paused and wrinkled his forehead. “But you’ll have to ask Hunk if you want to know more about that last part. I’ve got a general idea of what’s going on, but all I really know is that he was really excited and wanted me to tell you about it.”

“It’s ok,” Shiro laughed, clapping a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “I have no idea what it means either.”

Lance froze for a heartbeat, then swallowed and pulled away from Shiro’s hand. “Uh, there’s one more thing before we’re done,” he stammered.

“Lead on,” Shiro said with a nod.

“This way,” Lance replied. He lead Shiro towards a stairwell built into the wall opposite _Kerberos Rising_. Shiro looked up the wall to see a series of large windows stretching across it, around shoulder height on the Paladins. There were also two railed walkways built into the wall below the windows with people swarming along them.

Shiro and Lance climbed the steps and stepped out onto the higher of the two walkways. Lance guided Shiro through the stream of people and into a doorway set under one of the windows. From there, Shiro followed Lance down a dim hallway and up a short flight of stairs into a large bustling hallway. Then, Lance grabbed Shiro’s hand and pulled him along the wall to a large reinforced steel door.

Lance punched his elbow into a large button set in the wall next to the door. The door groaned impressively, then swung slightly open. Lance forced the arm holding his tablet through the gap between the door and wall and heaved it open a few more feet until it was barely wide enough for Shiro to fit through. Lance tugged Shiro through the gap, then dropped his hand and turned to push the door shut.

Shiro scanned the room around him. It appeared to be the control room for one of the Paladins. Shiro glanced out the floor-to-ceiling windows on the far wall and realized that it was the command center for _Kerberos Rising_. A handful of technicians were looking back and forth between monitors and alternating between calling test results to each other and giving commands into headsets. And standing in the center of the organized chaos was-

“Coran?” Shiro gasped. Sure enough, the man in question turned towards Shiro with a massive grin.

“Shiro, my boy!” Coran cried happily. “Where did they dig you up?”

“Alaska,” Shiro said with an answering grin. “It’s good to see you here.”

“I’m glad to see you here as well,” Coran said, striding over to Shiro and ruffling his hair affectionately. Coran’s face became grave and he peered earnestly into Shiro’s eyes. “I was worried about you. We all were. Five years is a long time.”

“I know,” Shiro sighed. “But by the time I got my head back together, it just didn’t seem important anymore.” Wrong. He had chosen to run away from his past and try to muffle the memories of Matt in the snow and wind. It hadn’t worked.

“Ah, well,” Coran said graciously. “Let bygones be bygones. Are you here to see the new operation?”

“Yeah,” Shiro answered. Coran was letting him off easy, and Shiro appreciated it. “Lance just showed me the work you’ve done on _Kerberos_.”

“Me? I haven’t done much,” Coran said dismissively. “It’s been mostly Hunk and Lance.”

“You built the entire communications array from scratch,” Lance called sarcastically from where he was leaning against the wall. “But yeah, that’s nothing.”

“Hush, you young whippersnapper,” Coran said, flapping his hand at Lance. “You and your insubordination are interrupting our work.”

“Ok, Coran,” Lance said with a laugh. “I’ll let you get back to dramatically looking out the windows. See you at dinner.” He turned and began the process of reopening the large door into the hallway. Shiro said goodbye to Coran and followed Lance back out into the hustle and bustle of the Shatterdome.

This time, Lance lead him away from the crowded hallways around the landing deck and Paladin bays. Soon, they were walking through empty hallways and silence fell around them.

“So what’s your story?” Shiro asked conversationally. He had been curious about this young man that Allura trusted with so much. “How does someone like you end up restoring old Paladins and showing old has-beens around?”

“You’re not an old has-been!” Lance said angrily, glaring at Shiro. Shiro raised an eyebrow, and Lance blushed and dropped his eyes to the ground.

“Sorry,” Lance mumbled. “Just, y’know, people say things, and you’re, like, my hero, and I just-”

“I’m your what?” Shiro interrupted, flinging out his right arm and pulling Lance to a stop. “What did you say?”

Lance’s face flushed even darker and he refused to meet Shiro’s eyes. “I said you’remyhero,” he muttered quickly.

“W-Why?” Shiro asked, stunned. Who would consider a wash-out like him a hero? He’d gotten one taste of real danger and loss, and he’d turned tail and fled. What was admirable about that?

Lance still wasn’t looking at him, but at least he was speaking clearly now. “I mean, I had to study you to assess your copilot candidates because the simulations only tell so much. And the psych evals from after your last mission were, frankly, bullshit. So I had to go into the databanks for logs of your battles and talk to people who worked with you and I heard so much about you beyond that whole ‘Lost His Copilot But Kept Going’ thing the media used to go on about and like, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re really great and you were a big inspiration for me wanting to become a Paladin pilot even before I found all about you and yeah,” Lance trailed off uncertainly, face still beet red. “You’re my hero.”

“Oh,” Shiro said quietly. He could feel his own face growing a little warm. He released Lance and blinked. “That’s-oh.”

“Sorry if that was a bit much,” Lance muttered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and tapping his tablet anxiously against his thigh.

Shiro’s brain finished processing everything Lance had said. Something at the end jumped out at him, so he blurted out the first question that came to mind to break the awkward silence that had fallen between them. “Are you gonna be one of the copilot candidates?”

“No,” Lance said unhappily. “But I wish I was.”

“Why not?” Shiro asked. “What’s your sim score?”

“Fifty-one drops, fifty-one kills,” Lance said shyly. “But Allura has her reasons.”

“What reasons?” Shiro cried. “With a score like that-”

“I hope you approve of my choices tomorrow,” Lance interrupted firmly. “Your room is the last door on the right. Dinner is in the mess hall in an hour. See you there.” And with that, he bolted off back down the hallway, leaving Shiro alone with his duffle.

Shiro sighed and walked down the hall towards his new room. Lance was a very confusing person, but he had the potential to be a great copilot. He just needed to talk to Allura about him.

Alone in his room, Shiro pulled off his jacket and t-shirt with a sigh of relief. His clothes were no longer soaked, but it was still nice to be free of the remaining clingy dampness. Shiro unpacked his meager belongings from his duffle and picked up a dry shirt. He shook out the empty bag over his bed, and an old flip phone fell out of one of the pockets.

Shiro picked it up and stared at it. Pidge had sent it to him after he left the Garrison in a care package with a letter offering him their help, support, and forgiveness. He had carried the phone with him ever since.

And speaking of Pidge, he should probably let them know that he wasn't in Alaska anymore. Pidge would probably also like to hear about his new Paladin pilot status, if they didn’t know about it already.

Shiro sat down in the bed with a huff. He held the dry t-shirt in one hand and the flip phone in the other. With a sigh, he set the t-shirt on the bed next to him and opened the phone. He hadn’t charged it in several months, but he pressed the power button anyway. Surprisingly, the phone flickered on and displayed 29% battery.

Shiro smiled helplessly at the phone in his hands. Pidge had always had the ability to make technology survive extraordinary things, like his knack for losing chargers and backup batteries. Pidge’s number was the only one saved, so Shiro pressed speed dial and held the phone up to his ear.

Pidge picked up on the second ring. “Holy fuck, Shiro,” they said by way of hello. “Why do you still have that old piece of shit?”

“I find it very relatable,” Shiro replied wryly. “We old pieces of shit need to stick together.”

“Hey, don’t do that,” Pidge snapped. “You’re not old, and you’re not shit.”

“Sure feels like I am,” Shiro sighed.

“I know,” Pidge agreed morosely. “I feel it, too.”

There was a long pause. Shiro ran his bionic hand through his hair and sighed again.

“Allura found me,” he said quietly.

“We knew it was coming,” Pidge said in defeat. “What does she want?”

“Well, she asked me to come back to the Garrison. Hinted that she had _Kerberos Rising_ again,’’ Shiro answered. He groaned and rubbed his hand down his face. “ And I kinda said yes.”

Pidge didn’t say anything for a long time. “Where are you?” they finally asked.

“Hong Kong Shatterdome,” Shiro said shortly.

“And does she have _Kerberos Rising_?” Pidge asked quietly.

“Yes,” Shiro said sadly. “They must have gotten their hands on your original designs or something because _Kerberos_ looks just like she used to.”

Pidge muttered something to themself that sounded like “Lance” and “old journals,” then raised their voice so Shiro could hear. “How much longer do you think they’ll be working on her?”

“She’s almost completed,” Shiro answered. “They’re testing me for copilots tomorrow morning.”

“Already?” Pidge asked incredulously. “Damn, she’s moving fast.”

Shiro hummed in agreement.

“Well, lucky for you, I’m in the area,” Pidge said to Shiro. “I’ll get a new phone to you tomorrow. Call me again tomorrow night and we can talk more.”

“Alright,” Shiro said, nodding. “TTYL.”

“That’s not how you use that!” Pidge shouted through the speakers. Shiro laughed and hung up on them with a smile. Pretending to misunderstand text speak and slang around Pidge was one of the few joys he had left in the world. And with the way things were looking, he wouldn't have the chance to abuse that power for much longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i,,,,,,,,,, did not enjoy writing this chapter,,,,,,,,, it was tedious af to write but i hope to god its not tedious to read,,,,,,,, just had to get all this out of the way so we can get to the good stuff
> 
> reasons i shouldnt write while tired #248476390: yall hardcore almost saw coran refer to the shatterdome as the ‘new crib’ but then i took a nap and realized what a terrible idea that was
> 
> also i make shiro raise his eyebrow alot. he seems like an eyebrow-raising person to me idk.


	6. Both Of Us Knowing, Love Is A Battlefield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance swings by Allura's office for some chill time. It doesn't end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A LIGHT HAPPY FLUFF CHAPTER I SWEAR ft. more bad spanish
> 
> also its a bit shorter than usual bc whos got motivation when schools up your ass

Lance slipped into Allura's office and glanced around. His mother was alone, diligently working on what looked like inventory and budget plans. Those weren't particularly difficult for her, so Lance knew she wouldn't mind him hanging out until it was time for dinner.

He flopped into one of the chairs in front of Allura's desk with a sigh. His conversation with Shiro had echoed around his head the whole way back to the main part of the Shatterdome. His questions and comments had been pushing into dangerous territory, giving Lance tiny flickers of hope and threatening the promise he'd made to himself long ago.

Lance licked his lips nervously as he stared at Allura's bowed head. He had told her he wanted to be a Paladin pilot once when he was 19. She had shut him down immediately, panic lacing her words and fear in her eyes. He heard her crying later that night when she thought he was asleep. Lance had sworn to himself that he would never ask her about piloting ever again.

He started working in the research wing of the Garrison soon after. Allura had let him go through sims and training exercises under the guise of investigating the pilot psyche when he asked, but they had come to the unspoken agreement that he would stay on the ground and out of a Paladin.

And now Lance was considering throwing all that to hell because Takashi Shirogane had asked if he was a copilot candidate. Lance took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "So I finished showing Shiro around," he began nervously.

"I noticed," Allura said absently. "How did that go?"

“I took him up to see Coran after Kerby- I mean, Kerberos Rising,” Lance corrected himself hurriedly. “They seemed happy to see each other.”

“Speaking of Kerby,” Allura said, looking up from her work with a grin, “How did Shiro like that little addition?”

“Oh, God,” Lance groaned. He flung his arms over his face and whined loudly. “I thought they were going to paint it over! I told them they could put it there because I didn’t think he would ever see it!”

“They actually were going to cover it,” Allura said happily. “But I told them to leave it.”

“Why would you do that?” Lance cried, jerking upright to stare at Allura in horror.

“I knew he’d like it,” Allura replied confidently. “He told you to leave it, didn’t he?”

Lance gaped at his mother in astonishment. “You what?” he sputtered indignantly. Allura just smiled serenely at him and returned to her work.

Lance stared at her for another minute before groaning again and leaning back in his chair. He couldn’t believe Allura would set him up for embarrassment just for shits and giggles. Actually, no. He could believe it. His mom was cool like that. She just hadn’t had the chance to let that side of herself out recently. So much of her time had been devoted to the Paladin program ever since- Lance shook himself and quickly pulled his thoughts away from the past. No need to make himself upset right before dinner.

“What was that?” Allura asked, her voice pulling Lance out of his head.

“Hmm?” Lance replied, still slightly disoriented from his almost trip down memory lane.

“You looked upset,” Allura explained. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh,” Lance sighed. Allura had caught his change in expressions. Looked like there was gonna be no avoiding painful topics for him tonight. But he could at least try to play this to his advantage. Maybe finally get himself into a Paladin Conn-Pod.

He looked over his shoulder, through the open door and out into the large room beyond it. Most of the horde of secretaries who staffed the long rows of desks had already left for dinner, but there were still quite a few running around with memos and typing on computers. Lance turned back to Allura and shifted forward so his elbows rested on his knees and his hands clasped beneath his chin.

“ _Shiro me preguntó acerca de mis resultados de la simulación_ ,” Lance said quietly. He knew Allura would want this conversation to be private, but Spanish was the best he could do on short notice. Only a thankfully small number of people in the Shatterdome were fluent enough to eavesdrop on them, and none of those people where in the room outside. “ _Me preguntó si yo era un candidato de copiloto_.” [“Shiro asked me about my simulation scores.”; “He asked me if I was a copilot candidate.”]

“ _¿Qué le dijistes?_ ” Allura said sharply. [“What did you say?”]

“ _Dije no_ ,” Lance said quickly, “ _Pero_ -,” [“I said no.”; ”But-”]

“No,” Allura said icily. “ _No haga caso de cualquier cuento chino que el te dijo. No sabe de qué habla._ ” [“Ignore whatever cock-and-bull story he told you. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”]

“ _¡Él no me dijo nada!_ ” Lance shot back. “ _iEsto de mí!_ ” [“He didn’t tell me anything!”; “This is from me!”]

“ _Pides a arriesgar tu vida por alguna fantasía de héroe temerario_ ,” Allura snapped. [“You are asking to risk your life for some foolhardy hero fantasy.”]

Lance’s head jerked backward at Allura’s harsh words. “ _Si es tan temerario, ¿por qué gasta tu tiempo en eso?_ ” he spat back. [“If it’s so foolhardy, why do you spend your time on it?”]

“I already said NO!” Allura yelled, slamming her hands down on her desk and jumping to her feet. Lance flinched at the loud bang and crumpled back into his seat, body curling protectively into itself. Allura’s eyes widened, and she hurried around her desk to crouch down in front of Lance.

“ _Ya he perdido a tu madre a estos malditos robots_ ,” Allura whispered softly, gently running her palms up and down Lance’s arms before pulling him into a hug. “ _No quiero perderte también_.” [“I’ve already lost your mother to these damn robots.”; “I don’t want to lose you, too.”]

“Yes, Estrallura,” Lance whispered as Allura brushed his bangs back and pressed a kiss to his forehead, then walked out of her office. Once he was sure the room outside was empty, Lance staggered through it and out into the hallway. He didn’t want anyone to see him cry as he ran away from the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and to think i thought the LAST chapter was hard to write..... that one was like ripping off duct tape. this one was like pulling teeth with rusty pliers
> 
> like i rewrote the ending like 30 times before dumping like 800 words of work and just posting what you see here like kill me this sucks
> 
> and this chapter is like even less self-beta'd than the past ones have been so lmk if you see some iffy shit in there


	7. Cause Every Time We Bond, I Get This Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is late for dinner. So late that he doesn’t even show up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAYYYYYY GUESS WHO’S BACK and also 3000000 years late to hoping on the soul eater train? thats right me. like not that soul eater is the reason this chapter didnt happen. that was writers block, college apps, and just general lack of motivation
> 
> this chapter features hints at random keith and lance backstory that definitely didnt exist before i started writing chapter 6, that i then forgot, and then remembered when it came time to write this chapter
> 
> also i know the tag says “ORIGINAL side characters names jess” but like forgive me if you know where i highkey ripped off female jess from,,,,,,, i was thinking abt what jess could be short for and then shit just happened idk forgive me

Lance never missed dinner.

Come hell or high water, nothing would keep him from arriving in the mess hall just in time to flirt and joke his way through the dinner line before Allura made the daily announcements.

And the fact that he wasn’t there was making Keith nervous.

Keith craned his neck, trying to see over the crowded mass of the mess hall. When he still couldn’t spot Lance, Keith pulled himself up onto the table and stood, looking around again. Lance was nowhere in sight.

“Dude, what’s up?” Hunk asked curiously as Keith slid off the table and back into his seat. Hunk was sitting across from Keith at their usual table with Jesminder-the-flight-controller on one side and Jess-the-Paladin-technician on the other.

“Lance,” Keith said briefly, nodding at the empty space next to him where Lance usually sat.

“Oh, yeah,” Jesminder frowned. “Where is he?”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Keith said wryly.

“Would it have something to do with Shiro?” Hunk asked. “Is he still touring him around?”

“Nah,” Jess said from where he was stuffing his mouth with mashed potatoes. “Lance took Shiro through pretty quickly from what I saw. Think he went off to Allura’s office after.”

“Maybe he came in with her?” Hunk offered hopefully.

“She came in alone 10 minutes ago,” Keith said, shaking his head. “She looked upset, too.”

“Really?” Jesminder asked. She pushed herself up to scan the crowd for Allura. “She doesn’t look upset anymore. She and Shay are showing Shiro how to work the food goo machine.”

“Mashed potatoes still aren’t food goo,” Jess sighed into his bowl.

“Whatever,” Jesminder said dismissively, dropping back into her seat. “He was fine when I saw him earlier. Did anything happen when you guys saw him?”

“He’s head over heels for Shiro,” Keith said offhandedly. “But nothing that would make him skip dinner.”

“Nothing wrong when I saw him either,” Jess added with a nod.

“This isn’t good,” Hunk groaned. “That means something happened with him and Allura. He would have come in with her if he went to her office like Jess said.”

“Are you sure about that?” Keith asked urgently. 

“Yeah,” Hunk sighed sadly. “They probably fought about something, and he’s off licking his wounds somewhere.”

“Then I know where he is,” Keith said briskly, pushing himself to his feet. 

“Where?” Jess asked curiously, but Keith just shook his head in response. It wasn’t his secret to tell. 

Hunk pushed over his tray. “Here, take him this so he can eat. I don’t want to get woken up at 2 AM because Lance wants me to help him break into the kitchen for food.” 

Keith nodded and picked up the tray. He headed out of the mess hall without another word, ignoring the questions the Jesses threw after him and Hunk’s worried eyes until he escaped into the empty hallways of the Shatterdome. 

From there, he wove his way back to the Paladin bays and into a small abandoned maintenance hallway behind one of the many empty bays. Halfway down the hallway, Keith found the rickety service elevator that lead up to the top floor of the Shatterdome. It was abandoned and mostly used for storage now, but Lance and Keith both used the access hatch to the roof whenever they wanted some privacy.

Sure enough, the small dial above the elevator doors indicated that the carriage was up at the highest level. Keith reached out and pushed the button to call the elevator. It made an obnoxious ding as it descended, and Keith winced. He hoped Lance wouldn’t hear the sound and run away before Keith could get to him.

The elevator finally ground to a halt and the doors ponderously slid open. Keith stepped into the carriage. The row of buttons next to the door were dusty and faded except for the highest and lowest levels, which were still shiny and smooth from use. Keith pressed the top button and settled in for the ride.

\---

When it reached the top floor, the elevator’s doors slid open with a quiet ding. Keith picked himself and the tray of food off the floor and stepped out onto the top floor of the Shatterdome. The elevator doors had opened onto a massive empty area full of shadowy towers of forgotten boxes and dust covered machinery, all the walls of the floors below gone in favor of a single low-roofed room stretching across the entirety of the top floor.

The only light in the room came the open elevator and a row of dusty skylights. Keith let the elevator doors slide closed behind him and paused to let his eyes adjust to the faint moonlight spilling in from the skylights overhead. He hadn’t brought a flashlight and his phone was still sitting on his table in the lab, but he didn’t need them. He knew the way through the stacks.

Keith wove through the room until he came to an open hatch in the ceiling with a chain link ladder hanging down from it. He carefully balanced Hunk’s tray in one hand and began to climb the ladder. Once at the top, he poked his head out of the hatch and looked across the flat expanse of the roof.

Lance was sitting a couple yards feet away with his back against one of the broken vents littering the roof and his legs spread out in front of him. He was staring morosely up at the sky and randomly flicking a flashlight in his lap on and off.

Keith pulled his torso all the way through the hatch and set the tray on the roof before tumbling the rest of his body onto the roof in a quick roll. Lance didn’t even blink as he continued playing with the flashlight.

Keith picked up the tray again and walked over to sit down criss cross applesauce next to Lance.

“I heard the elevator ding,” Lance said glumly. Keith pushed the tray into his lap without a word and leaned back against the vent.

“Hunk send this?” Lance asked. He lifted the tray to move the flashlight out from underneath it, then set it back down.

“Yeah,” Keith replied. “He’ll be upset if it doesn’t come back empty.”

“I thought that was my line,” Lance muttered and began picking at the mashed potatoes.

Keith snorted. “Not when you’re the one skipping dinner, it isn’t.” It had been a long time since Lance had needed to chase down Keith with a tray to make sure he was eating, but that didn’t mean Lance was going to let him forget it.

“I wasn’t skipping!” Lance said indignantly. “I just,” he paused, “lost track of time.”

“Sure you did,” Keith said sarcastically, letting his head roll back against the vent behind them.

“Hey!” Lance yelped. “I totally did!”

“Whatever, dude,” Keith sighed. He got himself comfortable and began picking out constellations in the starry sky.

There was a long silence only broken by the sounds of Lance scrapping the mashed potatoes into a mound and squashing them back out with his fork.

“Me and Allura had a fight,” Lance said quietly.

Keith let his head loll to the side and looked at Lance stubbornly staring down at the tray. “You don’t have to tell me,” Keith said gently. “Hunk’ll be more than willing-”

“Hunk won’t understand,” Lance interrupted. “He’s only known me since I joined the Garrison. He wasn’t there before like you were.”

“Well, he certainly knows you better than I do despite that,” Keith said with a self-deprecating laugh. “He figured out you and Allura had fought the moment I mentioned you were late to dinner.”

“Oh, he did?” Lance said, deflating. “Does anyone else know about it?”

“No,” Keith assured him. “Just me, Hunk, and the Jesses. And Allura, I guess.”

“Oh,” Lance repeated. He finally raised his eyes from the mashed potatoes and shot Keith a look. “That why you knew I was up here?”

“Yep,” Keith replied, popping the “P.”

“Is Hunk about to climb through that hatch after you?” Lance sighed.

“No,” Keith said confidently. “I didn’t tell them where you were. Hunk just gave me the tray because he’s nice like that.”

“How do you know no one followed you?” Lance cried. Keith just gave him a flat look in response.

“No, seriously,” Lance insisted. “Do I need to find a new hiding spot?”

“No, announcements were just about to start when I slipped out,” Keith answered, turning his head back to look up at the stars. “Don’t worry, your secret emo side is safe with me.”

“Shut up,” Lance laughed, shoving Keith with his shoulder. “You were the scene kid, not me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Keith grinned, tracing the stars of Leo with his eyes and gently pressing his shoulder back against Lance’s. “I’ll make sure your Panic! At The Disco concert tees know that.”

“Shut up,” Lance muttered again, still grinning. He leaned into Keith for a second, then straightened and began eating the contents of Hunk’s tray in earnest.

“You are going to have to make up with Allura before tomorrow, though,” Keith said quietly. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Lance said with a defeated sigh. “Copilot tests. Wonderful. Just the thing we were arguing about.”

“Really?” Keith said, looking at Lance in surprise.

Lance nodded and shoved a forkful of food into his mouth. 

“Why?” Keith asked curiously. “Does she have a problem with the candidates?”

Lance shook his head, and pointed at himself with the fork while swallowing quickly. “Shiro asked if I was gonna be a candidate. Allura didn’t like that when I told her.”

Keith whistled quietly, impressed. Lance had confided in him about his piloting aspirations before his first confrontation with Allura, back when he was 19 and Keith had been 18. After Lance had come back frazzled and shaking, they had agreed he should never mention piloting a Paladin to Allura again.

“Yeah,” Lance snorted. “I was pretty proud of myself until she brought up Pidge.”

Keith winced in sympathy. “How’d that go?” 

“‘I already lost your mother to those blasted robots. I’m not losing you too,’” Lance quoted with a grimace.

“Damn,” Keith muttered. “That’s harsh.”

“Yeah,” Lance nodded. “There were a few manful tears shed when I got up here.”

Keith furrowed his brow and reached out to awkwardly pat Lance on the shoulder. Lance shot him a thankful look and went back to attacking the food. “It’s fine, I promise. The only reason I’m still up here is Pidge told me they were sending a package tonight. Seemed like a bit of a waste to go back down only to come right back up.”

Keith nodded and turned back to face forward. The vent that Lance had chosen offered them an excellent view of the Hong Kong skyline in addition to the clear sky. Keith trailed his eyes over the lights and towers of the city until he spotted one light that had separated from the others and began a bobbing trajectory towards the Shatterdome. He nudged Lance and pointed it out.

Lance nodded and dumped the now empty tray and fork on the ground. He hopped to his feet and strode to the edge of the roof, Keith only a few paces behind. They stood in silence, waiting for the light to draw closer.

After a while, the light resolved itself into the angular shape of one of Pidge’s Rover messenger bots. It was about the size of a mailbox and large enough to hold a small package. When it finally flew to a halt in front of Lance, a tiny projection from the front facing light sprang to life.

“Voice authentication required,” the Rover beeped as Lance’s face formed out of the light in front of them.

“Lance McClain,” Lance said clearly, and the Rover beeped again before folding open and falling into Lance’s outstretched arms. Lance reached into the Rover and pulled out a thin package with “Shiro” scrawled across it in Pidge’s blocky engineer’s handwriting. He passed it to Keith and pressed a button on the side of the Rover to reactive it and return it home.

Keith squinted at the package in the light from the Rover. “Why is Pidge sending a package for Shiro?” he asked. “And how does Pidge even know Shiro is here?” 

“I’ve learned not to question Bird Mom when it comes to things like that,” Lance said with a laugh.

“I was their student,” Keith responded wryly. “My job was to question them.”

Lance chuckled and released the Rover to fly back towards the city. “Let’s go get that tray and head inside.”

“Why?” Keith asked with a smirk. “Had enough bonding?”

 “What bonding?” Lance answered flippantly, referencing an old joke of theirs. “Hurry up, we don’t wanna get caught out here after curfew.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> engineers handwriting is basically sloppy blocky all caps handwriting, and its exists bc the ppl who use it’s handwriting is completely intelligible if they dont (just like the self-beta job on this fic lmao)
> 
> still a massive thanks to everyone who hasnt lost faith in this story yet…. lets hope the next chapter doesnt take as long eh


	8. This Is The Place Where Nothing Interesting Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro gets settled in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter we delve into the first instance of not real, totally made up by the author, obviously fake science. hair can get shocked white now yall.
> 
> if you dont get ‘thinking straight’ its bc keith was talking abt hunk. and yes. i HAVE been waiting to use that for a very long time.

Shiro walked into his new room and sat the bed with a sigh. Dinner had gone about as well as could be expected. He had managed to find his way to the mess hall using his memories of the Anchorage Shatterdome layout, but Allura and Shay still had to help him through the dinner line and show him how all the new food machines worked. Shay's brother, Rax, had glared at him from across the hall the entire time, but when he asked Shay about it, she had told him not to worry.

After dinner, he had decided to use his free time before curfew to wander around the less crowded hallways of the Shatterdome. It had been a nice walk, reliving fond memories of his times with Matt, sneaking out at night and getting caught on their way back in, until Shiro found himself walking towards the entrance to the medical wing. The sight of the bright industrial lighting and the faint smell of disinfectant had nudged unpleasant memories, so he had quickly turned into one of the dimmer side hallways and made his way to his room.

Now Shiro sat with his head in his hands, tugging gently on the shock of white hair over his forehead. It was a physical reminder of how he had lost Matt, and he had picked up the habit of tugging on it during his time in the Garrison psych ward.

The sound of laughter coming down the hallway outside his room pulled Shiro out of his thoughts. He straightened and looked towards his open door as the laughter separated into two voices.

“-really said that? Oh my god, Keith!” Lance’s voice drifted through the door.

“Yes! I did! I wasn’t thinking straight!” Keith protested, quickly followed by Lance bursting into laughter again. “Why are you- what did- Oh, shut up!”

“Thinking straight,” Lance wheezed breathlessly, still laughing.

“I will leave you here,” Keith’s voice threatened.

Shiro stood up and walked to the door. He looked curiously into the hallway and saw Lance propped against the wall three doors down from his own. Lance was laughing while Keith stood with his arms crossed, blushing faintly and trying to look unimpressed.

“You guys ok?” Shiro called, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe.

“Yeah,” Keith grumbled, turning towards him. “Lance is just an idiot.” His eyes landed on Shiro, and he paused. “Hi, Shiro.”

“Hi,” Shiro said back, smiling slightly. Next to Keith, Lance’s laughter had died out as he spotted Shiro. He pushed himself to his feet, swaying slightly and leaning on Keith for balance. Keith shrugged him off and continued talking to Shiro.

“That your room?” he said curiously, jerking his chin towards Shiro’s door.

“If it’s not, I’m in big trouble,” Shiro said with a laugh. “I’ve already moved my stuff in.”

“Huh,” said Keith pensively, looking back at Lance. “Interesting.” Lance’s eyes snapped up to meet Keith’s, and whatever he saw there made his own grow wide. He shook his head minutely, clearly trying to convey something to Keith without Shiro hearing.

Keith smiled serenely at Lance, clearly ignoring what he was trying to say. “I didn’t know that we put guests in the science corridors,” he said sweetly. Lance’s eyes managed to get impossibly wider

“Science corridors?” Shiro asked. He frowned in confusion. “I thought these were all residency?”

“They are,” Keith assured him with a smirk. “But usually we group people together by their specialty. That way, if there’s an attack at night, everyone is already organized. The technicians are together, the pilots are together, and everyone who isn’t essential is out of the way. In the science corridors.”

“Am I nonessential now?” Shiro replied with an answering smirk.

Lance gave an indignant squeak and shook his head furiously. “No, no! I-”

“You must be,” Keith interrupted with a dramatic sigh. “There’s no other reason for you to be here with us instead of in the pilot section.”

“Here with you, eh?” Shiro said, grinning broadly. He couldn’t see where Keith was going with his comments, but whatever the reason, it was worth it to see Lance’s floundering.

“Yes,” Keith replied with his most shit eating grin yet. “Here with us. Right across from Lance.”

“Shut up!” Lance hissed, blushing furiously. He shoved Keith, unbalancing him. Shiro started forward to help, but Keith gleefully pulled Lance into a headlock

Keith murmured something sounded like “Who’s thinking straight now?” into Lance’s ear, before releasing him and pushing him towards Shiro. “Goodnight, Lance,” he said cheerfully. “And sweet dreams!”

“You suck,” Lance mumbled, righting himself and walking to the door across from Shiro’s. “I hope you swallow a spider.”

“Thanks,” Keith said, blowing him a kiss and pushing open the door next to Lance’s. “G’night, Shiro.”

“G’night, Keith,” Shiro responded. Then, because Keith was probably due some ribbing, too, “It was nice to talk to you when you aren’t tongue-tied.”

Keith rolled his eyes and ducked into his room, pulling the door shut behind him.

Shiro turned to say goodnight to Lance, only to find Lance had already vanished into his room. Shiro shrugged and walked into his own to finish his nightly routine.

He brushed his teeth in the small sink in the bathroom attached to his room and then stripped off his shirt. The seam between his prosthesis and his shoulder was acting up again, so Shiro pulled out a jar of ointment Pidge had sent him to help with the irritation. He had just finished applying it when there was a knock on his door. Shiro flipped a towel over his shoulders and went to answer it.

Lance was standing in the hallway, tapping a small package nervously against his thigh.

“Yes?” Shiro asked.

“Hi, Shir-oh,” Lance stopped, staring at Shiro’s chest. Shiro shifted awkwardly, uncomfortably aware of the scars from the drivesuit etched across his torso and left arm. The towel he’d grabbed was covering the worst of it, but he still felt exposed under Lance’s gaze.

“Can I help you?” he prompted after a long pause.

“Yeah, you can,” Lance breathed, before shaking himself and blushing. “I mean, um, sorry, uh, I have something for you.” He thrust a package into Shiro’s face and glanced away. “It just came in.”

Shiro gingerly removed the package from Lance’s grip and flipped it over. Sure enough, his name was scrawled over the front in familiar handwriting. “Thank you, Lance,” he said with a smile. “Will you be delivering all my mail, or just this one?”

“That’s a, uh, special delivery,” Lance said, not meeting Shiro’s eyes. “Most mail comes in through the mailroom. This was, um, special circumstances.”

Shiro nodded slowly. Seeing as it was from Pidge, it made sense that the package hadn’t arrived the normal way. But what did Lance have to do with it? Shiro thanked him anyway and went to close the door.

Lance nodded and blushed, stumbling backwards to his own door. Shiro watched him go with a faint smile. Once Lance’s door had closed behind him, Shiro let his own swing shut and ripped open the package. Tucked inside was the sleek smartphone Pidge had promised him before dinner, along with a charger and a note threatening all sorts of unpleasantness should he lose it.

Shiro folded the note back up with a chuckle and tucked it into the pocket on his duffel. He plugged the phone in and finished getting ready for bed. There was a long day of pilot testing ahead of him tomorrow, and he needed all the rest he could get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that entire section abt why shiro is in the ‘science corridors’ is bc i cannot come up with any good reason for why the fuck raleigh would be assigned a room that just HAPPENED to be across from makos other then she put him there on purpose
> 
> also instead of the iconic peeping mako scene, yall got whatever the fuck that was. sorry.
> 
> and massive thanks to everyone still reading this. yall the mvps. and the next chapter is gonna come way faster, i promise for realzies this time, like its partially written already
> 
> (added translation creds the the notes on the 1st chapters thanks guys!)


	9. He's Holding Out For A Copilot Til The End Of The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura has some hard times ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY FUCK THIS IS A LONG CHAPTER SO THERES A LOT OF NOTES THATS JUST WHO I AM I LOVE TO TALK IM SORRY
> 
> apparently the sunrise in hong kong at the time pacrim takes place (january) is at 7, but i moved it to 6, like that literally has no bearing on the plot whatsoever but the more you know
> 
> SO I WROTE THE FIRST SCENE BEFORE S2 CAME OUT AND OH MY GOD IM SO HAPPY THEY INCLUDED ALLURA ACTUALLY FIGHTING IN IT I WAS SO HAPPY
> 
> also we head back into like. real plot territory. gotta open that transcript back up to make sure im not skipping Important Things (which i have already done whoops. gonna add that stuff back in at a different part). also this is lowkey a double whammy chapter. sorry not sorry.
> 
> keep your mind out of the gutter readin shiro and lances fight scene. i did my best but theres only so much i can avoid. esp when im talking abt wooden staves. but also my fight descriptions are highkey super handwavey so that shouldnt be too much of a problem

Allura stood alone in the center of the Shatterdome’s gym listening to the distant echo of the rest of the base waking up. She was dressed in a loose top and yoga pants instead of her normal uniform, breathing gently as she watched the dust motes floating through the early morning light. She stretched slowly and wrapped her hair up in a large bun.

There were mats laid out to form one large area on the floor, left over from exercises the day before. Allura slid off her sneakers and bent down to pick up the wooden staff she had retrieved from the equipment room. She took a deep breath and stepped into the center of the mats.

Allura closed her eyes. She dropped into a crouch and flipped her staff into a two handed grip. Her sleep had been fitful and restless, memories of Pidge bouncing around her head well into the night. Once the sun had begun to rise, Allura had dressed and slipped out of her room to the gym. Alone in the large room, she finally let her thoughts and emotions turn to the part of her past she had kept so tightly locked inside of her.

Slowly, eyes still closed, Allura began moving, twirling and swiping the staff through the air. Her movements began lazy and loose, broad sweeps around her body as her mind summoned images of Pidge from their days together at the Academy. Happy, bright memories of laughter and smiles, kisses stolen between library stacks, and lazy days in the sun.

Allura’s strokes became quicker, tighter, more precise, as she danced around the mat, fighting with the laughing image of Pidge smiling behind her eyelids. In her mind, Pidge’s smile grew tense, exhaustion and time creeping over their features. Gentle affection turned to anger and pain, fear and hopelessness hidden behind harsh words and raised voices.

Scared blue eyes blinked out from a grimy face, and Allura’s breathing quickened. Finding Lance had brought peace, but not for long. Pidge had been too stubborn. They both had been.

Allura’s movements changed, morphing into targeted attacks against an imaginary opponent. She ducked and dodged, weaving around the mat, never once stepping off. Her eyes were still firmly closed, but tears clung to her lashes as she whirled her staff through the air. She grunted and growled, letting her emotions pour out into her movements.

Sweat poured down her body as Allura’s thoughts turned to the day before. Shiro’s comments and Lance’s pleading eyes ricocheted through her mind, causing her to falter in her rhythm.

She stumbled, but Pidge’s voice echoed through her mind. “Getting slow, little lady?” they whispered with a chuckle. Allura sighed, feeling a phantom brush of Pidge’s hand against her cheek. She turned her face into it, longing for the familiar touch, but it vanished.

Allura let out a single, heart wrenching sob, then hurled herself back into motion. Her staff blurred, whistling as it plunged through the air. She spun around the mat, her mind racing with conflicting memories. Her breathing grew short, feet flickering as she moved, body and mind whirling faster and faster until, with a resounding CRACK, the spell was broken.  
  
The end of Allura’s staff had shattered from a crushing blow to the mat, breaking her out of her reverie. Allura stood, chest heaving, staring at the splintered end. She slowly let the rest of the staff fall to the mat and straightened.

Her hair had begun to fall out of its tight bun. Allura blew a few errant strands out of her face and reached up to wipe the remaining tears from her eyes. Her nose was running slightly from the crying, but she had brought tissues to take care of that.

She had just finished blowing her nose when a noise from the hallway made her jump and spin towards the entrance of the gym.

Lance was frozen halfway through the door, clearly on his way out of the gym.

“Lance?” Allura asked softly. “What are you doing here?”

“Playing hide-and-go-seek?” he said nervously.

“Lance,” Allura said sternly, stepping off the mats and walking towards him. “Why are you here?”

Lance slowly pulled the door shut and turned to face Allura. “I was going to say sorry,” he said in a rush, “but, you’re clearly busy, and I have things to do, so I can just come back-”

“Lance,” Allura interrupted, coming to a halt in front of him. He stopped talking and stared at the floor. “I’m never too busy for you. What is it?”

“I, um, wanted to apologize. For yesterday,” Lance said haltingly. “What I said about piloting. I- I didn’t want to upset you. I just got carried away by meeting Shiro. I wasn’t thinking, I’m sorry.”

Allura exhaled slowly. She reached out and placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder, squeezing it gently. “It’s alright, Lance,” she sighed. “It wasn’t just you. I had other things on my mind as well, and I overreacted. Some other people had already mentioned P-Pidge,” her voice caught on the name, “and I was worked up from that. Then you mentioned piloting, and I lost control of myself. I should be the one apologizing to you.”

Lance’s head snapped up. “No, I shouldn’t--” he began, but Allura cut him off with a gentle shake of her head.

“I’m sorry, Lance,” she said with a small smile. He stared at her for a few heartbeats, mouth working wordlessly, before lunging forward and hugging Allura tightly.

“Well, I’m sorry, too!” Lance insisted, the faint wobble in his voice muffled by her shoulder. Allura chuckled softly and brought her arms up to hug Lance back.

They stood there, just holding each other, until Lance took a deep breath and pulled back.

“Thanks, Mom,” he whispered.

“Thank you, too,” Allura whispered back, reaching up to place her hands on either side of Lance’s face. She gave him one final smile and patted his cheek gently. “Now, let’s go get breakfast before someone finds us in here crying like a bunch of old nannies.”

Lance snorted went to stand by the door. Allura returned to the matts and collected her tissues. She pulled her sneakers back on and walked over to Lance. Together, they walked out of the gym to breakfast.

\---

“Four points to zero,” Lance called, swiping another profile off the screen of his tablet.

Next to him, Allura sighed. They were in the Kwoon Combat Room, testing Shiro with Lance’s candidates. Allura and Lance were standing on a slightly elevated platform on one end of the room watching while Shiro and the candidates faced off on the mats covering the rest of the floor. They fought barefoot with wooden staves, trying to land hits on each other.

Lance’s reaction to the idea of watching Shiro sweat it out on the mats had been humorous at first, but by now, even his flustered enthusiasm had tapered off into listless indifference. Allura herself was fighting to keep her focus from straying away from the matches in front of her. Watching Shiro easily defeat his opponents had very quickly grown monotonous.

They had been testing for hours, but none of the candidates had been able to keep up with Shiro. Only one candidate had managed to land a hit on him, and even then, Shiro had still won. Allura did not have high hopes for the rest of the group.

She nodded for the next candidate to step onto the mats. Ten seconds later, Shiro had brought them crashing to the ground.

“One point to zero,” Lance called. He made a mark on the candidate’s profile.

Shiro and the candidate separated and reset their stances. This time, Shiro attacked first.

“Two points to zero.”

Reset. The candidate shifted anxiously on the balls of their feet, off balance and unsure.

“Three points to zero.”

Shiro helped the candidate up off the ground with a kind smile. Reset. The candidate didn’t even bother to defend themself.

“Four points to zero,” Lance called slowly. He swiped another profile off his screen. Allura heard him echo her earlier sigh. She signaled for the next candidate.

“No, stop,” Shiro said, holding a hand up to stop the next opponent.

“Yes?” Allura said testily. “What is it?”

“I don’t know,” Shiro said, irritation lacing his words. “Ask Lance.”

“Excuse me?” Lance squawked, eyes snapping up from his tablet to stare at Shiro. “What?”

“At the end of every match, you make this face,” Shiro sighed, mimicking it comically, “like you aren’t satisfied with what you’re seeing.”

“He personally selected these candidates, and you haven’t matched with any of them!” Allura said indignantly. “I should think he has every right to be unsatisfied!”

“No, it’s not that,” Shiro said, eyes drilling into Lance’s. “It’s almost like he’s critical of their performances. Why would he be critical if he selected them himself?”

Allura frowned and turned to look at Lance. Lance was staring levelly back at Shiro.

“It’s not their performances I’m critical of,” Lance said calmly. “It’s yours, Shiro.”

Shiro blinked in surprise, his irritation quickly replaced by confusion. Allura felt much the same.

“You could have taken down all of them two moves earlier than you did,” Lance continued. “You aren’t trying to connect with any of them. You’re just playing with them, hoping that Allura will give up and send you back to where she found you.”

There was an angry grumble from the beaten candidates who had hung around to watch the rest of the matches. Shiro twitched, a guilty expression flickering across his face.

“You think that’s what I’m doing?” Shiro asked cautiously.

“I know it is,” Lance replied confidently. Allura stared at him in wonder. How could he possibly know Shiro’s abilities well enough to realize he was holding back? This had been the first time Lance had ever seen Shiro fight outside of a Paladin.

Allura looked back over to Shiro. He was nodding slowly, staring assessingly at Lance.

There was silence for a few seconds before Shiro seemed to make up his mind about something. He nodded briskly and turned to the candidate who had been about to step onto the mats. Shiro stuck out his hand, and after a few moments, the candidate passed him the staff she was holding. Shiro turned back to Allura and Lance and grinned challengingly.

“How about we change this up?” he said. Shiro held out the staff in his right hand, prosthetic shimmering dimly under the lights. “Let Lance try.”

“No,” Allura said immediately. “We’re using the candidate list we already have.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “Because that’s been going so well for us,” he said dryly.

“Silence,” Allura commanded. “Only candidates with Drift compatibility will be tested.”

“Which I have,” Lance whispered, soft enough that only Allura could hear.

“Lance,” Allura whispered resolutely, “this is not just about a neural connection. It’s also about physical compatibility. There needs to be a balance between you, not one overpowering the other.” That’s where she and Pidge had started to fall apart.

“I know!” Lance whispered back. “I had to consider all that when I picked these people, remember? I can do it!”

Allura took a deep breath, readying her next argument, when Shiro spoke.

“What’s the matter, Marshall?” Shiro asked, drawing out her title with a smirk. “You don’t think your best is good enough?”

All logic vanished from Allura’s mind. Her eyes locked on Shiro’s face. He smiled innocently at her.

“Kick his ass, Lance,” Allura said without an ounce of hesitation. No one who doubted Lance ever came out on top. Shiro would be no exception. 

Allura held out her hand to receive Lance’s tablet as he stripped off his jacket and undershirt. Lance placed his clothes in a messily folded pile by the edge of the mats next to his shoes while Allura used his tablet to pull up his profile. Sure enough, Lance had filed out all the information on his own hypothesized compatibility with Shiro. Allura smiled slightly. Looked like he was about to find out how accurate his data was.

Allura scanned Lance’s profile and looked up at the room in front of her. Lance had finished going through some rudimentary stretches and was standing on the mats across from Shiro. When Allura met his eyes, he smiled comfortingly at her and picked up his staff.

Allura watched nervously as Lance’s posture straightened and his focus zeroed in on Shiro. The two fighters nodded formally and walked past each other to opposite sides of the mats.

“Four strikes marks a win,” Allura announced into the silence that had fallen across the room.

“Don’t hold back,” Lance said cheekily, flipping his staff into the air and catching it as he fell into an open stance. He was holding the staff in one hand, held down and away from his body, leaving his front and side exposed.

“Oh, I won’t,” Shiro promised. He lunged forward and swung his staff around, stopping it inches away from where it would have collided with the side of Lance’s head.

Allura felt her heartrate spike terribly. If Shiro hadn’t stopped his swing, Lance could have been seriously hurt. The slight panic in Lance’s eyes showed he had thought the same.

“You left your side open,” Shiro said conversationally, staff still hovering next to Lance’s face.

“I hadn’t noticed” Lance replied easily, then knocked Shiro’s staff away and spun his own around in a two handed grip to hover right in front of Shiro’s face. Allura could see that if he’d continued with the swing, he would have smashed Shiro’s face in.

“One-one,” Lance said smugly and stepped back, adjusting his grip on the staff.

Shiro quickly slapped his staff against Lance’s side before he moved out of range. “Two-one,” Shiro corrected, smirk playing around his lips. “Pay attention.”

“I am,” Lance huffed, and pulled back to put distance between himself and Shiro. He moved his hands to a wider grip on his staff and adjusted his stance.

Shiro watched him curiously, staff held close to his body.

Lance looked up at Allura and winked. And then he moved.

Lance hurled himself forward, staff swinging in a confusing blur in front of his body. Shiro swung towards his head and their staves met with a clash. The two men brought their staves cracking together again and again until Lance ducked under one of Shiro’s swings, darting under his guard and hooking the end of his staff around Shiro’s ankle.

“Oh, fuck,” Shiro muttered, right as Lance yanked his leg out from under him and brought Shiro crashing face first into the mats.

“Two-two,” Lance panted triumphantly, gently prodding the back of Shiro’s head with the end of his staff. “Not so fun now, is it?”

Shiro laughed softly and jumped to his feet. An uneasy feeling settled in Allura’s stomach as Lance and Shiro circled each other on the mat. The length of their match was a clear indicator of their compatibility. Lance’s victory only furthered that by showing his ability to read and anticipate Shiro’s moves and adapt his strategy.

Lance was a perfect candidate. Allura swallowed around her suddenly dry throat.

On the mat, Lance and Shiro had lunged towards each other again. Allura watched closely, trying to figure out the pattern to their movements. There was a vague sense of familiarity itching at the back of her mind, but she couldn’t place its origin.

Allura felt a rush of pride as Lance dodged a particularly fast strike from Shiro and unbalanced him with a swift counterattack. That feeling of pride was not to last. The sense of familiarity came crashing over Allura in full force, and her breath caught in her throat.

She knew what was so familiar about the fight. She knew it with a certainty that made her blood run cold.

Lance was fighting using the same moves that had been dancing through her mind in the gym that morning. He was using the same quick steps and sudden attacks that she had fought against for so long. He was fighting like Pidge.

Allura barely kept herself standing straight as the realization overwhelmed her. She stepped forward to stop the fight right as Lance knocked Shiro’s staff aside and brought his own swishing to a halt right between Shiro’s eyes.

“Three-two,” Lance said breathlessly, chest heaving. The large crowd of onlookers that had joined the candidates watching from the entrance to the room burst into applause, cheering and shouting Lance’s name. Shiro was grinning broadly at Lance, not even angry that he had lost for the second time in a row. Allura needed to stop this.

“Enough!” her voice cut through the cheers. Everyone fell silent, and Lance and Shiro turned to face her. “The testing is over. I’ve seen what I need to.”

“Me too!” Shiro said happily. He wrapped an arm around Lance’s shoulders and pulled him close. “He’s my copilot.” Lance’s eyes were almost bugging out of his head, cheeks slowly flushing as he turned hopeful eyes to Allura.

“No,” she said icily. “That won’t happen.” The hurt and disappointment flashing across Lance’s face was nothing compared to the writhing monster of fear and desperation rising in her chest. She would not lose Lance. He needed to stay in the Shatterdome, safe from the dangers of the Drift.

“But, Allura-” Shiro began, frowning in confusion.

“No,” Allura interrupted. “My decision is final. You will meet your copilot tomorrow morning. Come to the Shatterdome after breakfast.” She swept through the room and out into the hall without another word.

Lance started after her, calling her name, but the crowd that had parted to let her through closed around him, trapping him in the entrance to the combat room. She could feel his betrayed gaze on her back until she rounded a corner and vanished from sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LANCE IS ACTUALLY FIGHTING LIKE ALLURA BUT WHEN PILOTS HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR AS LONG AS ALLURA AND PIDGE WERE THEIR STYLES ARE THE SAME AND SO ALLURA SAW PIDGE WHEN SHE WAS REALLY LOOKING AT HERSELF AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH I BROKE MYSELF WITH THIS SAVE ME
> 
> ngl i loved writing the beginning part so much but it doesnt read the way i want it to so oh well
> 
> i would die for allura to be happy tho like no lie
> 
> WHO DO YOU WANT TO HEAR FROM NEXT? HUNK OR LANCE? THERE ARE TWO THINGS THAT GOTTA HAPPEN AT LIKE THE KINDA SAME TIME BUT IDK WHICH TO DO FIRST
> 
> also i love everyone whos still reading you are my favorites


	10. Hey Baby, Won't You Look My Way, You Can Be My New Copilot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens in the Kwoon Combat Room stays in the Kwoon Combat Room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, holding my writing up by the corner: i hate this
> 
> also apparently prosthetics cant be worn 24/7 or else the arm like Rots, but tbh if im gonna pull shit like ~it can interface with giant robots and also his mind uwu~ i might as well go for gold i already wired this bitch into his nervous system mama aint raise no pussy i aint backing out now

Lance stood in the doorway to the Kwoon Combat Room as the crowd of spectators dispersed around him. He stared down the hallway after Allura’s retreating back, his heart pounding in his ears. She said no. Allura had given him hope, then snatched it away.

A couple of the beaten candidates brushed past Lance, patting his shoulders and murmuring sympathetically. He gave them a couple of empty smiles and turned away from the door.

Lance looked down at his blue cat socks and sighed. He should have expected this. This was how it had always been, ever since he was 19. Allura would let him go through the training and participate in pilot sims, and even step up as a copilot candidate, but she wouldn’t let him anywhere near the Drift and a drivesuit. Being Shiro’s copilot had been his last hope.

“I think we could do it,” a voice said softly. Lance jerked up to look around, shaking off his gloomy thoughts and blinking in confusion. Shiro was standing with his back to Lance in the middle of the room, looking down at his hands.

“What?” said Lance blankly. He stared at the back of Shiro’s head as he mentally scrambled to figure out what Shiro meant and stubbornly not let his eyes drift any lower.

“I think we could be partners,” Shiro said, a bit louder than before. He straightened, turning slightly towards the door, and Lance couldn’t help but notice the shift of scars over the muscles on the left side of Shiro’s body. “We could pilot _Kerberos Rising_ together.”

“Ah,” Lance said delicately, licking his lips nervously. “There’s just one problem there.”

“I know Allura said no-” Shiro began, finally turning to look at Lance.

“Exactly,” Lance said, cutting him off. He walked past Shiro and bent to pick up his jacket. “Allura said no. Her decision is final. She- You’ll find someone else.” 

“But there isn't someone else,” Shiro said insistently. “The Drift only works if the pilots are compatible. Everyone knows that, Allura more than anyone else.”

Lance inhaled sharply. Was he talking about what happened with Pidge?

"Lance, I'm not saying this lightly. After what happened to Ma-” Shiro's voice faltered,”-my last partner, I swore I would never get in a ConnPod ever again. I wouldn't be pushing this if I didn't think it was the right thing to do. You saw how I was with the other candidates. None of them stand a chance with me. If we want to defeat the Galra, it needs to be us."

Lance swallowed nervously. Shiro had been staring at him very intently throughout his speech, slowly stepping closer and closer to Lance. They were barely a foot apart now, and Lance was finding it very hard to focus on Shiro's words and not how close he was standing.

“Well, well, well,” a voice drawled from the hallway. “What do we have here?”

Lance jumped away from Shiro and looked towards the door. “What do you want, Rax?” he asked with a frown when he saw who was standing there.

“Can I not check in with my favorite nephew?” Rax asked innocently, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed. “I heard about what happened, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“‘Uncle’ is just a nickname, Rax,” Lance said warily. “And you never check in on me.”

“Now, that is not true,” Rax said, slightly offended. “I checked in on you after-”

“Correction,” Lance interrupted, “you never check in on me without an ulterior motive. Why are you here?”

“Maybe I wanted to meet the newest addition to our cause,” Rax said calmly, brushing off Lance’s accusation with a shrug. “Meet the man who will be running defense for Shay and me.”

“Oh,” Lance said shortly. He stepped around Shiro to gesture between him and Rax. “Rax, this is Takashi Shirogane. Shiro, this is Rax Javeeno. He copilots-”

“ _Balmera Thunder_. With Shay,” Shiro finished with a smile. He held out his hand to shake. “An honor to meet you.”

“Sure,” Rax said rudely. He ignored Shiro’s extended hand, arms still folded over his chest.

Lance felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Rax had been one of the more vocal critics of Allura’s plan to bring Shiro back into the Paladin program. He thought _Kerberos Rising_ should have been given to a pair of pilots from the Garrison ranks instead. The fact that he had sought out Shiro did not bode well for the rest of the conversation.

“How long has it been since you last piloted a Paladin?” Rax asked. Lance grit his teeth and opened his mouth to tell Rax to shut up, but Shiro was already speaking.

“Five years,” he said calmly, adjusting his posture to mirror Rax’s. “Give or take a few months.”

“And what have you been doing all that time?” Rax continued obliviously.

“Construction,” Shiro said levelly. “It’s been a growing field recently.”

“Wonderful,” Rax drawled scornfully. “When we hit trouble, you can build us out. You are just the man we want piloting a Paladin.”

“Hey,” Lance snapped. He was by no means a short person, but Rax and Shay both dwarfed him in height and stature. He glared up into Rax’s eyes anyway. “If you’ve got a problem with him, take it to All- the Marshall. Leave Shiro out of it!”

“No, no,” Shiro said, holding out an arm to stop Lance. It was his prosthetic. Lance saw Rax’s eyes flick to it for a moment, then jump back up to Shiro’s face. “He can tell me what his problem is. Why shouldn’t I pilot _Kerberos_?”

“Because,” Rax spat, “you are Pentecost’s bright idea. She and Shay both believe that you will be able save the Paladin program and help us finally win the war. But they are both ignoring the truth: Pilots like you are the reason the Paladin program started to fail. The Galra did not get too powerful, the pilots got too weak. Anyone with a best friend and a dream thought they could save the world, just like you and your old partner!”

Shiro’s body twitched slightly, his free hand dropping to his side and curling into a fist. Rax didn’t notice, snarling angrily as he advanced towards Shiro and Lance.

“And everyone knows how that turned out! Now you think you can do it all again? Jump into a Paladin with the first person who ‘clicks’? It did not work last time, and it will not work now. When you and your new partner are not ready by the time the next attack comes, I will drop you like a sack of Galra waste and leave you to die. There is no room for failure anymore. You already wasted your second chance running away 5 years ago. The man before me is living on borrowed time, and I see no reason to trust him in this fight.”

Rax was almost nose to nose with Shiro by the time he was finished. They glared into each other's eyes for a long moment, Rax’s heaving chest and a subtle tick in Shiro’s jaw the only movement in the room.

Eventually, Rax snorted derisively, spun around and marched out of the combat room. Neither Shiro or Lance spoke as Rax’s footsteps echoed off down the hallway.

“So now you’ve met Rax,” Lance said into the heavy silence. He carefully lifted Shiro’s hand off his chest and sighed sadly. “He usually isn’t this bad, but he’s scared just like the rest of us.”

“I know fear,” Shiro said shortly. Lance looked over at him in concern. Shiro’s entire body was vibrating with energy, his eyes blazing with anger now that Rax had left the room. “That was not a frightened man who just walked out the door.”

“Yeah, but right now, he’s the best we’ve got,” Lance replied, reality crashing back in as he remembered Allura’s ultimatum from earlier. “I’m sorry, I- I have to go.” He scrambled past Shiro to grab his shirt off the floor and shove his feet into his shoes and hurry out the door.

As he ran down the hall, he thought he heard the sound of metal crunching against cement.

He needed to find Hunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this your local dumpster fire telling you to listen to come from away it made its broadway debut like yesterday i love it
> 
> also like 50% of my thoughts re: this fic is like exclusively pidge and allura backstory and like 90% of it is just …… never gonna show up…… smh @ me you and like 2 other ppl are the only ones who care abt that
> 
> also always ily if youre still reading and lemme know if i messed anything up


	11. Truth Of The Matter Is It's Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance finds Hunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, frantically rereading my own fic to remember how i characterized interpersonal relationships
> 
> hunks holoboard interface is hardcore inspired by tonys workshop/jarvis in the marvel movies so make of that what you will
> 
> you can thank bruno mars circa 2010 for the fact that i was able to focus enough to actually finish this

Hunk was alone in the giant lab he shared with Keith.

Technically, he had been the only one assigned to the space when the Paladin program had relocated to Hong Kong, but the next day Keith had walked in looking for help analyzing some data and never walked out.

Now, their notes and projects sprawled across every available surface in an indistinguishable mess. Lance complained about the disorder every time he visited, but Hunk liked it.

There was a soft chime and the image of an envelope popped up and began rotating somewhere in the vicinity of Hunk’s ear. He grunted absently and blindly batted at the hologram over his shoulder, waiting for the holoboard sensors to pick up the signal from his smart gloves.

“Yeah, yeah,” Hunk grumbled, carefully rotating the holographic model of _Breezer Alpha_ floating in front of his face. “I’m sure you’re very important. Bet you even have words like URGENT and TIME SENSITIVE in all caps in the subject line too. But that’s just too bad. Everything around here is URGENT and TIME SENSITIVE, you’ll just have to go sit with everyone else!”

Finally, the holoboard registered his random flapping gestures and fired the little envelope through the air and into the image of a file folder, displaying little confetti explosions and “Score!” animations around it for a few seconds before everything dissolved in a shower of pixels.

Hunk reached into the hologram in front of him and carefully pulled out a knee joint and the thick wires connected to it. He slid the original hologram to the side and blew up the joint and started flicking away tiny pieces of holographic shielding until its inner workings were exposed.

“Where’s that report Coran sent me?” Hunk continued muttering absently to himself. “He said that diagnostics was returning issues with balance and stability, and I think I know what the problem is. I just need to know what readings they got during the stress tests.” He pulled the glove in his right hand off with his teeth and pulled his stylus out from behind his ear. The gloves were specially designed to interact with his holoboard, but he needed something a little more precise for fiddling with joint models.

The glove swung comically from Hunk’s mouth as he reached up to access the most recent diagnostic report. Variables and conditions began scrolling down in columns across Hunk’s line of vision, his verbal stream of conscious garbled by the glove between his teeth but still going strong.

“Vis is ve fecond time we’ve repaced dis part in av many fights, an’ I fink Wolo an’ Nyma are doing vis on purpose,” Hunk grumbled around his glove. He tapped a few values in Coran’s report and routed them through the holoboard’s simulator, using his still gloved left hand to rotate the model as he did so. “‘Ow do ‘u ower-stwess a Pawadin join’?” He used the stylus to adjust the placement and shape of a few of the joint’s mechanisms. “We witerawy use ve toughes’ awwoys on ve panet! An’ vey bwoke it! ‘Ow?”

He paused to shove the dumb end of his stylus into the corner of his mouth and finagle his right hand back into the glove hanging from his teeth. Hunk tapped the fingers together in a pinching motion to reactivate the sensors in the fingers. He grabbed the data from Coran’s report and tossed it off to the side, then grabbed the hologram of the Paladin joint from above and below and began bending and rotating it experimentally. A new column of figures popped up next to the hologram, fluctuating as Hunk manipulated the rendering.

Hunk inhaled angrily, ready to launch into another tirade, but he was interrupted Lance exploding through the door of the lab with Voltron and Zarkon hot on his heels.

“Hunk, holy fuck-” Lance began, but Hunk cut him off.

“Lance, no-!” he cried, stylus dropping from his lips, right as Zarkon spotted the active holoboard and sent himself hurtling through the air. Lance’s eye widened in horror, and he lunged forward to grab the cat, but it was too late. Zarkon landed on a nearby table, then heaved himself into the air again and descended through the projections in a very blinding but otherwise anticlimactic burst of refracted light.

Hunk and Lance both flung their hands up to protect their eyes, and Voltron wailed pathetically from behind the lab table he had crashed into. Zarkon landed on the ground in an ungainly heap, then sprung up to renew his attack on the dancing lights, but the holoboard had already shut down.

“Get. That. Cat. Out,” Hunk ground out, praying that his adjustments to the Paladin joint had been saved before Zarkon’s interruption.

Lance swore loudly and scrambled across the lab to grab Zarkon around the middle. “Shit, I’m sorry, Hunk,” he said as he unceremoniously dumped Zarkon in the hallway and shut the door against the cat’s protesting howls. “I completely forgot he did that-”

“Don’t worry,” Hunk said brusquely. He walked over to the control panel of the holoboard and started coaxing it through the reboot and recalibration cycle. “ _Breezer_ ’s left leg joint is acting up again. I was trying to figure out how we can fix it permanently now that I’m not working on those Galra predictions anymore.”

“Do you need to see my mom’s notes again?” Lance asked, scanning the papers scattered across the lab tables. “Since you probably lost the other copy I gave you.”

“Oh, I didn’t lose it,” Hunk said confidently. “It’s right over there next to that Holt thesis you found.” He turned away from the control panel long enough to point at a table in the middle of the room. Lance shot him a doubtful look and began moving towards it. Hunk shrugged, looking back at the control panel and typing in a quick series of commands.

“I’m offended,” Lance said from behind him. “I’m offended on behalf of every organized person ever.” Hunk heard the shuffling noises of papers being lifted and flipped through. “And the Holt thesis is here, too! Hunk, I really hate you right now.”

“Huh? Why?” Hunk said in confusion, stepping back as his holoboard slowly powered up, displaying a bouncing lion logo as it loaded.

“This!” Lance cried angrily. Hunk looked over to see him gesturing at the room with disgust written all over his face. “How can you two be such utter slobs but still know where everything is! Haven’t either of you ever heard of file folders before in your lives?”

“Yes, we have, Lance,” Hunk said with a smirk. “We just don’t need them.”

“You don’t- How- Hunk!” Lance mouthed wordlessly at Hunk.

“Don’t think about it too much,” a voice said from the doorway. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

“Keith!” Hunk said with a cheer, smiling over the pang in his chest. Keith had been MIA the entire day without a word to Hunk, and now he showed up just to make fun of Lance?

“Hey, Hunk,” Keith muttered, refusing to meet his eyes.

Hunk felt his heart drop a little further. Why wouldn’t Keith look at him? “Where have you been all day, man?” he demanded. “I didn’t see you at breakfast or lunch, and you haven't been in the lab today either.”

“I’ve, uh, been working on something,” Keith said slowly. Lance and Hunk shot each other looks and rounded on Keith as one.

“What kinda something?” Lance asked suspiciously.

“None of your business,” Keith snapped. “I’ll tell you when it’s finished.”

“Keith,” Hunk said slowly, concern creeping into his voice as his mind flashed back to Allura’s ultimatum and the stubborn set of Keith's shoulders. “Does this have anything to do with what happened yesterday?”

Keith shifted his weight nervously. His eyes skipped around the room, not focusing on anything and avoiding Hunk and Lance as he stammered, “I- No! It- I’m-”

“What happened yesterday?” Lance cut in sharply, eyes narrowing.

“Keith knows what I'm talking about,” Hunk said ominously. Now wasn't the time to explain, he needed to make sure Keith wasn't doing anything dangerous.

At his words, however, Lance’s entire posture changed. The hard lines and narrowed eyes slid from his face to be replaced with a knowing smirk and a raised eyebrow. His hands dropped to his waist as his weight shifted back onto one leg, hip popping out ridiculously.

“He knows, does he now?” Lance said in that smug and dangerous tone of voice that meant teasing about Hunk’s totally-not-a-crush-on-Keith was sure to follow.

Hunk felt the back of his neck heat up and almost buried his head in his hands, only stopping himself when he remembered the gloves he was still wearing. Surprisingly, on the other side of the room, Keith was turning faintly pink and mumbling while scuffing the ground with the tip of his shoes.

“Are you okay, Keith?” Hunk asked curiously, his own embarrassment forgotten in the face of Keith’s strange behavior.

“Yeah, Keith,” Lance said, his voice still dancing on that dangerous edge. “Are you okay?”

“I’m- fucking- I hate you, Lance!” Keith ground out, then spund around and marched back out of the lab.

Hunk could have sworn his face was completely red by the time he left the doorway, but Keith was gone too fast for him to tell. He rounded on Lance instead.

“What was that about?” Hunk cried incredulously. “That was the first time I’ve seen Keith all day!”

“It’s not like you guys work in the same room place or sleep literally next door to each other,” Lance said unabashedly. “You’ll see him at dinner or something.” He picked up a random pile of papers and moved them onto the floor, then hopped up onto the table where they had been sitting.

“All day, Lance,” Hunk repeated. He walked over and grabbed the papers from the floor and carefully shuffled them in with other piles scattered around the lab. “Working in the same place doesn’t mean anything if he’s not there.”

“That is the sappiest thing you have ever said about Keith ever,” Lance said with a huff. He leaned forward and dangled his one of his arms over the edge of the table. Lance made a gentle kissing noise and wiggled his fingers.

“I don’t say sappy things about Keith,” Hunk denied immediately. “I don’t say sappy things about my lab buddy. We’re just bros.”

“Mhmm,” Lance hummed skeptically, scooping Voltron up into his lap when the cat ventured out from under the table to sniff his fingers. “Let me repeat what I just heard you say.”

“Lance, that really isn’t necessary,” Hunk said flatly.

“I don’t really like Keith,” Lance simpered loudly, ignoring him. “But when he smiles, it makes my day, and when he’s not around, I spiral into crippling depression.”

“I don’t spiral into crippling depression,” Hunk muttered. He turned back to the holoboard, which had finished the reboot cycle and was displaying the model and figures from before again.

“Okay, not crippling depression,” Lance sighed, “but you do get a bit moody.”

Hunk huffed and lifted his hands to finish the simulation with _Breezer Alpha_ ’s knee joint. “Whatever, man. Why’d you come down here in the first place? ‘Hunk, holy fuck!’ usually doesn’t mean good things.”

“Oh yeah,” Lance sighed. There was a long pause where the only sound was the soft hum of the holoboard and the gentle rumble of Voltron purring from Lance’s lap.

Hunk glanced over to see if Lance was going to continue, but he was staring off at the far wall with his fingers buried in the fur around Voltron’s neck. “Lance?” he prompted.

“I’m still here,” Lance replied. “Just thinking.”

Hunk nodded and made a few adjustments to the knee joint. He attached a few comments for Coran concerning alternate alloys and metals to test in replacement parts and sent the file, hologram and all, up to the Paladin bay. After skimming down the subject lines of all the emails he’d received since lunch, Hunk set the holoboard to low power mode. He shoved a heap of scrap parts onto the floor and plopped down on the stool they had been occupying next to Lance. With a relieved sigh, Hunk began pulling off his gloves one finger at a time.

“So, as you know, we started copilot testing for Shiro today,” Lance began slowly. Hunk nodded, tossing his gloves onto the table across from them.

“Well, Shiro wasn’t matching with anyone,” Lance continued. “At all. He beat everyone we put in front of him.”

“Even the ones you were sure of?” Hunk said in surprise.

“Yeah,” Lance said shortly. “And he wasn’t just beating them, cause I could have just found new candidates if that was the problem. He was playing a game or showing off or something, like he was trying to see how long he could drag on the fight before he won.”

“Oh, wow,” Hunk said. “Why would he do that?”

“When I called him out on it, I said it was because he wanted Allura to send him back-” Lance started.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Hunk interrupted. “You called him out on it? You, Lance McClain, called out your hero, Takashi Shirogane, your shining hero who you almost fought Rax about-”

“Oh my god, Hunk!” Lance almost shrieked, trying to push Hunk off his stool and cover his mouth at the same time. “Stop saying that!”

“Payback’s a bitch,” Hunk laughed, easily shaking off Lance’s attempts to move and silence him.

“Do you want to hear the rest of it or not,” Lance said loudly.

“Ok, ok. Shutting up,” Hunk chuckled. He folded his arms on the table on front of him and shifted his weight on the stool.

Lance huffed pompously. “Anyway, I said I thought he was trying to get Allura to send him back to Alaska, but I think he was actually afraid of connecting with someone. He wasn’t really attacking except for when he was getting hits. The rest of the time he was using defensive techniques to keep his opponent away from him.”

“Damn,” Hunk whistled. “So he didn’t match with anyone because of his old partner?”

“I wouldn’t say he didn’t match with anyone,” Lance said hesitantly. “But, yeah that’s what I think.”

“Then who did he match with?” Hunk asked, eyes narrowing. “You said he didn’t match with any of the candidates.”

“He, um-” Lance licked his lips nervously, stubbornly focusing on Voltron in his lap, “-he matched with me.”

“Oh shit,” Hunk said quietly. “Allura let you-?”

“Not by choice,” Lance mumbled. “Shiro basically forced her into letting me try.”

“Damn,” Hunk said, whistling softly. “How did she react?”

“Not pretty,” Lance said with a sad smile. “But that’s not the end of it.”

“Oh, gods,” Hunk groaned, letting his face fall into his arms. “How can it possibly get worse?”

“Rax,” Lance said simply.

“Say no more,” Hunk said with another groan. He knew Rax’s rhetoric only too well, both from personal experience and others’ stories.

“He walked in right after Shiro asked me to be his copilot,” Lance said softly.

“Shiro did what?” Hunk cried, straightening to stare at Lance.

“After everyone left, he asked me to be his copilot,” Lance repeated. He glanced up at Hunk, then looked away just as quickly. “But it doesn’t matter because Allura-”

“No, Lance,” Hunk said firmly. “It does matter. Allura has kept you away from piloting the entire time you’ve been at the Garrison. This is your chance to finally-”

Voltron chose that moment to stand up and reposition in Lance’s lap, his tail shooting up to whap Lance in the face. For a heartbeat neither Lance nor Hunk moved, then Hunk snorted out a loud hoot of laughter at Lance’s offended expression. The tension from their previous conversation vanished as they both dissolved into giggles. 

Voltron plopped out of Lance’s lap with a disgruntled huff at his antics and wandered off under the lab tables.

Hunk and Lance finally managed to get their laughter under control even though smiles continued dancing around both their lips.

“But I'm serious, Lance,” Hunk said, laugh lines smoothing back out into a serious expression. “Don’t let Allura stop you from doing this if you think it’s the right thing to do.”

“That’s the thing,” Lance sighed. “I’m not sure if it is.”

The room fell silent again, both men pondering what had been said.

The silence was broken by the repeated click of plastic bouncing off metal.

“Is Voltron trying to eat my stylus?”

“I actually have no idea what he’s trying to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so full disclaimer:
> 
> the tone/pacing/whatever of this fic will probs be massively different than from the beginning chapters. ever since around chapter 7 or 9 i feel like my intentions and focus on this changed from what i started out with and idrk where things are gonna go from here. like im still gonna work on this but my feelings abt these characters has changed quite a bit since i started and i dont think i can force a voice that i dont have anymore yknow? so yeah thats how things have been in my life whats up with you
> 
> also i made a twitter [@raccoonrave](https://twitter.com/raccoonrave) so there isnt just straight up radio silence between chapters anymore
> 
> as always: if ur still reading i hope you get a free snack from a vending machine and hmu if theres any mistakes


	12. Maybe He's Not Like His Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura's not satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaahhhhh im so excited abt this chapter cause i get to Talk About Allura which is honestly #awesome
> 
> also i changed the tags (and by changed i mean i dropped like half of them. content warnings are still the same as they were at the beginning tho)

Shay had worked with Allura on and off for years before the UN had set the countdown on the Garrison’s funding. Their interactions had been strictly professional, but they had stayed in contact with each other over the years through a combination of joint Paladin attacks and organizing workshops within the system of Shatterdomes and the Paladin Academy. Turned out that being two of the oldest and most experienced members of the Garrison meant they were needed to advise and assist on just about every aspect of the Paladin program there was.

Thanks to those years of friendship and collaboration, Shay had been Allura’s first choice for second in command when the Garrison was confined to the Hong Kong Shatterdome. She had accepted the position in a heartbeat, and their relationship had grown steadily closer and stronger ever since.

None of that, however, prepared Shay for a timid knock on the door after curfew and Allura standing fully dressed on the other side.

“May I be of assistance?” Shay asked slowly, scrambling to recall if she had missed the sound of an alarm.

“I understand if this is strange,” Allura began hesitantly, then paused. She shifted her weight from foot to foot. “But I wondered if I might talk with you about something?”

Shay blinked. “You are still wearing your uniform,” she blurted, suddenly worried about her own tank top and pajama bottoms. If Allura was here about official business, she would need to put on something more-

“Still wearing?” Allura repeated blankly. She looked down at her clothing, staring for a moment like her eyes weren’t processing what they were seeing.

“Oh!” she cried as understanding dawned. Her hand flew up to her chest as she blinked rapidly. “Oh, I’m sorry! I- didn’t even- I’m still- Oh my!” Allura licked her lips nervously. “I- May I borrow something to change into? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Shay looked at Allura. Allura looked at Shay.

There was a very long, very awkward pause.

Then Shay let out a low guffaw and burst into laughter. She leaned against the doorframe, her body shaking with mirth.

“Oh no! What is it?” Allura cried anxiously. “Have I crossed a line? Oh no! Have I-”

“No, no!” Shay interrupted, containing her laughter and waving a hand to silence Allura. “No, you have not offended me. It is just-” a small giggle slipped out, “-we have worked together for years-” another giggle, “-and you are worried about borrowing clothes!” She huffed softly. “It is a little… ridiculous.”

Allura opened her mouth to reply, but stopped. She frowned slowly, then her face cleared and a small smile crept over her lips. “I guess I am being a bit ridiculous,” she laughed softly. “There’s just been so much going on.”

Shay hummed sympathetically. “Do not worry, I understand. Come in.” She stepped back to let Allura into her room.

Allura hesitantly stepped over the threshold and looked around curiously. “You don’t have many decorations up,” she said, scanning the barren walls.

“Yes,” Shay nodded. She pushed the door back shut with one hand. “It never seemed important.”

“Oh, you still have this?” Allura asked, peering at a yellowing piece of paper framed and propped up on Shay’s desk. It was a colored pencil drawing Lance had shyly presented to Shay after the first time they met. He had still been in elementary school, but the strange proportions and questionable coloring job was still recognizably himself and Shay wearing pilot helmets and holding hands next to a Paladin.

Shay shot the paper an affectionate look and bent down to pull a t shirt and sweatpants out of the drawers built into the base of the bed. “Of course. ‘Maybe one day I can help you save the world, Auntie.’ It reminds me to have hope.”

“Oh,” Allura sounded a little choked. When Shay looked up, Allura was staring at the picture with her hands over her mouth and eyes glistening slightly.

Shay placed a comforting hand on Allura’s shoulder and held out the clothes. “Bathroom,” she said gently, jerking her chin at the door set in the wall next to the desk.

“Thank you,” Allura whispered. She took the clothes and hurried into the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind her.

Shay walked over to the desk and picked up the picture, sighing softly. Rax had told her all about his confrontation with Shiro, and dinner had been abuzz with the news of Shiro and Lance’s match even though both of them had been conspicuously absent from the meal. This was no doubt what Allura wanted to talk about, and it was unsurprising that the picture had hit her so hard.

It gave Shay hope because it reminded her of Lance’s childhood innocence and faith in the Paladin program, but for Allura it was a reminder of something else. It was a reminder of who she had lost, of her disastrous split with Pidge after years of being the best pilots the Garrison could offer. It reminded her of her attempts to save Lance from the same fate and how she had tried to guide him away from the Paladin program at every turn.

But not matter what Allura did, it wasn’t enough. Lance had always wanted to be a Paladin pilot. Shay remembered taking him up into her old Paladin, _Reaper Crystal_ , and letting him try on her helmet when he was young. She had encouraged him as much as she could, but when Allura lost Pidge, she had pulled back. Allura had made herself clear: Lance was never going into a Paladin ever again.

The sound of the bathroom door opening pulled Shay from her gloomy thoughts. Allura walked back into the room, uniform carefully folded over her arm. Her eyes were red as she laid her uniform on the desk.

“Are you comfortable?” Shay asked. Her clothes were hanging loose on Allura’s slighter frame, but she did have some smaller things hidden away somewhere if Allura needed them.

“Yes, thank you,” Allura said. She folded and unfolded the shirt of her uniform, not looking at Shay. Shay set down the picture and walked over to the bed. She sat down on the edge, feet resting on the floor. If Allura needed time to think, Shay would give it to her.

Allura sniffed a couple of times, subtly swiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. Shay watched her calmly, waiting for her to speak.

“You don’t think I’ve been ridiculous all these years?” Allura asked suddenly.

“You have done what you saw as best,” Shay replied levelly.

“That isn’t a real answer,” Allura sighed.

Shay shrugged. “The past cannot be changed. We must take it as it is.” She had not always agreed with Allura’s choices, but she knew that they had come from a place of concern and good intentions. But there was no use in debating them now.

“Very well,” Allura said after a pause. “I ask because I do not know what to do. What I did in the past has obviously not had the effect I wanted, but-” her voice sounded dangerously close to tears again, “-I can’t imagine- Lance in a Paladin- He doesn’t understand.”

“Understand what?” Shay asked curiously. Being surrounded by Paladin pilots for most of his life had probably given Lance a very good understanding of piloting and everything that came with it.

“He thinks- He thinks it’s a walk in the park,” Allura cried. She began pacing up and down in the space between the desk and Shay’s bed. “A bit of training and a trust exercise, and then just hop into the Drift. But it’s so much harder than that. I don’t think he ever understood how hard it is. Making the bond is easy, but to keep it healthy and strong, he just doesn’t understand.”

Shay watched Allura’s pacing silently. She had drifted with many pilots over the years, both in training and in battle. Allura was right. Keeping a stable connection between pilots over time was hard. It was not unheard of for piloting teams to separate after only a few years together. Shay herself had split with her first partner after their fourth battle.

“And with Shiro’s past,” Allura continued on, “I don’t know if that is a risk I’m willing to take.”

“Why does Shiro’s past matter?” Shay interrupted. “Would his experience not make him even more qualified for this?”

“Shiro’s experience is limited to one pilot, whom he was dating during their service,” Allura said. “And given how that service ended, I would be doubly cautious partnering him with someone as inexperienced as Lance. Shiro will be going into this with his memories of Matt Holt, no matter who we put him with.”

Allura groaned and flopped down on the bed next to Shay, leaning back so her torso and arms were laying diagonally in the space behind Shay. “All of the candidates Lance picked had been pilots before, and for good reason. Lance clearly saw that Shiro needed someone who could overcome or work around his expectations and reservations about drifting by offering experience and familiarity with Paladins. Someone who could give him a sense of stability and confidence.”

“And you believe Lance does not have that?” Shay asked. She turned so she could look down at Allura. “What is his failing?”

“We both know Lance has no experience with real piloting or drifting,” Allura sighed, staring past Shay at the ceiling above the bed. “I made sure of that. But even if he did, I would be hesitant. Shiro and hero-worshipping go hand in hand with Lance. He has always admired Shiro, and that will throw up many walls. He will be more worried about impressing Shiro and making him happy than establishing a healthy mutually beneficial connection.”

“Are you perhaps selling Lance short?” Shay asked slowly.

Allura’s eyes slid from where they were locked on the ceiling to look at Shay. “How would I be doing that?”

“You have always had much confidence in Lance’s abilities before,” Shay said levelly. “I worry that fear is clouding your judgement.” Allura frowned at her in confusion, so she sighed and continued.

“You are afraid that Shiro will harm Lance, either in the Drift or through ignorance of his needs,” Shay explained. Allura nodded slowly. “But I think you should put more faith in Lance. He can hold his own, as he showed in his combat with Shiro.” She laughed softly. “And I think we both know that Lance has never been one to hold his tongue when a situation is not to his liking. If things were not well between them, I am sure we would know.”

“Yes, but-” Allura began, but Shay cut her off.

“Allura, Lance is your son, but he is not you,” Shay said gently. “I do not mean to offend, but your experience with Pidge Gunderson is the exception, not the rule. You must be able to see beyond that to decide Shiro’s copilot. The world is at stake. Our personal feelings must take a backseat.”

Allura closed her mouth and looked away. “I see you have made up your mind on who it should be.”

“No, Allura,” Shay said, shaking her head. “I am not attempting to tell you what to think. I do not want you to make a choice you regret later.”

“You think choosing a different candidate is a mistake?” Allura asked, still not looking at Shay.

Shay sighed. “Possibly. The copilot tests are used because they work, and Lance passed them all. I think not giving him a chance could be disastrous.”

“Very well,” Allura said. “I- I need to think on this more.” She got up and picked up her uniform off the desk. “Thank you for talking with me.”

“Are we not friends?” Shay chuckled. “That is what we are for.”

“I know,” Allura smiled. “But all the same, I appreciate it.”

“Very well,” Shay said, smiling back and standing up to open the door. “I will see you tomorrow.”

“Yes,” Allura said. Her exit from the room was surprisingly regal given the neon pink “PRINCESS” emblazoned on the butt of her borrowed sweatpants. Shay closed the door after her with a small laugh.

It was the little things that made life worth living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so howd yall like shays pov? i loved it, but lmk what you think so i know how much to add her to the character rotation going forward
> 
> as always, hmu if you see any mistakes and i hope yall readers find a $20 on the ground or something
> 
> in the meantime and between time twitter [@raccoonrave](https://twitter.com/raccoonrave) woot woot


	13. Hey There Takashi, What's It Like Outside The City?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dark night in a city that knows how to keep its secrets, but some people are still trying to find the answers to life's persistent questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of pidge’s …… “Programming” might be completely wrong but like my sketchy knowledge of python and java and the wikipedia page on virtual machines seem to back up what i said so
> 
> this is the last time you have to read a recap of the copilot fight I Swear

The gentle whir of fans and hum of electricity filled the air. A faint blue glow spilled out over the room from numerous dimmed monitors positioned haphazardly on low tables scattered around the perimeter of the space. Lines of text scrolled by on some of the screens while charts and graphs updated and changed on others. The dull red numbers of a drugstore alarm clock balanced on top of one of the monitors changed from 11:59 to 12:00.

One of the monitors brightened suddenly, a rotating globe filling the screen.

“Incoming call,” a stilted male voice said into the silence.

On the brightened monitor, a flashing light appeared on the coast of China. The screen centered on the light and began zooming in on the globe until the city of Hong Kong filled the screen. The flashing light jumped from the center of the screen to a massive area labeled ‘CLASSIFIED’ in large letters on the coastal outskirts of the city.

A mound of blankets on top of a bare mattress in the middle of the room twitched. “Who’s it?” a groggy voice slurred from the depths of the mound.

“Phone code A113, assigned to Takashi Shirogane. Location: Hong Kong Shatterdome,” the male voice reported promptly.

“Fuck!” the other voice shouted, and the mound of blankets began struggling with itself in earnest. “Pick it up! Answer it! Shit!”

“Connecting,” the male voice announced calmly. “Playing call over speakers.”

“Hello?” Shiro’s voice said, reverberating slightly.

“Hey, Shiro,” Pidge replied as their head emerged triumphantly from the tangle of blankets, glasses askew and hanging precariously from one ear. “What’s up?”

“Where do I even being?” Shiro answered with a sigh.

“I’ve heard the beginning is usually a good starting point,” Pidge said, stretching their arms above their head and rolling their shoulders lazily.

“Thank you for your invaluable wisdom,” Shiro answered flatly. “You are clearly putting all those degrees to good use.”

“Hey, there,” Pidge snapped playfully. They reached up and pulled their long brown hair back into a ponytail and straightened their glasses. “You should show your elders some respect.”

“Forgive me, oh wise and aged mentor,” Shiro said, eyeroll clear from his voice.

“That’s more like it,” Pidge said with a grin. They kicked off the last of the blankets and hopped to their feet. “Now tell me what happened.”

“It’s not good,” Shiro warned.

“Kid,” Pidge began, walking over to one of the monitors and plopping down in the beanbag in front of it. “I have seen so many types of ‘not good’-”

“Back in my day...” Shiro interrupted mockingly. “I got it. Are your shaking your cane at the sky right now?”

“Fuck off,” Pidge answered easily. “Continue.” They tapped the monitor, bringing to to life. If they were awake, they might as well get some work done. Prize winning theses didn’t write themselves.

“Allura held the copilot tests this morning,” Shiro said.

“Yeah, you mentioned that last night,” Pidge said absently, flicking through information on their screen.

“Yeah,” Shiro agreed. “She had an assistant watching the tests with her, I think he was part _Kerberos_ ’s restoration program. He was definitely in charge of selecting the candidates, though.”

Pidge tore their eyes from their thesis data and stared at the monitor flashing the map of Hong Kong. “Describe him,” they said sharply. They knew Allura had let Lance join the Garrison, and they knew he had been working on _Kerberos Rising_. Lance had called them countless times asking for help and advice for it. But Allura would never let Lance anywhere near Paladin pilots, would she?

“Um, uh,” Shiro cleared his throat. “He’s tall, almost as tall as me. And he’s pretty fit, too. Not that you could tell from the way he dresses, but when he took his shirt off, he looked-

“Was his name Lance?” Pidge interrupted impatiently. They didn’t have time for whatever dumb crush shit that was making Shiro talk about this mysterious assistant in such weirdly specific detail. And they didn’t even want to touch why Shiro knew what he looked like shirtless. They just wanted to know if it was Lance or not.

“I- Yes,” Shiro said haltingly. “Lance McClain, if I remember correctly.”

“Lead with that, next time,” Pidge said wryly.

“You did say to describe him,” Shiro said defensively.

“Not like you were gonna pick him up in a bar,” Pidge muttered to themself. Twenty bucks on Shiro not even realizing how, uh, revealing his description of Lance had been.

“What was that?” Shiro asked. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said that’s really interesting,“ Pidge said, raising their voice to normal volume. They closed the thesis data on their screen and opened their access to the Hong Kong Shatterdome’s mainframe. “I didn’t think Allura would let Lance be in the same room as Paladin pilots, much less pick one’s copilot candidates.”

“Really?” Shiro asked. “That explains some things.”

“Like what?” Pidge asked. They activated a program to sort through the Shatterdome’s files to find files on Lance. How could they have possibly missed him being assigned to finding Shiro candidates?

“Allura got angry when we matched as copilots,” Shiro said

“What?” Pidge found themself staring incredulously at the monitor flashing Shiro’s location again. “Explain?”

“He was watching the tests, and he called me out for not trying when I wasn’t matching with any of the candidates,” Shiro answered.

“Hah, remember when they tried to accuse you and Matt of the same thing?” Pidge interrupted with a laugh. The Academy trainers had been furious that Shiro and Matt had matched so perfectly with each other but so awfully with everyone else.

“Yes,” Shiro said shortly. “I do.”

Pidge paused, his tone breaking through their fond memory. “Aw, shit, man,” they said softly. “Sorry if that was sensitive-”

“No, it’s- I’m fine,” Shiro said. He took a deep breath. “I’m fine.”

“Ok,” Pidge said said after a short pause. “Lance called you out?”

“Yes, he did,” Shiro said, voice returning to its normal cadence. “And so I challenged him to fight me as a candidate.”

“You didn’t,” Pidge groaned. This story just kept getting better and better. They were surprised Shiro was still alive to be talking to them right now. The fact that Allura hadn’t murdered him on the spot was something to be applauded. Maybe they should send him a medal. The Almost A Darwin Award is hereby awarded to Takashi Shirogane for having balls of steel, the absolute fucking dumbass.

“I did,” Shiro said. “And after a little bit of nagging-” ‘a little bit of nagging’ Pidge mouthed in disbelief, “-Allura let him do it, and we matched. But she stopped the fight early and told us we couldn’t be copilots.”

“There’s the Allura we know and love,” Pidge said with a sigh. They turned back to the screen processing the Shatterdome files. “Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.”

“She wasn’t the only one,” Shiro said heavily. “Shay Javeeno’s half-brother was there too. Rax. He thinks that I shouldn’t even be there because I’m not qualified to pilot a Paladin.”

“From what I’ve heard, that isn’t the only thing he thinks about you,” Pidge growled. Lance had recounted many of his interactions with Rax to them, through both anger and tears in equal parts.

“From what I heard, it most certainly isn’t,” Shiro said with a hollow laugh. “I was summarizing.”

“Ah,” Pidge said delicately. “Got it.” They scanned down the list of files their program had already grabbed from the Shatterdome and began tagging them with different colors.

Shiro sighed heavily. Pidge hummed in agreement. They sat in silence for a while. Halfway through the list of files, Pidge opened their server’s virtual machine and routed the Lance files, tags and all, into a separate localized platform. They flipped back to their original screen and closed the connection between their server and the Shatterdome.

“I-” Shrio began, then paused. “I don’t know what to do.”

Pidge went back to tagging Lance files without a word. Shiro sounded like he was still working through what had happened that day, he didn’t need them to say anything. Sure enough, Shiro continued talking.

“I tried to find Allura afterwards, but no one who knew where she was would tell me,” Shiro said heavily. “I just wanted to talk to her. Ask her about Lance, maybe explain,” he trailed off.

“Explain what?” Pidge asked curiously. They started eliminating the color coded file groups that didn’t contain Lance’s assignments and work for Allura. His medical record and miscellaneous paperwork weren’t really relevant to his project history at the Shatterdome.

“I really think Lance should be my copilot,” Shiro replied. “When we were fighting, I just felt it. I felt us connect. It wasn’t like Matt, because nothing will ever be like that, but it was still there. He could read me, he could tell where I was going and what I would do.” Shiro had started to sound slightly dreamy to Pidge’s ears, but they withheld their comments.

“He could read me so well, he called me out in front of Allura,” Shiro said, admiration lacing his words. “He knew me so well. And those candidates he picked, they were actually very good. In another life, they would have been perfect. I could have settled for one of them if I had to. But when he stepped onto the mat with me, none of that mattered.”

Pidge froze, hands hovering over their computer screen. Paladin pilots didn’t talk like that about just anyone. They themself had only ever talked about one of their copilots like that.

“That fight was something else,” Shiro continued on. “At first, I think we were both just messing around, but then something changed. It was like I understood him, like I knew him. We met each other barely two days ago, but it was like fighting an old friend. We were a little out of sync, but if we worked at it, I just know we could do it. We could pilot _Kerberos_ , I know we could.”

“I think,” Pidge said slowly, “that you are in very dangerous waters, Shiro.” If he really felt that strongly about Lance, there was no way he would be able to Drift with any of the other candidates. There would be too much disconnect, Shiro wouldn’t be as invested because he would always be wondering if his connection with Lance would have been stronger.

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Shiro said softly. “I guess we’ll see who Allura picks in the morning.”

“I guess we will,” Pidge agreed. They could only hope that Allura would let Lance and Shiro at least try. They knew their son, and they knew Allura did, too. If Shiro felt this strongly about it, jaded and twice shy as he was, there was no way Lance, with his dreams of piloting, was willing to let it go.

“Good bye, Pidge,” Shiro murmured. “I should try to sleep.”

“Yeah,” Pidge agreed. “Sleep well. Bye.”

There was a long silence after Shiro hung up. Pidge leaned back in their beanbag so their head touched the floor and sighed. There was so much to process. It was too late for them to deal with that right now. They should just go back to sleep and work it out in the morning.

Right as Pidge’s eyes slid closed, however, the male voice of the computer sounded through the room. “Incoming call.”

“Who?” Pidge asked without opening their eyes.

“Phone code 02, assignment unrecorded. Location: Hong Kong Shatterdome,” the computer answered.

“Damn,” Pidge sighed. “Pick it up.”

The computer beeped, and the sound of static and gentle breathing filled the room. The person on the other side of the line didn’t speak at all.

“What is it with you people tonight?” Pidge asked the silence. “First, I had to listen to my dead brother’s boyfriend wax poetic about my own son, now you. What is it?"

“I need help on a project,” Keith answered. “And who better to ask for it than my old professor, Dr. Katie Holt?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that ending was not intended to be a dramatic reveal, just to idk confirm stuff thats implied in other chapters but yknow read it however you want
> 
> hmu if you see any mistakes, update twitter [@raccoonrave](https://twitter.com/raccoonrave), and if youre still reading i hope you get to take a really nice nap or something


	14. Wake Up In The Morning Feeling Like Life's Shitty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grab some Charms, he's out the door, gonna do something shifty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short one sorry its been a lil bit wylde in my life recently
> 
> content warnings: Opinions On Cereal Technique, Opinions On Cereal In General, Author Has Very Strong Cereal Opinions For Someone Who Eats Toast For Breakfast
> 
> also if u forget which shiro arm is which (like me!) right is metal

Shiro fought back a yawn as he looked down into the bowl of cereal on the table in front of him. His head was propped up on his left arm while he listlessly stirred the cereal with his right hand. It was 4 o'clock in the morning, so no one was around to see his disheveled hair and wrinkled clothes, not that he really cared.

After hanging up with Pidge, Shiro had been unable to fall asleep. He was completely drained from all the fights Allura and Lance had put him through, and the emotionally charged conversation with Shay’s brother had only drained him more. Shiro would have welcomed the sweet escape of dreamless sleep, but the moment his head hit the pillow, everything that had happened and all the emotions that came with it had started clamouring for his attention, no matter how hard he fought to ignore them. Nothing had helped.

Shiro had given up sometime around 3 AM and wandered into the cafeteria. A cereal bar had been set up next to the serving lines for anyone who rose before the cooks and servers shuffled out of bed. So Shiro had poured himself a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and sat down. The constant roar of the air conditioning system far above, the wet crunch of cereal, and the occasional clink of his spoon hitting the edge of the bowl were the only sounds in the room.

He flexed his prosthetic hand gingerly. Punching that wall after Lance left had not been one of his better ideas. Now, whenever Shiro closed his hand, a sharp stab of pain shot up his arm and the entire limb twitched uncontrollably for a heartbeat before the fingers jerkily curled the rest of the way into his palm. He would need to get someone to look at it before Allura found out. Maybe Lance’s engineer friend from the elevator could help him. What had his name been? Hank?

The squeak of someone’s sneakers against the tile floor snapped Shiro out of his reverie. He blinked rapidly to pull his eyes back into focus and stared at the source of the noise.

Keith was frozen in place halfway between the door and the cereal bar.

Shiro blinked again just to make sure Keith wasn’t a weird shadow on the wall.

He wasn’t.

Keith was standing with his arms flug out and all his weight forward on one foot. It looked like he had overbalanced, and his shoe had squeaked when he lunged forward to catch himself.

Shiro looked around the otherwise empty cafeteria, then back at Keith. He was fully dressed. At 4 in the morning.

“Are you-” Shiro began.

“Leaving,” Keith interrupted. “I’m leaving. Nice to see you, bye.” He spun around and started back towards the door to the hallway.

“Wait, wait,” Shiro said quickly, sitting up straight and holding out his left hand in a stopping gesture. Keith slowed to a stop and looked over at him. “Don’t let me stop you from getting breakfast.”

“I wasn’t,” Keith said.

“Then why are you leaving?” Shiro asked. Keith stared at him, then huffed angrily and walked back to the breakfast bar.

He grabbed one of the cereal containers with a surprising amount of venom and began pouring Lucky Charms into his bowl. Keith picked up the milk, and Shiro felt his heart stop. Then, Keith grabbed a cup and began pouring milk into it. Shiro let out a quiet sigh of relief. Keith picked up his bowl and spoon and turned to face the Shiro. He hesitated, then marched over to Shiro’s table and sat down. 

“Happy?” he muttered, sullenly shoving a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

“Never,” Shiro responded easily.

Keith grunted in acknowledgement and continued grumpily eating his cereal, occasionally coming up for air and a sip of milk.

Shiro watched Keith silently until the cereal had mostly disappeared. Allura had claimed the he was one of the world’s foremost Galra experts, but that didn’t mean much. Everyone thought they were Galra experts these days, and that they alone knew the right way to defeat the creatures from the deep.

The only “Galra expert” Shiro had ever met that actually knew their stuff was Pidge, and they had been studying the Galra since before he’d joined the Academy. So why did Allura trust that Keith knew enough to be a real Galra expert? And more importantly, why was he here instead of Pidge?

Shiro needed to know more about him before he would agree to any plan Keith had a hand in making. “So,” he began, “where did Allura find you?”

“She didn’t,” Keith said shortly. “I applied here.”

“Why?” Shiro asked. That was not the answer he expected. People didn’t apply to do research for the Garrison. They were recruited, whether they wanted to be or not.

“The person I studied under was more interested in the theoreticals of the Galra, but I wanted to do more hands on studies,” Keith shrugged. “The Garrison was the only place that could get me that.”

“Hands on?” Shiro said slowly. “Does that mean what I think it does?”

“Probably,” Keith said with a wry smile. “I cut them up and do science.”

“Sounds messy,” Shiro laughed softly. Keith was turning out to be nothing like he expected.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Keith agreed. He picked up his empty cup and flipped it over, placing it upside down on top of the spoon already in his bowl.

“Have you ever heard of someone named Pidge Gunderson?” Shiro asked. If Keith had heard of Pidge, maybe he could explain why Allura was so angry when he mentioned them. “If your mentor studied Galra theory, maybe you came across them?”

Keith’s face immediately shuttered. “No,” he said. “I’m unfamiliar with their work.”

“Oh,” Shiro said. Why was Pidge such a touchy subject for so many people in the Shatterdome? “Sorry, I didn’t realize-”

“It’s not your fault,” Keith interrupted. “Excuse me, I need to go.” He grabbed his bowl and stood up sharply.

“Hey, before you leave,” Shiro said quickly. “Lance’s engineer friend. What was his name?”

Keith’s eyes narrowed as he looked Shiro up and down. “Why do you want to know?”

Shiro sighed heavily. Without a word, he lifted his right arm with his forearm pointed up at the ceiling and let the elbow fall onto the table with a dull thump. He spread the fingers of the hand and rotated it back and forth like a magician before a card trick.

“Yeah?” Keith said warily. “What about it?”

Shiro curled his fingers into his palm. True to form, the limb jolted and twitched, then fell to the table with a thunk as the fingers awkwardly finished their journey. Shiro did his best not to flinch, and from the impressed look on Keith’s face, he succeeded.

“Does it hurt when you do that?” Keith asked, brow furrowing.

“Maybe,” Shiro answered unhelpfully.

“Uh huh,” Keith said slowly. He searched Shiro’s face for a long moment. “His name’s Hunk Garrett. K-Science Lab. Don’t tell him I sent you.”

“Why not?” Shiro called as Keith walked over to the kitchen entrance and dropped his bowl and cup next to the sink. “You two don’t like each other?”

Keith paused. “It would be a lot easier if that was the problem,” he said cryptically, then made his way out of the room.

Shiro watched him go. Sure, he had more questions than answers now, but atleast he knew where to get his arm fixed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you. dont. put. milk. in. lucky. charms.
> 
> also i got to use “cryptically” to describe keith so i can check that one off the bucket list
> 
> love u if ur reading and hmu if theres mistakes  
> sometimes i tweet progress reports [@raccoonrave](https://twitter.com/raccoonrave)


	15. He's Got An Attic, Got An Attic Full Of Old Junk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith didn't set out to be an attic gremlin, but damn if it didn't turn out that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i lied in my tweet… i did manage to hit 1k on this one but the next one…. not so much

The top floor of the Shatterdome had been abandoned since before the decommissioning of the Garrison. Whatever its original intended use had been, it had been repurposed into a giant storage area. And, as Keith was slowly discovering, there seemed to be no logic behind the contents of the crates that had been left for the dust to claim.

Judging from the labels and crates that Keith had already pried open, the contents of the attic had been indiscriminately placed next to and on top of each other with no regard for organization or purpose. Outdated spare uniforms had been stacked with regulation precision next to sloppy piles of spare machine parts and old file boxes.

Which was another strange mystery of the top floor. The piles of crates were assembled with such a wild variety of methods that it was hard to believe the same group of people had used it as a dumping ground. Some crates were stacked closely together with the clear intention of minimizing space and maximizing stability while others were haphazardly placed in teetering piles whose only goal seemed to be disappearing up into the dimness out of the reach of Keith’s flashlight and the occasional rays of sunlight falling down from the skylights.

Alone in the swirling dust motes, Keith heaved himself onto the top of a stacked pile of crates.

The crates in this pile had been placed uniformly on top of each other in an interlacing pattern like brickwork to form a giant block. Keith called it the Cube. He was using it as a base in his careful exploration of the massive attic. It was right beneath one of the skylights, so he didn't have to run down his flashlight battery, and it wasn't as tall as the other piles, so he could climb up and down it throughout the day without too much effort.

Keith had spent most of yesterday sweeping all the dust off the top of the Cube and setting up a small generator pilfered out of Hunk’s Closet of Misfit Machinery. The one thing the attic didn't have was power outlets, and Keith needed the sketches and notes hidden in the maze of files on his laptop. So he'd hooked the generator up to a couple adapters so he could plug in his laptop, in addition to a bunch of industrial welding gear he’d found in the second crate he opened.

Keith wasn't entirely sure the welding gear would work, but it was the best he had. It wasn't like he could just ask Jess to borrow his. If he did, Hunk would hear about it and figure out what Keith was up to.

Hunk had already said no to helping Keith build Drift tech to use on a Galra, and finding out that Keith was doing it anyway without telling him, well, Keith didn't want to think about what would happen after that.

Keith glanced at the welding equipment with a sigh. He hated hiding from Hunk like this, but it was his only option. They needed to know more about the Galra before they lost what few Paladins they had left.

Keith grabbed his laptop and walked back to the edge of the Cube. He sat down, letting his legs dangle over the side. A few moments later, the fans on his laptop sputtered into overdrive as his notes and sketches opened one after another in a jumbled pile of windows. 

Keith bent forward, squinting at his screen. He’d give anything to be able to use Hunk’s holoboard instead of having to sort through the tens of different windows to find everything.

Eventually, however, Keith managed to locate his list of parts and notes on adjustments to current Drift tech. If he could find some cast off prototypes or broken parts, his job would be much easier. Instead of having to build an entire Drift system from the ground up, he would just need to fix the pieces and adjust the system to account for a Galra’s conscious. Plus it would save him the trouble of having to duplicate the software that ran the technology and maintained the mental connection between pilots.

Pidge might still have a copy floating around from when they were designing the Mark 3 Paladins, but they hadn't been too excited about his idea when he’d told them about it the night before. They wanted to look over his design before he went forward with it, but Keith didn't have time to wait for their approval. He had a pretty good idea of how fast the Galra brain fragment’s neural network would deteriorate, and it wouldn’t take long.

Keith scanned down his list, then set the laptop aside. He looked around at the crates around him and took a deep breath. The crates weren’t going to open themselves. He swung himself around and began the climb down the side of the Cube. There was a pile a couple stacks over that looked promising.

As he wove through the stacks towards his goal, Keith’s thoughts wandered to when he had done this only two nights before on his way to go find Lance. Lance had seemed upset about Allura’s reaction to Shiro’s question, but he seemed fine when Keith had run into him in the lab yesterday. Well, fine enough to make fun of Keith, anyway. Keith hadn’t really stuck around after the teasing started. He didn’t need Hunk to figure out Keith had a big embarrassing crush on him just cause Lance couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

But Keith should probably check in with Lance to make sure he was okay. He owed him that much after all the stuff they’d gone through together in their teen years.

Figuring out when to do that would be a problem, though. He’d have to do it late at night. After his awkward run-in with Shiro in the cafeteria, Keith wasn’t going to risk meeting any weird morning people or wandering insomniacs by walking around the Shatterdome in the morning anymore. He could just stockpile energy bars at the Cube or something instead of getting cereal for breakfast. Keith groaned a little at the thought. Getting those meant another trip down into the Shatterdome and another chance to accidentally run into Hunk.

Keith came to a stop in front of the pile he’d been walking towards. It was one of the smaller jumbles of discarded machinery. This particular pile spilled over into the aisle next to it and pressed up against the stable stacks of crates on either side of it. Keith could stand on the stacks of crates to grab parts from the top of the pile instead of yanking parts from the bottom and unleashing an avalanche of falling machinery.

A quick search of his surroundings produced a rusty crowbar that shed chips of paint all over Keith’s hands when he picked it up. Keith hooked it through his belt with a shrug and prepared to climb one of the crate stacks. That would be useful if he needed to open any crates later. The heavy knife blade he’d been using as a lever yesterday had already snapped in half anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, halfway thru writing this: fuck i need to rewatch the heith epsode of s2
> 
> who betas? not me! lmk if u see anything and also ilu if ur still reading  
> [@raccoonrave](https://twitter.com/raccoonrave)


	16. The End Of The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A copilot is chosen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE LAST CHAPTER IN THE EXPOSITION GUESS WHO'S EXCITED????? ME!!!!!!!
> 
> sorry this is short but like i needed to get this shit out of the way or else i was never gonna finish it

“Hello, Lance,” Allura said with a small smile. “Thank you for coming down to meet me.”

“No problem,” Lance replied, cautiously walking up and standing next to her. They were on the lower of the two walkways built into the wall of the main Paladin bay. Breakfast had ended and mechanics and technicians were trickling into the bay below them.

“So I think you know what I want to talk about,” Allura began.

“Shiro’s copilot tests,” Lance said glumly.

“Yes,” Allura said slowly. “That.”

Lance nodded. He had expected this. He was the one who had selected Shiro’s candidates, and none of them had connected with him. That meant he had failed.

“Do you have your tablet with you?” Allura asked, glancing over at him.

Lance nodded again. He held it out to Allura. She probably wanted to review his work or send it off to someone so they could figure out everything he’d done wrong to pick Shiro's candidates.

“Good,” Allura said. She didn't take the tablet away from him. Lance frowned in confusion.

“Open your files on Shiro and explain to me why you picked each and every one of those candidates,” Allura continued, looking down at the meandering bustle of the people below them.

“What?” Lance asked. “You aren't gonna confiscate it?”

“No,” Allura said, frowning. “Why would I do that?”

“No reason,” Lance said quickly. He opened his copilot files as nonchalantly as he could and began talking her through each of the candidates.

“And what would you say ties these candidates together?” Allura asked when he finished.

“They all match with Shiro,” Lance answered promptly.

“Lance,” Allura said warningly.

“Sorry, sorry!” he said quickly. Lance thought for a few seconds, flipping back and forth between the faces of the candidates he’d picked. After a moment, he began talking.

“They’re all confident. They know themselves. They were the candidates with the most consistent performances in the simulators. They were able to adapt quickly to different situations and they were also able to adapt themselves to fill in with whatever support their partners needed. But,” Lance trailed off. He wasn’t sure if he should say the most important factor in his decisions in front of her. Everything he had just said, that was standard stuff, things that were expected of a good pilot, even though they were not necessary for success. But he had considered something else as well.

“But?” Allura prompted.

“Well,” Lance said slowly, “they’re also willing to take risks. It’s something that I noticed about his old partner, Matt Holt, and the more I thought about it, the more important it seemed to be in Shiro’s new copilot as well.”

Allura was nodding slowly. “Yes, Matt was like that, but why does his new copilot need it as well?”

“Shiro didn’t exactly have the best experience at the end of his service,” Lance said. “He’s gonna be gun-shy getting back in a Paladin, even if he seems ready. He needs someone who’s willing to push him outside of his comfort zone so that they can get the job done. We won’t have time to ease him back into a Paladin. His copilot will need to be able to drag him into it right away. They'll need to be willing to try things that might explode in their face. They have to be willing to do things outside of the normal bonding procedures to get Shiro ready in time.”

“That makes sense,” Allura agreed, “Would you say that you could do that, Lance? Push Shiro out of his comfort zone? Fill in whatever he’s missing? Adapt to new situations?”

“I’m not sure,” Lance honestly. Maybe he’d pushed Shiro when they were fighting in the combat room, but everything else wasn’t so easy.

“Because I would,” Allura said, interrupting his train of thought.

“What?” Lance said, turning wide eyes to her. “Why would you say that?”

“Because Shiro chose you, Lance,” she said heavily. “And for better or for worse, it is not for me to get in the way of that.”

“Are- are you saying what I think you are?” Lance gasped, stumbling over his words.

“It's time for you to meet your copilot,” Allura said. She smiled and pointed down to where Shiro had just walked through the entrance to the Paladin bays.

Lance lunged forward and hugged her as tightly as he could while she laughed softly in his ear. “Thank you so much, Estrallura,” he whispered.

“Make me proud,” she whispered back. Lance released her with a giant grin and sprang off towards the stairs to tell Shiro the good news.

He was so excited he almost missed the worried look on Allura’s face and her tight-knuckled grip on the railing as he left. Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE YOU MY BEAUTIFUL READERS THANK YOU
> 
> now its time for the Fun Stuff
> 
> isnt a beta a kind of fish cause i sure dont know any other kind :/ lmk if there are mistakes  
> [@raccoonrave](https://twitter.com/raccoonrave)


	17. He's Here For A Fixed Arm, Not A Broke Arm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know he, he hasn't had a good arm in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this sure is a whopper of a chapter consider it pay back for all the short ones ive done recently
> 
> in honor of me finally launching us over the 30k mark and into insanity, i would like to scream for a very very long time
> 
> heads up the past shatt comes up in this so sorry if thats not ur cup of tea also hunk “misgenders” pidge but not in a way that i consider misgendering cause all he knows is that theyre a sister, but you might so idk
> 
> s t r e s s i need a beta
> 
> i wasted 1500 words worth of inspiration on a one shot i didnt even finish but atleast the writers block is gone right

K-Science Lab. Hercules Garrett.

Hunk stared at the two lines of text on the metal plaque next to the door. He stubbornly ignored the hot pink sticky note Lance had stuck next to his name with with “Keith Ko-LAME” scrawled on it.

It was his lab. His. He shouldn't be afraid to open the door to his own lab. But he was.

If Hunk didn't open the door, he could at least pretend. Pretend that Keith would be on the other side, somehow managing to sit criss cross on a stool. Pretend that everything was okay.

Because Hunk had to pretend, didn't he? Because clearly things weren't okay. Because Keith was avoiding him.

That was the only explanation that made sense. Keith was avoiding Hunk. He hadn't been in the lab since his face off with Lance. Hunk had checked the security footage to make sure. Keith hadn't answered the door any of the times Hunk had stopped by to see if he was there. Neither of the Jesses had seen him either, and Allura had just frowned and shook her head when Hunk asked her. Was Allura hiding something? Had Keith asked her to keep Hunk away from him?

Hunk reach out and pulled the sticky note off the plaque. He stared down at it, subconsciously running his thumbs up and down the edge of the paper. What had he done to chase Keith away? Had Keith figured out how Hunk felt about him? Was it because of what Lance had said?

After a moment, Hunk snorted and shook his head. No, Lance had said way worse things before, and nothing had changed between them. It was something else.

Maybe Keith just needed to get away from all the excitement of having Shiro around. Maybe things had calmed down enough. Maybe he would be there today. Maybe everything was actually all right. Maybe Hunk was worrying for nothing.

Hunk took a deep breath. Just open the door. Keith would be there. Hunk knew he would.

He reached out and opened the door.

The lab was empty.

Hunk took a deep, shuddering breath. Was he really surprised that Keith wasn't there? He should be over it by now. Hunk blinked rapidly, mentally willing his tears back down. It's not like Keith wanted to fix whatever had gone wrong. If he did, he would have been there. Not off wherever he was. Away from Hunk.

Hunk walked into the lab and closed the door behind him. The pink sticky note lay crumbled in a ball on the floor of the hallway.

\---

Hunk was laying across one of the lab tables, morosely flicking spare nuts at targets on his holoboard when someone coughed behind him.

Startled, Hunk yelled, tried to stand up, and fell off the table.

There was the sound of hurried footsteps, then Shiro’s worried face appeared in Hunk’s line of vision.

“Are you ok?” he asked cautiously.

“Yeah,” Hunk squeaked. “You just startled me.”

“Oh,” Shiro said, a small smile creeping across his face. “I’m sorry. Need a hand getting up?”

“Yeah,” Hunk grunted. He took Shiro’s offered hand, and let him pull him to his feet. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Shiro said. He was sporting a full blown grin by now. “I’ll try to avoid startling you off of tables in the future.”

“Appreciated,” Hunk said with a grin. “Now, um, why are you here? Aren’t you and Lance supposed to be doing trust falls or something?”

“No, actually,” Shiro answered. “Allura thinks we’re ready to get into _Kerberos_ , so she’s giving us the rest of the day to rest so we can have a fresh start tomorrow.”

“I bet Lance was excited about that,” Hunk said absently, trying to close the target program on the holoboard without Shiro noticing.

“Yeah, he was.” Something in Shiro’s voice made Hunk turn and look at him. He was looking down and his face had relaxed into an affectionate smile. “I think that’s part of the reason Allura let us go early. He was literally vibrating.”

“That’s Lance, alright,” Hunk grinned.

“But anyway,” Shiro continued, straightening up, “I’m here to get my arm fixed.”

“Arm?” Hunk repeated. “Then you came to the wrong place. Did they not show you where the medical wing is?”

“No, I’m pretty sure I’m in the right place,” Shiro said. He lifted up his right arm and waved. “I don’t think the medical wing will know what to do with this.”

Hunk was pretty sure if his eyes got any wider they’d fall out of his head. Shiro wanted him to fix his prosthetic. Takashi Shirogane wanted him, Hunk Garrett, to fix his multimillion dollar cutting edge prosthetic arm.

“I- I’d be honored,” Hunk said breathlessly. “But- Well, it’s just-”

“What?” asked Shiro. His brow furrowed in confusion. “Is something wrong?”

“No!” Hunk said quickly. “But also yes. I mean, they only made like seven of those, didn’t they? And yours is the only one that’s still,” he paused, “operating.” Three of the other recipients’ bodies had rejected the prosthetics with disastrous effects on both themselves and the electronics of the limbs. The other three had died in combat.

“I didn’t know that,” Shiro said, a pained look on his face.

“Oh,” Hunk said. There was an awkward pause before he plowed on. “Well, now that you do, you can see that there isn’t that much information about how your arm works that isn’t hidden under layers of military secrecy and stuff. I’d be flying blind.” He sighed. “Maybe if Keith was here, I’d feel better about doing it, because he’d be able to help with the whole connected-to-your-nervous-system part, but-”

“Hunk,” Shiro interrupted.

“Yeah?” Hunk said, snapping out of his train of thought.

“Don’t worry about the connected-to-my-nervous-system part,” Shiro said calmly. “There’s a kill switch inside the elbow that blocks the connection between the arm and my brain. It just feels like my arm is numb. You won’t be able to hurt me.”

“Yeah, but what if-”

“Hunk.”

“What?”

“Please calm down. I trust you to do it right.”

Hunk blinked. Then opened his mouth. And closed it. Then blinked again. “Okay,” he said slowly, drawing out the second syllable of the word. Shiro trusted him to fix his prosthetic. Takashi Shirogane trusted him, Hunk Garrett, to-

“Hunk,” Shiro said, amused exasperation creeping into his voice. “Please just fix my arm.”

“Yeah, shit, okay,” Hunk said quickly, flushing slightly as he realized he was being ridiculous. “Uh, come sit over here.” He gestured to a stool next to the holoboard. Shiro walked over and sat down calmly.

“Um, what's wrong?” Hunk asked, awkwardly standing next to Shiro. He felt like a doctor talking to a patient. What kinds of things do doctors talk about?

“It hurts when I make a fist,” Shiro said. “A lot.”

“Can you show me?” Hunk asked, frowning. Pain could mean anything. Wiring could be shorted out. A plate could be jarring the neural feedback network. Contacts could be out of alignment. “Wait, no. Don't do it yet.” He spun around and scanned the mess on top of the lab tables. There had to be at least one of Keith’s weird Galra sensors lying around that he could rig to scan Shiro’s arm. If he could see the inside of the arm while it was still moving before turning on the kill switch, it would be easier to find the problem and fix it. 

Hunk spotted the sensor he was looking for next to the samples Keith had showed Allura not that long ago. He sighed softly as he jogged over and picked it up. Keith’s absence stung more than ever at the reminder of their last time together in the lab.

“Is everything okay?” Shiro called. He must have heard Hunk’s sigh.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Hunk said, shrugging it off as he wove back through the carefully labelled samples and stacks of experiment data. “My lab buddy just hasn’t been here in a while, and I’m worried about him. I found what I needed.” He waved the sensor at Shiro.

“Lab buddy?” Shiro asked curiously.

“Yeah. Keith,” Hunk said shortly. He flipped over the sensor and popped off the back so he could adjust it so it wouldn’t get fried by Shiro’s arm. “Do you mind if I attach this to your arm?”

“Of course not,” Shiro said, holding out his arm. “You’re right, though. I haven’t seen Keith around very much either.”

“You’ve been training with Lance. He’s a scientist,” Hunk pointed out. He snapped the back onto Keith’s now sabotaged sensor and grabbed the two dangling leads. “Your paths don’t exactly cross that often. I’m gonna put one of these nodes on your wrist and another next to where the prosthetic connects to your arm, okay?” Shiro nodded and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt so his entire arm was exposed. Hunk attached the two nodes to Shiro’s arm, which flinched slightly the first time he touched it, then held almost impossibly still for the rest of the process.

“That’s true,” Shiro nodded. “Are you ready now?”

“I just need to sync this up with the holoboard, one sec,” Hunk muttered. Curse Keith and his sensors with tiny screens and buttons. He poked fruitlessly at the device for a few more seconds. Nope, that wasn’t happening. Hunk reached into his pocket, pulled a Bluetooth dongle out, and stuck it into the port on the bottom of the sensor.

A window popped up on the holoboard.

“Wireless mouse successfully connected?” Shiro read. He looked at Hunk. “Is it supposed to do that?”

“It’ll figure it out,” Hunk said dismissively. “I’ve done this loads of times. I thought you trusted me.”

Shiro laughed softly. “If you insist. Is everything set up now?”

“Yep,” Hunk said. He scooped up his holoboard gloves from a nearby table and flicked the Bluetooth window closed. “Show me what you got.”

Shiro took a deep breath, then raised his right arm and curled the hand into a fist. Or at least he tried to. The fingers seemed to glitch pretty impressively halfway through the motion before the internal automation of the hand overrode the mechanisms and completed the gesture. Once his fist was closed, Shiro let his arm fall down to his side again with a small huff.

“And you said it hurts?” Hunk asked, eyes wide. The sensor hadn’t even finished processing the data from the arm, but he could already tell that the amount of electricity shooting out of the arm and into Shiro’s body had to be painful.

“A lot,” Shiro said, repeating his earlier words with a slight smirk.

“Ouch,” Hunk winced. He turned to the holoboard and poked at the progress bar that had appeared. “If this does what it’s supposed to, I’ll have a model of the inside of your arm so I can figure out exactly what’s wrong. It may take me a while, so you can leave if you want to. Go find Lance and hang out or something.” And leave Hunk to mope alone in peace.

“I think Lance can survive the rest of the day without me,” Shiro said with a laugh. “And I should probably learn more about my arm if it really is the only one left in the world. I won’t always have a Hunk to fix it for me.”

“You might not even have a Hunk now to fix it,” Hunk muttered nervously as the holoboard began constructing a model of Shiro’s prosthetic. He was used to working on 300 foot tall robots with parts bigger than his head, not really, really, really tiny, delicate mechanisms that were also directly wired to Shiro’s nervous system.

“Keith seems to have a lot of faith in your abilities,” Shiro said comfortingly. “I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

“You and Keith buddies now?” Hunk asked with a snort. Keith could make time to talk to Shiro, but not him? Keith really did hate him.

“Oh no,” Shiro said quickly. “Not at all.” He laughed softly. “I had to force him to talk to me. ‘Buddies’ is a stretch.”

“Oh,” Hunk said shortly, face heating up. “I- Sorry for assuming- I’ve just been worried about him, and hearing that he's been, uh, talking about me, but not to me is-”

“Frustrating?” Shiro supplied, an understanding look on his face.

“Yeah,” Hunk huffed. “That.” He pulled on his holoboard gloves and clicked the fingers together to activate them. The holoboard had finished layering the different components of Shiro's arm into an interactive model. A small rectangle with “Run Simulation” inside appeared next to the model.

“I remember those days with Ma- my old partner,” Shiro said with a sigh. “It's not a very fun place to be in.”

“What?” Hunk asked, looking back at Shiro and hoping his alarm wasn't showing on his face. “I never said anything about me and Keith being partners.”

“Just lab buddies?” Shiro said with a raised eyebrow.

“Exactly,” Hunk said with a brittle smile. “Just lab buddies.” Shiro nodded slowly, but thankfully let Hunk work in silence as he turned back to the model, familiarizing himself with the layout of the arm before he began troubleshooting.

And it was a good thing he did. The inner workings of Shiro’s arm were more complicated than Hunk had imagined. When Hunk had been recruited to the Garrison, he had hunted down every bit of information that he could about the infamous Paladin Prosthetics, but what scant information he had found had been more concerned with the capabilities of the prosthetics in battle rather than the components inside. Knowing what the limbs could do had given Hunk an idea of what might be hidden under the metal plates, but it hadn’t prepared him for how intricate and thorough the designers had been in making sure the limbs could deal with any and all situations the wearer of the prosthetics might face.

The servos in the fingers alone where enough to make him drool.

“Shiro,” Hunk said gravely, turning to look at him with wide eyes. “If my heart wasn’t already taken by lamb vindaloo, I would ask your arm for its hand in marriage.”

Shiro laughed self consciously and ducked his head. “I’m not sure Keith would be happy about that.”

Hunk froze, eyes now wide for a completely different reason. “K-Keith?” he stammered quickly. “I don’t- Wh-Why would that- He doesn’t- What does Keith have to do with your arm?”

Shiro gave him an amused smile. “Maybe the part where you want to marry it?”

“Not you too,” Hunk groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Did Lance put you up to this?”

“No,” Shiro said with another laugh. He reached out and patted Hunk on the shoulder. “Neither of you are particularly subtle, and like I said, I’ve been through this myself. I know the signs.”

“Okay, good,” Hunk sighed in relief. For all his teasing and ‘matchmaking’, Lance could still kinda keep a secr- “Wait, neither of us?”

“Yes?” Shiro said, puzzled.

Hunk stared at him, throat dry. “Are you saying Keith likes me back?”

“He basically admitted it to me,” Shiro said, watching Hunk with a small smile. “And that scene in the elevator with Lance was pretty obvious too.”

“What scene?” Hunk demanded. He rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, trying to contain his excitement. Keith might like him back? This was even better than Shiro’s arm! It was like Christmas and his birthday all at once! _Wait, no. People with Christmas birthdays always got less presents. This was like_ \- Hunk’s brain scrambled to find an adequate comparison for what exactly he felt, but Shiro’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“On my first day here,” Shiro said. His eyes were dancing with laughter, like he could tell what Hunk was thinking about. “When you and Keith were bringing in those Galra samples.”

Hunk nodded slowly, remembering wheeling in the samples and Lance’s starstruck sputtering. A nasty part of his brain whispered that he could easily repay Lance the endless teasing and embarrassment about Keith with just a few words to Shiro, but he squashed it down like the good friend he was. Lance didn’t deserve that. Probably.

“While you and Lance were hugging, he made some comment to Keith about ‘wanting in on this’ and pointed at you behind your back,” Shiro continued.

“He didn’t,” Hunk whispered. He took back everything he said about Lance. He had teased Keith about liking Hunk right in front of him, in Hunk’s arms, and he hadn’t even told Hunk he knew. Lance deserved to be embarrassed and worse.

“He did,” Shiro said, still laughing with his eyes. “Keith turned bright red, too.”

Hunk gaped at him. No way. No freakin way. “He blushed,” he said faintly.

“Mhm,” Shiro hummed.

Hunk blinked rapidly, pieces slowly falling into place. Lance teasing Hunk. Lance teasing Keith. Hunk blushing. Keith blushing. Lance knowing they liked each other. “Lance was trying to set us up!” he yelled indignantly.

“Probably,” Shiro agreed. “He’s nice like that.”

“I’m mad,” Hunk announced after a few seconds. “I’m very very mad. I’m going to find Lance and make him regret being born.”

“Maybe fix my arm first?” Shiro suggested with a laugh. “Allura would probably kill you right back if you murdered her son.”

“It’d be worth it,” Hunk muttered darkly.

“No, it wouldn’t,” Shiro said calmly. “Because you would lose your best friend who only had your interests at heart, and you would also be dead.”

“Stop saying things that make sense,” Hunk whined, turning back to the hologram of Shiro’s arm. He had a pretty good idea of how the arm worked now. There were two main systems within the prostetic: the servo motors that made the arm move and the intricate AI processing network that interpreted the signals from Shiro’s nervous system into code. There was also a third, smaller system that generated energy using Shiro’s body and collected excess energy from the other two systems’ functions, but that system wasn't connected to Shiro's nervous system, so he dismissed it.

“If it makes you feel any better, Keith might have sworn Lance to secrecy about his feelings,” Shiro pointed out. “Maybe teasing the two of you was the only way he could push you two together without betraying someone’s trust.”

“Or he’s just an asshole,” Hunk said grumpily. He separated the servo array from the AI netwrok in the model of Shiro’s arm. “How would you know?”

“Remember what I said about going through it myself?” Shiro said. He sighed and rubbed the back of his head. “Me and my old partner used to be ‘just friends’ too.”

“You mean Matt?” Hunk asked without thinking.

“Yeah,” Shiro answered quietly. “Matt.”

“Oh, crap. I’m sorry,” Hunk said hurriedly, realizing his mistake. Shiro had been avoiding Matt’s name, then Hunk had to go and say it out loud. “If you don’t want to talk about it-”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Shiro said. He huffed out a resigned laugh. “The people I worked with on the Wall didn’t really care about where you came from, and the psychiatrists they gave me after his death were more interested in getting me field-ready again, so I’m not used to people who care enough about him to use his name. It hurt more to say it before coming back here, too.”

Hunk nodded. He raised his hands back to the model, activating the simulation and watching pulses of electricity simultaneously travel through the mainframe of the arm and the separated model of the servo array. “If it’s okay with you, can you tell me more about him? About you guys? Cause Lance always talked about how you were such great partners and how to replicate that match, but there wasn’t that much information about just you.”

“Of course,” Shiro said with a smile. “I love telling people about how I embarrassed myself into a relationship.”

“Really?” Hunk asked, surprised.

“No,” Shiro said flatly. “At the time, I actually thought I was going to die.”

“Holy crow, what happened?” Hunk laughed. He was pretty sure he’d found the source of the problem, but he ran the simulation a couple more times just to be sure, flicking the servo array in and out of alignment with the rest of the arm.

“Matt’s sister and some of our friends set us up,” Shiro said. He turned faintly pink and ran a hand down his face. “They told me to come over for a party to celebrate his sister getting a contract, but when I got over to Matt’s house, there wasn’t anyone downstairs. So I texted them asking where everyone was, and they told me the party was going to be somewhere else, and Matt was upstairs waiting for me so I wouldn’t get lost on the way.”

“Lemme stop you there real quick,” Hunk interrupted. “I think I found the problem. A servo got knocked out of alignment, and it’s cinching off a bunch of wires in your wrist. Can you place your arm palm up on the table and activate the kill switch?”

“Sure,” Shiro said, spinning on his stool so his hip was against the table and doing what Hunk asked. He winced when he flipped the kill switch, but waved Hunk over. “The plates on the outside are held in place with electromagnets, so you can take them off now, but there are grooves on the underside, so you have to take them off like this if you don’t want to break them.” He pushed down on one of the plates until there was a faint click, then slid it off of his arm, exposing the wiring inside.

Hunk nodded, then began walking around the lab, picking up tools he needed. “Back to you and Matt,” he said over his shoulder, “let me guess. He wasn’t up there?”

“Oh, no. He was,” Shiro said. “He wasn’t waiting for me, though.” Shiro was definitely red now. “He was, um, jacking off. Loudly. I could hear him from the bottom of the stairs.”

“Damn,” Hunk muttered. He dumped the tools on the table next to Shiro’s arm and grabbed his own stool to sit on.

“Yeah,” Shiro said with a sigh. “He was saying my name, to make matters worse. That’s when I figured out what Pidge and the rest were trying to do.”

“Pidge?” Hunk asked curiously. _Pidge isn’t a common name, but Shiro can’t be talking about Pidge Gunderson, engineering genius and designer of the Mark 3 Paladins, can he?_

“His sister,” Shiro said.

“Ah,” Hunk said. _Clearly not that Pidge then. Matt’s last name had been Holt, not Gunderson. Must be someone else._ He finished removing all the plates on Shiro’s inner forearm and around the wrist. “So what did you do?”

“I ran away,” Shiro answered. “I avoided him for two whole days until Pidge called me and told me to stop making Matt miserable. The moment I saw him, I turned so red, he thought I had gotten sunburnt.”

“You mean like you were blushing earlier?” Hunk asked. He grinned down at the tools he had buried in the inside of Shiro’s wrist. “Cause that was pretty red.”

“Yes, thank you for the comparison,” Shiro muttered. “Anyway, that’s when I told him what happened and tried to laugh it off. We’d been friends since childhood after all, and I was so deep in denial I was looking for any chance to make things go back to the way they were. But Matt looked like he was about to pass out.”

“Did he confess?” Hunk asked eagerly, looking up from realigning the servo.

“No, he tried to laugh it off too,” Shiro said. “But I was still blushing, and he was white as a sheet, so I don’t think either of us really believed it. We probably would have stayed like that for the rest of our lives if Pidge hadn’t gotten annoyed with all the pining and yelled at us to fuck already in the middle of movie night a month later.”

Hunk let out a startled laugh. “Pidge sounds like fun. I’m glad she and Lance don’t know each other. She might give him ideas.”

Shiro shot Hunk a strange look. “Pidge and Lance don’t know each other?”

“I hope they don’t,” Hunk said nervously. “They might have met when Lance was doing research for your copilots. Would she have told him that story?”

“Um, Pidge is a they, and I don’t know,” Shiro said slowly. Now he looked nervous, too. “Gosh, I really hope they didn’t.”

Hunk frowned at the first part, then dismissed it. _“Pidge” must just be a common non-binary name, or maybe Matt’s sister picked their name after Pidge Gunderson or something._ But more importantly- “Why do you hope they didn’t tell Lance?”

“Because it’s embarrassing!” Shiro said indignantly. “How would you feel if Keith found out that you and your ex got together because of that?”

“So you consider you and Lance to be like me and Keith?” Hunk asked, eyebrows shooting up in interest.

“No!” Shiro answered, way too quickly.

“Mhm,” Hunk hummed smugly.

“Are you almost done fixing my arm?” Shiro asked desperately.

Hunk let the subject change slide with one last grin, and began explaining the adjustments he’d made. Shiro asked a lot of questions, but he understood what Hunk was saying surprisingly well. “Robotics nut in high school,” Shiro explained with a laugh.

Once they were finished geeking out over Shiro’s arm, Hunk slid all the metal plates back into place, and Shiro flipped the kill switch to reactive the prosthetic. Shiro flexed his hand a couple times and turned to Hunk with a grin.

“All good,” he announced happily. “Thank you, Hunk!”

“No problem,” Hunk said. “And thanks for telling me about you and Matt,” he added as he walked with Shiro to the door. “It makes me feel much better about how things are between me and Keith. Neither of us have messed up that badly.”

“Thank you, too,” Shiro replied earnestly. “It’s good to be reminded that remembering Matt doesn’t have to hurt. Talking about him helped me a lot.”

“Yeah, man,” Hunk said, and patted Shiro on the shoulder. “I’ll be here if you ever want to talk more.”

Shiro nodded. “Good luck with Keith. Make sure you get him before Lance tells you to fuck in the middle of dinner.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Hunk waved Shiro into the hallway with a laugh. Things with Keith would never get that bad. Now that he knew Keith liked him, there wasn't any reason for Hunk to hide his feelings. Hunk felt a sappy smile spreading across his face and buried his face in his hands to hide his giggle of excitement. Keith liked him. Keith. Liked him. Hunk.

A sudden thought floated out of the back of Hunk’s mind, and his giggles trailed off into silence. His eyes narrowed slowly. If Keith wasn’t avoiding Hunk because he hated him, then where was he and what was he doing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so unbeta’d it isnt even funny im sorry
> 
> totally stole the kill switch in shiros arm from a fic in a different fandom but technicalities who cares
> 
> dont ask me why i made lamb vindaloo the thing hunks in love with cause there really isnt an answer i just spend way too much time thinking about indian food
> 
> and i only just realized that (lance) mercilessly teasing ur friend (hunk and keith) abt their crush (keith and hunk) in front of said crush might not be Normal Best Friend Behavior whoops im an asshole
> 
> if ur still reading i love you thank you
> 
> u already know whats goin on [@raccoonrave](https://twitter.com/raccoonrave)


	18. Does She Believe In Lance In The Drift?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura can feel something inside her say, she really don’t think he’s strong enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapters summary/title combo is a cher believe reference because that is basically all i listened to while writing it. thanks for coming to my ted talk.
> 
> SEMI IMPORTANT: in case anyone doesnt know/remember: for most of the jaegers, the pilots get into the connpod/head separately and then the head is dropped onto the rest of the jaeger once theyre locked in. russia is different. cuz its russia.

Allura didn’t get nervous. She was Marshall Pentecost, head of the Shatterdome and leader of the last defense for mankind. Her life was a legend others only dreamed of having. She had fought through Hell and faced Death in the land of its own making and won. Nerves were a thing that happened to lesser people.

But as she stood in the middle of _Kerberos Rising_ ’s control room on the day that her son was about to step into a ConnPod for the first time, Allura had to admit that she might be a little uneasy.

Lance and Shiro had progressed through their copilot training at a remarkable speed. They had passed all the tests with flying colors. Their simulation results were astounding. Every opportunity for failure had been blazed through with ease.

It seemed like they could do nothing wrong.

Allura didn’t like it. It was unnatural. Piloting pairs always had a buffer period where they figured out how to work with each other. Lance and Shiro had jumped right into perfect sync without even a word of upset.

Despite her initial faith in the match, Allura was beginning to have doubts.

“That’s an awfully stormy face to have right before a Drift, Marshall,” Coran’s voice piped up right next to her ear.

Allura winced. “It’s an awfully strange Drift,” she replied. “They haven’t had enough time to get used to each other.”

“By all accounts, they don’t need any more time,” Coran chuckled. “Young Lance has matched with Shiro perfectly.”

“Exactly,” Allura said darkly. “Too perfectly.”

“Allura,” Coran said softly. She turned to look at him in surprise. He only ever used her first name in private, away from the rest of the Shatterdome. “I know you are worried about Lance, but I think you are overreacting. He matched with Shiro, and they adapted to each other faster than we could have hoped. You should be happy! This means they can be out there fighting Galra when the next attack hits, but instead you’re brooding. This is a good thing. Let yourself relax!”

“No, Coran,” Allura whispered. “That is exactly why I can’t relax. If this goes badly, we will be right back where we started before I brought Shiro in. All the time and effort we poured into bringing him here and preparing him and Lance will have been wasted. We will have squandered valuable time that could have been spent on a piloting team that won’t fail.”

She turned away from him to walk over to the giant window facing _Kerberos Rising_. Coran followed her quietly. Allura stared at the blank spot where the ConnPod would be lowered onto the Paladin.

“When I spoke to Shay before approving Lance and Shiro, she told me that this was beyond any one person, that this was bigger than all of us. She was right. We don't matter for who we are, only for what we can do to protect humanity. If we aren't doing what the world needs us to, then we are failing. And we can't afford to fail.” Allura’s eyes hardened as they traced over the pink Kirby painted on the Paladin’s chest.

“The UN doesn’t want to admit it, but we are this planet’s last hope. We are the only thing standing between this world and whatever is on the other side of the Breach. We can’t afford to do our job any way other than perfectly.” She glanced over at Coran. “I will be thrilled if Shiro and Lance drift without issue and prove to be the drop that turns the tide in this fight. But until then, there are too many variables for me to relax.”

Allura took a deep breath and looked back at _Kerberos Rising_. “I am the leader of the only operating Shatterdome left. That means I am responsible for the life of every person here, and the safety of every person on the planet. If I make a choice that endangers that safety or those lives, I will be responsible for the destruction of mankind.”

Allura turned back to face the room. Rax Javeeno had slunk in at some point while she was speaking. Their eyes met over the heads of the technicians who had stopped in their work to listen. Her next words were spoken just as quietly as the ones before, but there was no mistake to whom they were directed.

“It may seem like I am allowing my worry for my son to cloud my judgement, but I fear the opposite is the truth. I fear that instead of allowing my worry for Lance to prevent me from making a choice that could save us all, I am letting my love for him blind me to his faults and the mistakes he has made. Letting Lance into the Drift could save us all, or it could lead to our destruction. He is not perfect. None of us are. But when the fate of the world is at stake, we must be. Lance hasn’t saved us yet, so I think I am right to fear that he won’t.”

The room was completely silent as Allura finished her speech. Every pair of eyes was locked on her, the outline of the Paladin through the window looming behind her like an imposing shadow. Rax gave Allura a slight nod as a mutual understanding passed between them. He had been the biggest ongoing opponent of Allura’s plan for the restored Mark 3 Paladin because of his concerns that Allura was not facing the fate of the world with the appropriate amount of gravitas. With his fears about her sincerity laid to rest, he straightened up and walked out of the command center without a word.

“We have a copilot test to run!” Allura announced to the frozen room. “Get back to work!”

A ripple of guilt rolled across the technicians’ faces as they lurched back into motion.

Allura turned to Coran to find him peering at her closely. “What was that about?” he asked with a nod to where Rax had been standing.

“Not all of us were willing to let this test happen without interruption,” Allura said flatly. “Now we are.”

Coran nodded slowly. “Very well, Marshall. Pilots are on standby, waiting for go to enter the ConnPod.”

“Very well,” Allura said. She straightened and walked over to the center of the room. “Run the final system check, and send them in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw everyone thinks ur being a concerned mom but ur actually a general in charge of an entire shatterdome who cant afford any mistakes
> 
> thank u for hanging on this long. im ver appreciate. shits gettin Real now.
> 
> sometimes i say things [@raccoonrave](https://twitter.com/raccoonrave)
> 
> ((((next chapters are gonna be on the shorter side, im still recovering from the 4k nonsense that was ch 17))))


	19. Drift Is Their Five Letter Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Make that handshake, watch it burn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPRISING TRAILER BABY
> 
> beta’d by the lovely SolarisGaudium
> 
> italics with quotes is things from shiros memory and just italics is lances voice in his mind

Back when he had been with Matt, suiting up had been one of Shiro’s favorite parts of piloting a Paladin. The noise of the technicians rushing around combined with the click and whir of the drivesuit mechanisms locking into place had helped him relax and settled his mind while he and Matt flirted and teased each other.

Suiting up with Lance was a completely different experience.

The technicians still rushed around in a flurry of ordered chaos. The pieces of the drivesuit still settled on his body and tightened into place in all the familiar ways. The man standing next to him in the middle of the room, however, was not still anything.

Lance hadn’t been completely stationary since they had stepped into the drivesuit room. If he wasn’t spinning around trying to look at everything around them at once, he was striking ridiculous poses and thanking imaginary fans while the technicians laughed and tried to fit various pieces of armor on before he moved again.

Shiro watched the entire fiasco with a slight smile. As Lance had grown more and more comfortable with Shiro during training, his blushing nervous facade had fallen away to reveal his true personality. And Shiro was quickly discovering that he liked snarky talkative Lance even more than he liked blushing nervous Lance, though the blush had been a tragic loss.

One of the technicians tapped him on the shoulder, pulling Shiro out of his thoughts. He tore his gaze away from Lance and looked over to see the man holding out a helmet. He took it and pulled it over his head as someone behind him attached the magnetic spine to the back of the battle armor, connecting it to the bodysuit underneath.

There was a strange pinch around his elbow. Shiro looked down with a frown. A technician was attaching a grooved arm guard over the exposed metal of his prosthetic. Small magnetic clasps had flipped out from either side and connected down the length of his inner arm, but there was a large bolt screwing directly into his elbow to secure the entire ensemble in place. The technician removed the drill from the bolt with an apologetic smile and stepped back.

With the spine and arm guard attached, the drivesuit was complete. Shiro felt the mechanisms of the outer armor make slight final adjustments and pulled his shoulders back and lifted his chin. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. For the first time since he had arrived in Hong Kong, he felt like he was finally where he belonged.

“Hey, Shiro!” Shiro opened his eyes to see Lance standing in front of him with a giant grin on his face. Lance knocked the side of his own helmet with his fist. “Ready to get inside my head?”

Shiro laughed. “I don’t know, Lance. Are you really someone I want to be inside?”

Lance choked. “Sh-iro?” he wheezed.

Shiro ran through what he had just said with a frown. “Wait-no!” he cried, eyes going wide. “That came out wrong! I didn’t mean to-”

A hoot of laughter interrupted him. Shiro looked at his copilot with a sigh. “Very mature, Lance.”

If anything, Lance just laughed harder. Shiro had never been so thankful to hear Allura’s voice commanding him to enter a ConnPod before in his life.

\---

Standing in the ConnPod of _Kerberos Rising_ again after so many years was a very strange experience. Shiro’s memories from the last time he had been inside it were painful at best and devastating at worst. He could feel those memories now, pounding for attention around the fringes of his mind.

Shiro tried to ignore them, to shove them away and focus on Lance and his new purpose, but it was hard. Random snatches of sound made it almost impossible as they kept looping through his mind like a broken record. The screech of tearing metal. Matt’s scream as he was torn out of the Pod. The roar of the Galra.

Something touched his shoulder, and Shiro jumped. He spun around to see Lance looking at him with wide eyes, hand hovering halfway between them from where he’d quickly pulled it away from Shiro’s body.

“Is it too much?” Lance asked worriedly. “Do you need to leave?”

Shiro realized his heart was racing, and his breaths were coming in harsh gasps. He sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes. He exhaled slowly.

They were inside a Shatterdome. The Galra couldn’t get to him. He was safe. Lance wouldn’t let anything happen to them. Everything would be okay.

Repeating reasurances to himself did little to help Shiro find the calm he had walked out of the drivesuit room with, but it gave him something to focus on instead of the memories taunting from the corners of his mind.

“I’ll be okay,” Shiro said as steadily as he could.

Lance frowned unhappily but nodded and let Shiro continue into the ConnPod ahead of him.

Shiro looked at the two piloting harnesses, hanging so innocently in the middle of the ConnPod. Lance started towards the right one, but Shiro threw out an arm to stop him. “I think I’ll take the right,” he said as evenly as he could. The scars tracing over his arm and torso flashed through his mind, and Shiro shuddered as he remembered the biting cold of the Arctic wind and the pain from the drivesuit burning into his skin.

Lance shot him a confused look. The left harness was usually given to senior pilots with more experience, to the point that pilots who took the left harness were referred to as ‘riding lead.’ It was the harness Shiro had used with Matt.

Which was why he couldn’t use it now. That was the same harness he had lost Matt in, and the same harness he had been in when he carried the mental load of an entire Paladin for hours until he passed out.

“My right arm is a bayard, remember?” Shiro said instead. It was easier to let Lance come to his own conclusions than try to explain the jumble of emotions tied up in his chest. Lance would understand them soon enough anyway once they were in the Drift.

Lance nodded slowly and moved towards the left harness.

Shiro almost wished he would say something to break the oppressive silence that had fallen over the ConnPod. Anything to distract him from his racing heart and sweaty palm.

The floor under the harnesses unfolded to reveal the slots for their boots. Shiro and Lance stepped into position as one.

“Guess we don’t even need the Drift if we’re already synced up so well,” Lance joked weakly. Shiro looked over at him as latches sprung up to hold their boots in place and the dangling harnesses connected to the backs of their drivesuits in a whine of machinery. Lance was smiling nervously at him, chewing on his bottom lip and trying to put on a brave face.

“Is it finally feeling real?” Shiro asked. Lance nodded.

Shiro gave him a reassuring smile. “It’s okay to be nervous. I am, too.”

Claw arms unfolded from the sides of the harnesses, aligned with their forearms, and wrapped around the wrists of their outer arms. Lance immediately flipped his hand over so his palm was facing down to catch the piloting bayard that materialized there a second later.

On Shiro’s side, a technician was running a thin wire from his harness into a small port on the inside wrist of his prosthetic. Once attached, the wire was deftly hidden inside a special groove in the armor over his arm so it wouldn’t get in his way or snag on anything during the test.

The technicians scampered out of sight, and the back of the ConnPod ground shut behind them.

“Pilots, are you ready for drop?” Coran’s voice asked over the comms.

“Are we?” Shiro asked, looking at Lance. It was his call. Lance was riding lead, and more importantly, he was the one who would need the time to adjust to everything, not Shiro.

Lance nodded. “Ready for drop, Coran,” he answered with determination.

“Awaiting confirmation from the Marshall,” Coran answered cherrily.

“Engage drop,” Allura’s voice commanded.

“ConnPod secure. Drop engaged.”

“You might want to hold on,” Shiro advised Lance as the ConnPod began to rumble. Lance turned to look at him with fearful questioning eyes right as the Pod went plunging down towards the rest of the Paladin. His shock and surprise were something Shiro knew he was going to cherish for the rest of his life.

The ConnPod rocked to a stop around them and slowly spun around. Shiro could feel the jolts from the Pod connecting to the rest of the Paladin vibrating up through his boots.

In front of them, a grill dropped down over the giant reflective visor on the front of the ConnPod and unfolded into the giant viewscreen connected to the Paladin’s body cams. _Kerberos Rising_ ’s built in AI started organizing information and data feeds on the viewscreen and into the overlays on Shiro and Lance’s helmet displays.

Shiro could feel the excitement building in his chest, drowning out the last traces of uneasiness. This was where he was meant to be. Lance was the perfect copilot. He wasn’t going to let this chance go to waste.

The reactor core roared to life between their feet. Shiro smiled. It was good to be back.

“Coupling confirmed,” Coran said over the comms.

“Engage pilot-to-pilot protocol,” Allura ordered.

“Engaging now.”

“Prepare for neural handshake.”

“Initiating in 10.” Coran started to count down.

Shiro turned to grin at Lance. “Ready for the fun part?”

“And here I was, already having a great time,” Lance said with a dramatic sigh. Shiro snorted.

“Neural handshake initiated,” the AI announced.

The ConnPod around Shiro faded away, taken over by a shifting mass of light and sound. The Drift. The connection between two pilots’ minds that allowed them to control the giant metal Paladins.

Shiro pushed out with his mind, searching for Lance and trying to slot his mind in next to his partner’s.

Something was stopping him. Shiro could feel it like a wall in his mind.

Shame. Embarrassment. Fear.

Those weren’t his emotions. Lance. That was what Lance was feeling. And it had something to do with the wall.

Shiro pushed against it tentatively. It didn’t budge. He frowned and pushed harder.

Memories flashed around him like fireworks, bursts of color and sound trying to draw his attention away from his partner. Shiro refused to let them suck him in. He was a Paladin pilot. He had drifted before. He was stronger than the memories.

He sent a wave of encouragement through the Drift to Lance and shoved his mind at the wall with everything he had. They were copilots. They trusted each other with their lives. Lance had nothing to hide from him.

Shiro let out an angry yell as he tried to break through the wall holding them back from perfect synchronicity. Together, they would be _one_.

 _”Ready to get in my head?”_ His own voice floated by, repeating the words Lance had uttered earlier. Shiro’s focus jerked away from the wall in shock. He looked around wildly to try to locate the source of his words. When had he said that?

_”Please, after you. Age before beauty, babe.”_

Shiro gasped. Matt. That was Matt’s voice. He hadn’t heard it in so long.

_”Neural handshake initiated.”_

Shiro desperately scanned the memories around him. Where had Matt’s voice been coming from? Where had it gone? Why couldn’t he find Matt? Matt was always there in the Drift. Always.

Shiro could feel his breathing becoming irregular. He was panicking. He couldn’t find Matt, and he was panicking. If he found Matt, it would be okay. Matt would help him fix everything. He just needed to find Matt.

_Shiro?_

There was a stranger’s voice in his mind.

_Shiro, what’s going on?_

He didn’t recognize it. It wasn’t Matt. It wasn’t supposed to be there.

Shiro ignored it. He needed to find Matt.

_“Neural handshake strong and holding.”_

That was Coran’s voice. Coran could help him find Matt. Coran would know what to do. Shiro latched onto the thread of memory connected to the voice.

_”Right hemisphere calibrating.”_

That was Matt’s voice! Shiro lunged after the memory. Matt was here! The tattered edges of the memory unfurled in front of him. Matt’s face grinned at him through the visor of a piloting suit. Shiro let out a sob of relief. He’d found Matt. Finally.

_Shiro, no!_

The memory enveloped him and the cacophony of the Drift finally went quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Do you think they’ll let me keep the undersuit after? I really like the way it brings out my eyes and makes my ass pop.” was a line i wrote for lance before i editted it out for the sake of both shiro and my sanity. i hope it makes you laugh.
> 
> thanks for still reading!  
> [@raccoonrave](https://twitter.com/raccoonrave)


	20. On The Other Side Of The Pod Lance Knew, Stood A Boy That Looked Like Shiro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But shit, that deja vu. That plasma cannon can't be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to SolarisGaudium for beta-ing!

Lance’s world came crashing back into focus with a hard lurch. He looked at the scene in front of him with a gasp. The loud jumble of memories from before were gone. In its place were the dim lights and metal walls of an active ConnPod. _Kerberos Rising_ ’s ConnPod to be exact.

Slowly, Lance became aware of the roar of rain outside and the creak of the Paladin beneath him. He looked at the display screen on the front wall of the ConnPod with a frown. Searchlights shining from the sides of the pod illuminated the stormy seas crashing against _Kerberos Rising_. The inky darkness of a night sky covered by storm clouds stretched out overhead.

That wasn’t right. They had been inside a bay at the Hong Kong Shatterdome in the middle of the day when they entered the Drift. How had they gotten out into some unknown sea at night? Lance turned to Shiro to ask.

Except that wasn’t Shiro.

Strapped into the same position that Shiro had occupied not a minute ago was a significantly thinner person with strange goggles covering their eyes.

“Who are you? Where’s Shiro?” Lance said loudly over the rain.

The other person didn’t answer, just kept looking at the waves on the viewscreen.

“Hey!” Lance tried again. He leaned forward in his harness to try to get the other person’s attention, but found himself overbalancing and falling face forward on the floor of the ConnPod.

Lance scrambled back to his feet as quickly as possible and spun around. What was going on? There was no way that he should have been able to fall out of his harness.

As he finally looked at the rest of the ConnPod, Lance felt a sinking pit of dread in his stomach.

Shiro was standing where he had been moments before.

But it wasn’t the Shiro he knew.

This Shiro was younger, face less lined and weary, hair pure black, and the skin across his nose unbroken. This was the Shiro that had smiled down at Lance from _Kerberos Rising_ posters on his bedroom walls. This was the Shiro who had ridden lead for a year and brought _Kerberos Rising_ to four victories. This was the Shiro from before Matt Holt’s death.

Which meant that Lance was in a memory. Shiro’s memory. He swallowed nervously. Shiro had chased the R.A.B.I.T.

Allura had warned him about this. Random Access Brain Impulse Triggers. When a pilot fixated on a single memory in the Drift and threw the balance between the pilots out of alignment.

Lance had a sneaking suspicion he knew exactly which memory Shiro had latched onto.

“Grab that boat and get out of there!” Allura commanded over the comms. “Do you copy?”

A cold wave of fear washed over Lance. What Allura had just said was some of the last recorded audio from _Kerberos Rising_ before the Galra Sendak had torn the side of the Paladin off. He hated being right sometimes.

Lance walked over to Shiro on shaking legs. Now that he was closer, he could see that Shiro’s eyes were glazed over and his mouth was slightly open as little pants of breath fogged against the bottom of his helmet.

That wasn’t what Shiro had looked like in all the recordings of _Kerberos_ ’s last stand that Lance had watched during his research. No, at the time Shiro had been tense and alert, eyes sweeping back and forth over the waves watching for any sign of movement.

“Shiro, can you hear me?” Lance asked. The man in front of him didn’t react.

“Shiro, we’re stuck in your memory,” Lance said urgently. “I need to know if you can hear me.”

Shiro’s eyelids fluttered slightly. Lance took it as a good sign, but before he could say anything, Allura’s voice was crackling over the comms again.

“Grab the boat and get out of there, now!” Allura yelled with panic lacing her words.

“No!” Lance cried, and Shiro gave a wordless bellow as Sendak reared out of the ocean in front of the Paladin.

“Shiro, you have to listen to me,” Lance said as calmly as he could while _Kerberos Rising_ shuddered from the impact of the Galra’s horn crunching through the Paladin’s right arm. “None of this is real!”

“Right arm is cold!” Matt yelled next to them. “System’s offline, I can’t fire!”

“Shut up!” Lance yelled hysterically before turning back to Shiro. “Shiro, this is just a memory! It isn’t real!”

“I got it,” Shiro said in a strange empty monotone. He right arm shot out over Lance’s shoulder, narrowly missing his head.

Lance’s vision flickered and fuzzed erratically between Shiro’s memory and the real world ConnPod. To his horror, the real Shiro was also holding out his right arm, and the plasma cannon’s targeting overlay was spinning to life around his prosthetic hand.

“Shiro, no!” Lance yelled. “This is just a memory! You have to snap out of it! You’re gonna destroy the Shatterdome!”

“Almost there,” Shiro continued in the same hollow voice.

“Shiro, listen to me!” Lance yelled. He voice wavered slightly as panic rose up in his chest. “This isn’t real! You aren’t fighting the Galra! You’re in the Hong Kong Shatterdome! And you’re gonna hurt people! Real people! This is just a memory! Stop!”

The Galra in Shiro’s memory let out a bellowing roar. The plasma cannon in the real world beeped as it reached fully charged.

“No, no!” Lance sobbed. He knew what came next. He could feel the waves of fear from Shiro rolling through their connection. Matt was about to die. “Shiro, listen to me! If you don’t break through, you’re going to kill people! This test will fail, and they’ll give _Kerberos_ to someone else! We have to show them we can do this!”

Something flickered in Shiro’s eyes. In the memory, Lance grabbed Shiro by the shoulders and shook him.

“Follow my voice, Shiro! Listen to me!”

“Lance?” Shiro whispered faintly.

“Yes, Shiro! It’s me!” Lance said desperately. “It’s Lance. Your copilot. You’re stuck in a memory. You need to get out of it before someone gets hurt.” He pressed the forehead of his helmet against Shiro’s and closed his eyes. Any second the Galra was going to tear through the ConnPod, and if Shiro was still in the memory when that happened, the Shatterdome was going to be destroyed. “Just follow my voice. I know you can get out.”

“Lance?” Shiro repeated, voice growing stronger.

“Yes, Shiro,” Lance said. He looked at Shiro’s face. His eyes were clearing and the memory was starting to fade into darkness around them. “Come back to me.” Shiro’s eyes suddenly snapped onto Lance’s face right as the squealing tear of metal began above them.

The was a strange sucking sensation, and Lance was back in his piloting harness. He heard the echo of Matt Holt’s scream, followed by a shuddering gasp. Lance looked over at Shiro, who was breathing heavily as he deactivated the plasma cannon.

The whirl of the plasma cannon powering down and the rumble of the reactor core were the only sounds in the ConnPod for a long time. Lance poked around in his own head to see if anything felt different, but there was nothing but deafening silence from where Shiro’s emotions had been washing over him before.

The comms crackled to life, but for a full minute there was nothing but static. Then Allura spoke.

“This test,” she said with deadly calm, “will be considered a failure. Deactivate neural handshake.”

“No!” Lance cried, but Allura was gone, and then Shiro was too.

The viewscreen and the helmet displays went dark. There was a clunk behind them as a walkway connected to the back of the ConnPod. The piloting harnesses disconnected from the drivesuits with a hiss. The back of the ConnPod opened, and a technician came in to collect Lance’s bayard and disconnect Shiro’s prosthetic from the Paladin.

Lance walked over to make sure Shiro was okay, but he brushed past Lance without a word.

Lance suddenly felt very small and very alone with the tangled mess of fear and dismay in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so in pacrim they basically unplug the jaeger to end the test instead of raleigh pulling mako out of it but i thought it would be more Dramatic™ to do it this way and also i have a shipper agenda so fight me
> 
> if you're still reading i hope you find a golden ticket or something
> 
> yall know where im at [@raccoonrave](https://twitter.com/raccoonrave)

**Author's Note:**

> jsuk my very first planning notes for this had herc and chuck as keith and sendak instead of shay and rax and they were in a paladin called “galra bros XD” so
> 
> feedback is greatly appreciated!
> 
> special thank you to pendulumlike, "shancengst", and fairyystardust for spanish corrections!


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